2 adults working from home in a tiny one bedroom apartment might be the death of my sanity / might need a daily tweet series. This is going to be... interesting.

Day 1: our internet can’t handle two people working/taking calls on it simultaneously. Workout plans turned into drinking. I don’t have enough weed to last the week, no clue the status of TP. Sanity is fleeting already... 4-8 weeks is going to be tough.

(For dramatic effect, all tweets in this thread are to be read in the voiceover voice you hear when someone’s reading a soldier’s letter home from WWI in a movie)

Night 1: “is being quarantined going to end with us being alcoholics?”

Morning of Day 2: woke up optimistic only to see that Tom Brady officially is a free agent. Immediately began googled “what’s the max weight a weighted blanket can be without crushing you?” as I questioned all past life decisions silently for an hour.

Day 2: traded a nip of whiskey for hand sanitizer.

Night two: found out that someone I know has “always wanted to try mud wrestling”.

Morning of Day 3: while watching Ben Gibbard’s @dcfc live stream from yesterday, a plan was hatched to blame the things that are annoying each other in the apartment while WFH on an imaginary coworker. So far, “Carol” is a real dick who doesn’t put her dishes away after breakfast

Day 3: learned that “Carol” also doesn’t put the empty beers they had for lunch in the recycle. Just leaves ‘Em in the sink. Typical Carol move.

Morning of Day 4: woke inexplicably thinking back to when they used to splice in lines from moves into songs on the radio in the 90s. Like... what exec decided “you know what this Springsteen track really needs? Clips from Jerry McGuire dropped in. Really kicks it up a bit”?

Day 4: wifi couldn’t handle two zoom calls simultaneously so I ventured into the wild to find a rogue signal. There were zero people around.

Not even at Dunkin.
This is in Boston, mind you.

These truly are unprecedented times we’re livin’ in, folks.

Day 5: how is this only day 5? I swear to god I started working from home a year ago, and you’re telling me it’s only 5 fucking days?!? Whiskey is running low. One bottle of wine left. Some food, too, but the weed won’t last the week. Not in crisis mode... yet. Getting there tho.

Night 5: I went running. I hate running. I was so bored I thought it was a good idea. It was a stupid idea. I will never believe someone who says they “enjoy running”. I’ll say this now and I’ll say it to anyone’s face: if you like running you’re both a liar and an idiot.

Day 6: I’ve hit the point where I’m so bored that I miss doing drugs. My brain wants me to revert to my early 20s and my body is saying “nah, man - comedowns in your 30s are going to be hell”. Books aren’t the same as bumps, kids. #TheMoreYouKnow

Day 6: went on another run. It is still stupid and I still hate it and stand by my previous statements on the matter. It’s a bullshit activity.

Night 6: FaceTimed with my family. Drank a lot of beers on cam without my mom yelling at me. Apparently this is 32.

Day 7: I’ve resorted to gambling with friends on simulated cpu vs. cpu games of Madden. But not event the most recent Madden - the Madden from 3 yrs ago.

One week down.

Day 8: woke up realizing today is going to be the same as yesterday and the day before and so on. Wondering if this is all some weird fucked up Groundhog Day scenario/ a Phil Connors empathy exercise.

Oh, and we’re in a statewide lockdown for the next 2 weeks, so there’s that.

Day 9: the state goes into lockdown today. Expecting to see super long lines at the grocery store and gas stations.

Also, the Olympics (which was taking place after my wedding) just got delayed till next year, so day 9 = the one where I freak out about my wedding even happening

Morning 9: in other happier news, my breakfast sandwich game is getting to be on fucking point. If this keeps up and we’re stuck indoors for another few weeks, might become one of those annoying “here’s a pic of food I cooked” dbags on IG...

Morning of Day 10: we’ve begun to barter over bacon. I repeat - we’ve begun to barter over bacon. I think “Carol” has something to do with this...

Day 10: remembering now that I impulse bought a guitar yesterday. Funny thing is that I don’t play guitar...

Let’s see what happens first: I learn how to play or my significant other kills me in the apartment.

Morning of Day 11: this morning was a tough wake up, knowing today is gonna be a tough one. No choice but to power through & try to make the best of it.

That said, I’m still wearing the same thing I put on 36 hrs ago/slept in & About to take a zoom meeting. Wish me luck.

Day 11 Afternoon: in effort to get in a better mood, I started looking up puppies online. This led to me looking up dogs for adoption even though our apartment doesn’t allow dogs and now I’m more bummed out then when I initially started this ordeal. This backfired big time.

Night 11: we’ve officially reached the “find out your wife to be bought and WORE an Orlando Bloom Pirates of the Caribbean shirt from hot topic when she was younger” point of quarantine.

Day 12: starting to really need a haircut. It’s to the point where I’d say my hair/beard length combo screams “history teacher who used to play in punk bands and brings it up once a semester in hopes of students thinking I was cool”.

Not my best look to say the least.

Day 13: slept in until 11. Made breakfast. Actively thinking of excuses to not work out today.

Also, this tweet took 15 minutes to come up with and has no actual point/purpose so there’s that.

Night 13: a @robynkonichiwa dance party broke out between the two of us tonight and it made me realize I’m marrying the right human.

Also... we drank all the bourbon.

Night 13: we, as a quarantinteam, are currently mourning the loss of the aforementioned bourbon. We respectfully request privacy during this difficult time, and direct any and all inquiries to @BostonMagazine.

Thank you for your understanding.

Day 14: I filed my taxes and then gambled on a virtual Madden game that cpu vs. cpu (aka no one was actually playing the game.)

I feel like that impeccably sums up what life is right now more than I even fully realize at the moment.

Day 15: well... we survived 2 weeks so that’s good. That’s a thing.

Day 16: feeling like the walls of the apartment are closing in a bit today. Missing the normalcy I took for granted like being able to go to the gym and going outside without being super anxious immediately.

Also, and I never thought I’d ever say this, I miss @dunkindonuts.

Night 16: remembered about the cartoon Street Sharks from when I was a kid

Who in the fuck green lit a show about rollerblading hockey playing sharks living in a city? Were they on ALL of the cocaine? Did they owe someone a favor?

...but for real: how did that get made?!?

Day 17: I’m fucking over all of this and feeling it a lot today. Trying to keep it in perspective since I’m a lot better off than many others right now, but I’m fucking exhausted. Mentally, physically, every way.

It’s crushing seeing my industry & it’s amazing people decimated.

Day 18: we’ve now hit the “fuck it, I’m having coffee and Reese’s cups for breakfast” point of lockdown. We have other traditional breakfast things that I could have but why? Does it even matter anymore? I’m gonna argue nope.

Afternoon 18: do weather reports even matter if no one can leave their apartment/home?

Seems like 2020’s reboot of the old “if a tree falls in the woods...”

Day 19: got not one but two separate by-name shoutouts by the head of my company on an all-staff zoom meeting today which, not gonna lie, was a nice & rad morale boost.

Also, even though every day has felt like a monday, I’ve been told it’s Friday today so that’s pretty sweet.

Day 20: here’s something I never thought I’d say - just spent an hour skating at the skatepark in Allston while wearing a face mask AND WASN’T THE ONLY ONE DOING SO. Fuck yeah, Allston. Good work.

Night 20: “this wine is more of a sipping wine, not a chugging wine” - my future wife

Day 21: needed a change of scenery so we hopped in the car and drove along the coast for a few hours this afternoon. Great mini escape from our weird reality before the city curfew goes into effect tomorrow.

Also, paying less than $20 for a tank of gas didn’t suck either.

Day 22: weird vibes today starting the 4th week of WFH/social distancing, in that while it still is hard to get motivated it’s starting to feel more “normal” than it feels abnormal. Not sure I’m happy about that... can’t really tell.

Is this how Phil felt In Groundhog Day?

Day 23: it’s happened... we’re down to our final roll of toilet paper. Went to 4 stores looking for some and every single one was completely out of paper goods of any king. Shit*.

*pun not entirely intended.

Day 24: woke up with a heavy heart this morning to a world absent of one of its the best storytellers. John Prine is a true American legend & one of the kindest, most genuine people I’ve ever met.

Thanks for the stories, John. Hope you’re enjoying a vodka & ginger ale up there.

Night 24: officially applied to be a contestant on the Legends of the Hidden Temple reboot with one of my training partners tonight.

To say today has been a roller coaster would be an understatement.

Day 25: I’m wearing a full on Groutfit (aka an outfit consisting of all grey items), half of which I slept in last night.

Soooo... That’s where I’m at today. That’s the tweet.

Day 26: dressed up in legit nice clothes today to try and start what I call “Fuckable Fridays”. It’s where, instead of sweatpants & an old tshirt or hockey jersey, you wear what you would on a date or out at a bar so that you’re only a trash person 6 days a week, not the full 7.

Day 26: the day I remembered my dad has a twitter account, which makes the last post more uncomfortable than I’d anticipated.

Night 26: “Alexa... what are the early signs and symptoms of insanity?”

“Alexa... What about depression?”

“Alexa... nah, I’m fine. Play ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine.”

“Alexa... volume 10.”

Day 27: we’re officially at the “play beer pong and ice your fiancé like you’re in college again” point of quarantine.

Day 28: happy Easter y’all! spent my morning making breakfast and doing an Easter egg hunt which, not gonna lie, was more fun than expected... even when my fiancé retuned the favor from last night and iced me back during it.

Forgot how gross those things are. Ugh.

Day 29: today marks the start of the fifth week of quarantine/working from home. Not sure how I feel about it other than I’m not numb to it and I’m not thrilled about it but know I can’t do anything about it. Time to zombie-mode it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Night 29: the fiancé and I spent definitely too large a portion of the night trying crack the other up by randomly yelling “CAROL BASKIN!” in a southern accent at each other.

In related news, it’s apparent this whole quarantine for a month thing is 1000% getting to us. Fuck.

Day 30: didn’t want to get out of bed today. Having a hard time seeing the point some days lately and today is one of those days.

I know I’ve got it a LOT better than others, and I’m in good health, so I’m not complaining but I’m just tired. Mentally, physically, everything.

Night 30: the night where I officially had to cancel my bachelor party.

Is it selfish to be depressed as fuck over this in the grand scheme of things? Yeah, 100% but I am and I’m going to be for a bit so tough shit.

Day 31: our wedding band told us they dont want to play our request of Genuwine’s “Pony” at our wedding because they, and I quote “weren’t super comfortable singing ‘I’m horny, jump on it, ride on my pony’ in front of the guests.”

Favorite email ever?

Today was a good day.

Day 32: Garth Brooks is on my zoom meeting right now and I can’t tell if this is a quarantine-induced hallucination or if it’s part of the “new normal” everyone’s talking about. All I know is that it’s strange.

Day 33: today is the Larry Bird day of quarantine.

That’s the tweet. Not every one can be a gem.

Day 34: 14 bottles of wine were delivered to my apartment today. Over/under on how long it lasts: 10 days.

Personally, I’m taking the under.

Day 35: I’ve reached the “I could probably cut my own hair if I had to” point of quarantine. Not at the point where I’m willing to do it yet, but fearing I’m not too far from it...

Day 36: today is normally my favorite day of the year here, since it’s a State holiday with the marathon, a day game at Fenway, and nhl playoffs at night.

Super weird to have none of those things happening today and have the city be empty on one of the busiest days of the year.

Day 37: bought fancy new running sneakers last week and was stoked for them to show up today. That’s past tense because, even though I haven’t grown in a decade, I apparently still don’t know my correct shoe size.

I guess Operation “Running From My Problems” is on hold for now.

Day 38: since they’ve now deemed #tattoo parlors as able to open in GA, & that the gov is saying it’s fine “if people can social distance” during it, I announce that I’m willing to be the 1st to receive a #SociallyDistancedTattoo from 6ft away. Interested Artists Inquire via DM!

Day 38 (cont.): yes, while I started that last tweet as a joke, by the end of typing I’d fully committed to the #SociallyDistancedTattoo idea & would really do it if an artist wants to get creative & make a point/some history.

Cc: @PinoBrosInk @StingrayBodyArt @BostonTattooCo

Day 39: the proper size running shoes showed up today so I took ‘em for a 4mi test drive earlier. Shoes felt pretty good, but I feel like I died.

Still don’t understand how people enjoy this shit. Running is stupid. I’ll stand by that statement until the day I die.

Day 40: had an unexpected day off thanks to my company proclaiming today as “take a breath day”, which was great.

Donated blood, drove around and visited some friends (from the car), got gifted a J, and now about to pick up tacos & a boatload of @harpoonbrewery.

Not a bad day

Day 41: it’s beautiful out today so I tried the whole running thing again. Decided after a mile that drinking in the sun is a lot more fun than running so I switched gears accordingly.

In related news: I’m bored and tired of pretty much everything. Good times.

Day 42: worked out and hit mitts for an hour today. If you knew how much I ended up drinking last night/how I was feeling when I got up today you’d be as shocked as I was that it happened.

Also, having a 3 day weekend in all of this was amazing. All workweeks should be 4 days.

Day 43: rough one today. These post-weekend cycles are somehow worse during all of this than they were before lockdown. Not sure if that’s the case for everyone but I’m definitely feeling it way more Mondays & Tuesdays.

Day 44:

Day 45: in the last 20 hrs half of my team & around 30% of my company got furloughed, I took a pay cut, and my coffee pot committed suicide.

How’s your day going?

Day 46: so sick of this shit. The good news though is that a bunch of the south is reopening tomorrow meaning that, even though we’ve been doing everything by the book up here, we’ll probably get to do this quarantining bullshit again later in the year!

Oh joy.

Day 47: this week has been the worst one yet, morale-wise. Just metaphorical dick kick after metaphorical dick kick after metaphorical dick kick. Very ready to be done with this one.

Thank fuck it’s Friday.

Day 48: I bought a bowl today, my first one ever actually.

In related news: I’m too old to be buying bowls. Fuck.

Day 49: went out to my parents place and hung out on the porch from afar. Equal parts great to see them and weird to be hanging out across the room from each other and wearing masks.

Weird times we’re in, folks. Weird, weird times.

Day 50: figured today was as good as any to start rewatching The Mandalorian. Somehow it’s more awesome the second time through.

Day 51: Cinco de Mayo in quarantine is going to lead to one thing and one thing only - getting sloppy drunk on tequila at my apartment while pretending I were at a bar in my early 20s. Will my clothes come off? Who knows, but if they do at least I won’t get kicked out.

Day 52: ironically not only did I keep my clothes on last night but I went one step further and passed out in them.

Judge me all you want but I’m framing that as a win.

Also, it’s like a billion friend’s b-days today. I guess August was prime bangin’ times back in the day?

Day 53: the one where @marcrebillet gave me hope for the first time in weeks that the festival/touring industry is gonna get through all this madness by announcing a tour of exclusively drive-ins as venues. LOVE the concept, can’t wait to see what he’s able to pull off

Day 54: woke up with a hangover but didn’t drink at all yesterday...

Pretty sure quarantine is just fucking with me for sport at this point.

Day 55: we’ve officially hit the “take edibles at noon because fuck it, what else is there to do?” phase of quarantine.

Let’s have a day, y’all.

Day 56: edibles day was a roaringly lazy success yesterday. As for today, I found out that my other half apparently dreams in only black and white so, ironically, that’s got my brain in a pretzel as if I took an edible.

Go figure.

Day 57: rewatched @Justin_Gaethje’s fight from Saturday this morning and my mind is blown at how crisp and absurdly heavy his punches were the whole fight. Haven’t been more inspired/wanted to be back training with my sparring partners in months.

Fuck, I miss fighting right now

Day 58: mentally and physically exhausted. Tired of every day being the same for 2 months straight, tired of being stressed out/fearful of losing my job, tired of my apt serving as my home/office/coworking space/gym... tired of it all today.

Proof? I sent this while still in bed

Day 59: took a break from the stress of our small downtown apartment to work (while still socially distancing) from my family’s house for a few days. Just being away from people & being able to work outdoors is more refreshing than I was expecting.

Much more needed than expected

Day 60: today is a sad one, as tonight I was supposed to be cornering 4 of my fighters for their first sanctioned boxing matches in front of their hometown crowds. Instead the bouts have been postponed indefinitely. Gutted for the guys and all their hard work the last few months.

Day 61: another bummer of a day - today woulda been my bachelor party in Chicago. Instead of staying bummed I’m gonna focus on how, a year ago today, I won a boxing match in my hometown in front of 1,800 people at House of Blues. Possibly the best night/feeling of my whole life.

Night 61: in normal times I would have been with a bunch of friends drinking and betting on Turtle Racing in some bar in Chicago right now. Instead I’m chilling at home by myself watching Stop Making Sense right now.

Life is fucking weird right now.

Day 62: missing seeing friends. Missing doing things. Missing going to shows. Missing travel.

Missing normalcy.

Day 63: I’ve been told today is a Sunday and, considering I’m not sure how time works anymore, I’ve got no reason to believe otherwise.

Day 64: 4 day work week this week followed by a 4 day weekend...

Live look at my internal dialogue the next 4 days:

Night 64: we’re teetering perilously close to the “should I bleach my hair during all this? I mean, why not? I might as well” phase of quarantine, y’all...

Day 65: idk what’s happening today. Am I motivated? Am I lethargic? Am I tired? Am I awake? Is it the weekend? Does the Mandalorian have to take off all his armor to go to the bathroom or does he have trap doors built in? Did I drink enough coffee?

All big questions to ponder.

Day 66: I’m burnt out. Straight up burnt out, and that’s not a weed reference.

Really hoping this weekend recharges me a bit, considering the L’s I’ve been taking the last 2 weeks. A win would be solid right about now.

Day 67: 6 hrs. I need to make it through 6 more hours of work and then it’s a 4 day weekend.

Today is gonna be rough.

Afternoon 67: if you show up on a zoom call dressed nicely, all made up, & have your hair done impeccably - fuck you.

We’re like 10 weeks into being locked in our houses that are now also our office and gym. If you’re not wearing a tshirt, hoodie, or sweats I don’t trust you.

Day 68: today is weird. It’s the first time in 7 years that im not running a festival box office during Memorial Day weekend. Idk what to do with myself.

Day 69: we’ve officially hit the “give yourself a haircut” phase of quarantine. Amazingly, it looks alright... I think.

Night 69: Nice.

Day 70:

Day 71: back in the city for a few days and thinking how 3 day weekends all summer should be mandatory this year.

Also thinking about the barely touched pint of ice cream I mistakenly left in the burbs. I’ll come back for you, @benandjerrys pint... one day I’ll come back.

Day 72: went to my physical this afternoon that was scheduled 6 months ago & confirmed last Thursday only to be told “oh that got cancelled Friday afternoon”. Also, couldn’t schedule a new appointment because “they don’t know when the next available will be”/could be another 6mo

Day 73: starting to wonder when to ramp this thread down. The closer I get to Day 100 the more bummed out I get. Pretty sure I haven’t been clever since somewhere around day 45...

We’ll see what happens I guess.

Day 74: I have bequeathed today’s tweet to my better half, who has decided to use that power to state the following - “Riley is full of shit.”

Her words, not mine.

Day 75: had a dream/nightmare last night that Henry Rollins died and, I’m not gonna lie, it kind of fucked my morning up. Happy to say that, after significant googling, Henry Rollins is very much alive and well.

Thank fuck.

Day 76: it’s beautiful outside today so I’m gonna try and stay off the twitter machine for a bit.

Day 77: my heart hurts. To everyone protesting in Boston tonight, please look out for one another. Be safe.

Day 78: the rioting here came 2 blocks from my house last night. The sounds of teargas canisters and helicopters sountracked my night. Shaken up mentally a bit TBH.

That said, These protests need to happen. Change needs to happen. The Looting of small local businesses does not.

Day 79: to all my friends who are people of color, to all those marching both in our city and around the world to affect positive change, I want you to know this - I see you. I am here to listen to you, stand with you, and support you. I want you to know I love you. All of you.

Day 80: #TheShowMustBePaused

Day 81: the constant sound of helicopters overhead these last few days and the knowledge that there’s 50-100 military hummers w/gun turrets and troops of standby parked 4 blocks from my door is beyond unnerving. I can’t focus, I can’t think, and I’m freaked out.

Day 82: hard to think of something funny today with everything going on. I’m trying to think of a witty quip but what is there to joke about when you’ve got peaceful protesters & reporters getting beat the fuck up & military stationed block from me. Idk... it doesn’t feel right

Day 83: the temperature is the same number as the day today, and my apartment doesn’t have AC. I’m sweating at the thought of moving let alone actual movement.

Day 85: The day where, for some reason, I woke up barely able to walk. 2020 man... one perpetual dick kick after another of varied intensity.

Night 85: got word that one of my favorite relatives, and one of the legitimate funniest people I’ve ever know, passed away today due to Covid. I didn’t even know they were sick & Im not even sure I’ve processed it, TBH.

I’ll miss you, Bobby. Thanks for all the laughs.

Day 86: a bit numb today still. Nothing clever here today.

Day 87: actually starting to make some progress on learning to play that guitar I impulse bought a few months back when this shit all started. Today’s challenge - fuck around and try to learn this little ditty by ‘Ol Wheeler.

Day 88: somehow my cell number ended up on Craigslist on listing about a boat being for sale and I keep getting contacted by random potential boat-buyers.

I don’t own a boat.

It’s been a weird morning to say the least.

Day 89: [intentionally omitted]

Day 90: Man these last six days were a long year. Stoked for a mental break this weekend.

Day 91: fuck it. I’ma learn how to ride a motorcycle this weekend because why the hell not.

Afternoon 91: my motorcycle instructor’s fly has been down the entire lesson so far today and I don’t think anyone has the heart to tell him and blow up his spot. I wanna give him the heads up but also don’t wanna be that guy... it’s a real catch 22.

Night 91: made it through my first day on a motorcycle without crashing or even coming close which, considering I don’t know shit about shifting a manual engine, I’m calling a win.

Also, the instructor figured out the fly situation so props to him.

Day 92: I don’t know which was a bigger surprise today - passing the road test & getting my motorcycle license after 10hrs of lifetime riding or seeing what appeared to be a rubber vagina (presumably a used one at that) next to the gas pump while filling up my car.

Close call.

Day 94: seeing pics and vids of idiots in TX at a full blown GA floor concert (none of whom are wearing a mask) & realizing that they’re the people who are going to make it so my segment of the live industry doesn’t come back for 2+ yrs.

That’s not rebellion: it’s selfishness.

Day 95: the one where I found out I’ve had a partially torn MCL and can’t afford to fix it. Gotta love pay cuts and the American health insurance system

Day 96: I can’t believe Quarantine is coming up on 100 days... crazy.

Almost as crazy as the fact that the cops that murdered #BreonnaTaylor STILL haven’t been arrested/charged. #JusticeForBreonnaTaylor

Day 97: it’s hot as shit outside.

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

Day 99: spent a great Father’s Day with a great man who had a great son if I may say so myself. Solid day all around.

Also... props to the significant other for driving back to the city since I’m in no shape to be behind the wheel of anything

Day 100 : today is day 100 since the world all kind of went to shit. Things are weird to say the least. The country is as on edge I’ve ever seen in my life, and it seems like we’re just floating adrift in open water most days. These last 100 days have been hard... 1/5

Day 100 (cont.): from furloughs and pay cuts to bachelor party cancellations and wedding postponements to rioting down my street to losing people I care about to COVID, the lows have been fucking low at times. But the truth is that it’s also been a period of growth. 2/5

Day 100 (cont.): I’ve learned to appreciate what I have and where I am more than I used to. I’ve learned to be mindful of my actions’ affect on others (thanks to living/working in a shared tiny 1br apartment). & feel thankful to have such an amazing partner through all this. 3/5

Day 100 (cont.): I learned to ride a motorcycle, learned how much I despise running, how important live music really is to me, & how much the friendship of good people can strengthen you in times of need.

I’ve also learned how toxic too much time on this platform can be... 4/5

Day 100 (cont.): ...which is why I’m deciding to end this thread on Day 100 and instead try to focus on the good things the next few months.

Was this worth it? Not sure, but it is a true snapshot of a crazy time in my life.

Be safe & look out for each other, y’all

(Fin.)