Went to take out trash.Was talking on phone in Chinese. Man walked by on sidewalk & in interest of social distancing,I said,"sorry, go ahead." "FUCKING CHINESE,"he yelled loud enough I could hear him over aide& #39;s voice on phone. I turned to look at him to make sure I heard right

"Yea,I& #39;m talking to you, Chinese bitch," he continued. "UR FUCKING CHINESE." Man didn& #39;t seem drunk or mentally ill. I was so breathless I couldnt make sound on phone for long while. I was asked on phone if I was OK. I couldn& #39;t say anything for a long minute.He kept looking at me

I wasn& #39;t offended.I was afraid. I was worried he knew where I lived. I decided not to go fetch the bag of rice a few blocks away even tho I don& #39;t know if lockdown is coming & what that means for my grain situation. It doesn& #39;t seem worth it.

For the longest time,Ive been telling friends in China that altho racism against Chinese exists in this country,that& #39;s NOT what I feel in a pandemic.I& #39;ve never felt like this in my 27 yrs in this country.I& #39;ve never felt afraid to leave my home to take out the trash bc of my face.

I want to believe what happened is anomalous& that we r living in extraordinary times&fear can deform us. I wonder now if I should& #39;ve taken his pic but dunno if that would& #39;ve just aggravated him.I have no answers,many questions& maybe 4 words: Extreme Caution, Radical Compassion