Losing my 90-year-old Nana was always going to be extremely difficult under normal circumstances. But losing her in this way today during this global story compounds the pain.

You can listen to my Nana tell the story of her childhood here:

Nana!

July 2019. Four generations. (Photo credit: Ben)

September 2019. Lunch with Aunt Ruth and Uncle Mike.

August 2016. Just because.

July 2019. Meeting Madeline for the first time. Look at that smile.

August 2019. Pizza on her porch.

August 2019. Jaclyn was with us, too (via mug and video chatting).

November 28, 2019. Nana's 90th birthday and Thanksgiving. We were talking with Jaclyn on the phone all the way from Japan when the birthday cake came out. "Hold on, I have to blow out the candles." (Photo credit: Mommy)

November 28, 2019. Family selfie at the table on Nana's 90th birthday and Thanksgiving.

Love you forever, Nana.

I am overwhelmed *and comforted* by the outpouring of support coming from perfect strangers. I'm sorry that I can't respond to each one. Sharing w/ my family.

I cannot find the words to express my emotions, from the loss, the isolation, the fear, and the love. Thank you.

Time has been acting weird lately. Hard to believe that's it's already been one week this evening that they sent Nana to the hospital, a few hours after I last spoke to her (by phone), but so much has happened since.

Everything is still so surreal. For everyone.

Nana passed away one week ago today. I still cannot comprehend what's happened. I still have not hugged my family.

Cannot wait to be out from under this cloud. I hope humans all treat each other better on the other side.

They buried my Nana today.

None of us was there.

I know Nana would have been OK with this given the nightmare affecting everyone one way or another.

But that doesn't mean we are.

Love you forever and ever, Nana.

I cannot believe it has been three weeks.

Three weeks ago tonight, I was grieving alone.

I was also feeling symptoms for the third day and experiencing chest tightness for the first time. It was scary. I packed a bag in case I had to go to the hospital overnight, knowing staying out of there was the goal.

It was during this moment that I was getting inundated by well wishes from friends as well as total strangers. Hundreds of them were responding to my tweet and writing deeply personal reflections. It was beautiful.

I was petrified and alone but not so lonely that night.

My Nana is included in this Newsday section: https://www.newsday.com/long-island/obituaries/gerda-garbatzky-obituary-1.43782927 https://twitter.com/Newsday/status/1249025683931758594

About to head to a store for the first time since I stocked up on supplies one month ago today, and it's so that I can pick up a few extra copies of Newsday for the obit they did on my Nana.

And I'm scared. To go to the store for the newspaper. https://www.newsday.com/long-island/obituaries/gerda-garbatzky-obituary-1.43782927

I did not expect to get emotional buying a newspaper.

Not sure if it was because my Nana is in it, or just seeing everyone in masks and lines on the floor to keep people separated at checkout... Wow.

I probably should not be admitting this but I called my local pizzeria for delivery today. Can save this food for a nice lunch/dinner for the next week.

For some reason, I cried when placing the order and they told me they are doing well.

I keep crying at the weirdest times.

Just finish my first donation of convalescent plasma at @NYBloodCenter in memory of my Nana and to hopefully help those currently battling this. My blood was a little slow-moving but overall the process was painless.

1/2

Donated convalescent plasma today at
@NYBloodCenter.

The hope is that antibodies in people who beat this can be used to help those still battling. If you tested positive and are now symptom-free, please consider donating: https://www.nybc.org/donate-blood/covid-19-and-blood-donation-copy/convalescent-plasma-covid-19-donor-request-form/

Nana, this is for you.

2/2

Once again, if you tested positive and are now symptom-free, please consider donating your convalescent plasma to help others beat it, too: https://www.nybc.org/donate-blood/covid-19-and-blood-donation-copy/convalescent-plasma-covid-19-donor-request-form/

I posted my video as one clip here: (Twitter had a limit.)

This sunny and warm Saturday keeps triggering thoughts of "I should call Nana and see if she wants me to bring pizza for us to eat outside."

This is exactly the kind of day we'd be doing that.

Finally got to pick up some of Nana's stuff with my mom today. They brought it out to us. (Still on lockdown, of course.)

I really needed this froyo pick-me-up after.

Thank you to NBC News for including my Nana in this "60 lives, 60 days" project.

It's an important reminder that every one of the 50,000+ American deaths was a person with family and friends. https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1255486006419128320

Thank you to @NicolleDWallace and her MSNBC team for including my Nana's story among the three featured as part of "Lives Well Lived" at the end of today's #DeadlineWH.

I lost it when Nicolle asked viewers to think of Nana and the other victims when you see a butterfly.

This response from a total stranger on Twitter warms my heart and provides so much comfort. Thank you for sharing, @lovepatriaworld. https://twitter.com/lovepatriaworld/status/1255604764991086592?s=19

Another amazing response to today's segment. https://twitter.com/CiocMaz73/status/1255631698248769537?s=19

Round 2 of convalescent plasma donation... Done! See you again next week, @NYBloodCenter!

The hospital that took care of my Nana is providing Zoom bereavement group sessions. My mom and I just (separately) took part in one with four others. Helpful being able to talk to others going through similar situations.

Loss is loss. But the lack of closure makes it hurt more.

I'm having trouble processing the fact that we're nearly a week into May already.

Grief is weird. It feels like time stopped on March 16th. Perhaps it is no longer suffocating me but it still feels very recent, very fresh, and very painful. There's also a lack of closure.

Done with Round 3 of convalescent plasma donation at @NYBloodCenter! (I look like that because the employee told me to smile for the camera and I laughed.)

Didn't know it then but two months ago today was the last time I worked in the office and saw my coworkers.

Two months ago today, I spoke to my Nana for the last time. I had no idea there would never be another chat. She went to the hospital a few hours later.

My mom and I just had our third weekly Zoom group bereavement session the hospital has been providing. I never know what to expect but it's always nice to be able to speak to others going through the same lack of closure and hearing from a counselor. Nice to have some routine.

Just completed round 4 of convalescent plasma donation at @NYBloodCenter! Apparently I'm going to bruise this time. Really hoping this helps saves lives.

Just got a call back with my antibodies test result (I was at urgent care for a lung X-ray and got the test just because): Positive. As expected because I had a positive diagnostic test result back on March 15th.

Really hoping the antibodies in my plasma donations help.

Unfortunately I had to cancel my convalescent plasma donation for tomorrow (would have been my fifth) because they don't let you do it when you still have a bruise. But I rescheduled and still plan to do the full eight total!