Thread by @notfolu, oh no :( i’m going :( to be :( forced into :( [...]

oh no :(
i’m going :(
to be :(
forced into :(
socially distancing :(
myself into :(
writing a cookbook :(

okay this is just going to be social distancing/ self-quarantine/stay the fuck home and make light work of well stocked pantry via #humblebragdiet thread

made the earl grey yogurt cake but substituted the earl grey for 2tbsp hibiscus tea, 2 tsp orange zest and 1tsp cinnamon, then topped it with a cinnamon orange glaze AND powdered sugar because why not #humblebragdiet #quarantinecake

yesterday’s hibiscus+orange+cinnamon cake toasted in butter and served with cardamom+vanilla roasted strawberries and whole milk greek yogurt #humblebragdiet

finally making the waffles that I forced myself to get out of bed and go to the store for yesterday (yes this is my cheap vanilla, I tend to keep no less than 4 different types in the house for different occasions) #humblebragdiet

vanilla waffles, applewood smoked stabilized whipped cream*, vanilla cardamom roasted strawberries #humblebragdiet

*had a bit of the swiss buttercream I made with applewood smoked butter in the freezer, whipped it into some heavy cream and added a bit of powdered sugar

you can never make a grilled cheese look as good as it tastes but cider braised sweet potato and pork loin chops, québécois cheese curds, triple cheddar cheese blend & pickled jalapeños on sourdough was a good combo #humblebragdiet

I ate gushers for dinner tonight but I also did also do mental pantry deep dive to figure out a bunch of possible (simple) meals that I may or may not make and baking projects that I might be able to scrounge up enough motivation to do #humblebragdiet

checking in with another hit from my go-to food category of “stuff in a bowl and also a yogurt sauce”

salmon (salt+pepper +lemon), riced broccoli, wild rice, @PenzeysSpices green goddess mixed into yogurt #humblebragdiet

I have made a maple peanut butter caramel and want to find a way to get it into the malted black cocoa cookie dough that is currently in my fridge. A problem for tomorrow #humblebragdiet

a few quarantine baking tips

-scrape down the sides of the bowl when you’re mixing ingredients
-cut that recipe in half or freeze half the batch right after baking
-control the temp of your ingredients and your baking environment
-measure by weight instead of by volume

here is a needlessly dramatic picture of the maple peanut butter caramels before they were tucked away inside of the cookie dough #humblebragdiet

my default is always mini cookies( we’re going

snackability) malted black cocoa cookies filled with maple peanut butter caramels #humblebragdiet

my default is always mini cookies( we’re going snackability) malted black cocoa cookies filled with maple peanut butter caramels #humblebragdiet

i’ve been following too many korean aesthetic beverage insta accounts and had to make dalgona (whipped) coffee but also it’s Friday so I added Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal milk and Old Overholt rye #humblebragdiet

to be fair I attempted to start making tik tok content months ago but it never stuck but now that’s where my sped up dula peep Cinnamon Toast Crunch dalgona cocktail #humblebragdiet content lives now

I went through an entire bag of frozen meatballs this week as the bulk of my “i’m like...disengaged from reality, maybe I should eat ” meals so I’m making some from scratch right now but only using sausage because I really never buy ground beef. Also I’m adding mushrooms?

sorry but these mushroom & garlic sausage meatballs are making my apartment smell so good that I truly want to die #humblebragdiet

everyone is obsessing over sourdough and i’m just over here looking at pictures of shokupan before bed

I think this started out as a supreme pizza shakshuka and ended up being more “stuff I like in tomato sauce “- plum tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, mushrooms, olives, sausage+mushroon meatballs, peppered salami, mozz, eggs #humblebragdiet

saw the idea of “dalgona matcha” floating around internet but the recipes were lies, so I made my own- vanilla cardamom strawberry milk, dalgona fluffy matcha #humblebragdiet

okay re: fluffy dalgona matcha-it’s literally just a soft meringue (normal ratios of 1/3 cup sugar for every egg white) whipped until it gets glossy and holds soft peaks with matcha powder folded into it (1tbsp per egg white) https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244333041079681025?s=21 #humblebragdiet https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244333041079681025

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244333041079681025?s=21

you can also follow @eythink’s (genius) idea and make it with aquafaba if you are rationing eggs/are vegan/are too lazy to separate whites and yolks! https://twitter.com/eythink/status/1244349966664990720?s=21 https://twitter.com/eythink/status/1244349966664990720

https://twitter.com/eythink/status/1244349966664990720?s=21

making a 5 day pizza dough so that I have courage/motivation to
-leave my house and go to the store for the first time in 2 weeks to buy good cheese
-make the spinach pesto I’ve been putting off making
-....not get dominos as my first delivery meal of the social distancing era

real “i’m making a 5 day cold ferment pizza dough so I have something to look forward to in 5 days” hours

(also, useful tip re: small space kitchens, I use a giant cutting board over my sink/stove as a prep space cuz I have no counters) #humblebragdiet

I woke up from an anxiety dream before 5AM and did the laziest quick pickle of some carrots that were languishing in my fridge. Real pickling terrifies me because Nigerians are too naturally lax with food safety for it to seem feasible #humblebragdiet

the recipe I used called for a double rise and that was a mistake because this dough is overproooooooofed https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244820619029610497?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244820619029610497

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244820619029610497?s=21

I don’t think my oven gets hot enough to make great non-pan pizza also I portioned this recipe SO weirdly. it was still good tho (5 day cold ferment pizza dough, crushed plum tomatoes, mozz, parm, provolone, ugly ripped basil) #humblebragdiet

okay, a much prettier pizza on this dough that has now been uh...cold fermenting in my fridge for 7 days lol. Fresh mozz+cheddar+parm and peppered salami #humblebragdiet

made another #dalgonacoffee but this time no booze. instead it’s cinnamon almond* milk, fluffy dalgona coffee and honey vanilla whipped cream #humblebragdiet

*almond extract flavor not non-dairy milk, I don’t love milk but I do not have enough room in my fridge for alt milk!

yesterday’s coffee in motion- almond & cinnamon flavored milk, fluffy #dalgona coffee, honey vanilla whipped cream #humblebragdiet

is it breakfast for dinner if your first meal of the day is at 5PM? black pepper buttermilk biscuits, rolled eggs with cheddar jack in the middle, bacon fat mushrooms and last weeks quick-pickled carrots on the side #humblebragdiet

whipped up a batch of sugar cookie dough that seems promising because I had trouble not sitting down with a spoon and eating the whole batch raw before it even makes it into the oven #humblebragdiet

I should stop working thru lunch/start working from my actual desk instead of the couch and yet.....

mozz, feta & basil white pizza, sparkling honey limeade #humblebragdiet

tweaked @BraveTart’s very very good sugar cookie recipe ( https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/12/soft-and-chewy-sugar-cookie-recipe.html)
-double the vanilla
-skip the nutmeg
-add 1/2 tsp almond extract
-replace 1/5 of the flour (by weight) with almond flour #humblebragdiet

leaned on a pantry staple (canned corned beef hash) but added some sweet potatoes, bell peppers, onions and a fried egg so it felt a bit more filling and fresh and less like the lingering threat of gout #humblebragdiet

as a person who often spends 7-10 days on baking projects, I feel like the ease/novelty trafeoff of #dalgona coffee is super appealing to me? it’s so cute and also it takes no effort (pls note the #acnh

soundtrack) #humblebragdiet

a saturday blessing via double fried honey sambal wings #humblebragdiet

might fuck around and make my first pasta of the quarantine era

did not make pasta but I did make some maple black pepper sweet potatoes on whole milk yogurt with a maple sesame drizzle and sesame seeds that I should’ve toasted but honestly I’m just too lazy to do so #humblebragdiet

making tacos with a porterhouse tomorrow because that’s whats in my freezer and also because I need a cut deserving of the effort it will take for me to make bacon fat tortillas from scratch

also batched two cocktails for the freezer because I still do not have an ice cube tray lmao

oof this steak is hammmmmmered (they can’t all be winners) but the bacon fat tortillas, pickled carrot+red onion+cilantro+garlic+jalapeño slaw, and roasted mushrooms still delivered, hibiscus mezcal+aperol to wash it all down #humblebragdiet

saved some of the dough from the bacon fat tortillas and stuffed the dough with cheese and made like a....paratha? adjacent flatbread, it was a good decision

what good is a personal brand if it doesn’t inspire you to make mcrib knockoffs by baking up fluffy cemita buns and slow roasting spare ribs till the bones fall out and topping them with pickled jalapeños and red onions to eat while drinking a single malt? #humblebragdiet

have I written down a single recipe? no
am I enthused by the concept of continuing to feed myself? also no
will I cook any of these things that I based my grocery list on? we’ll see

going full midwestern and making a blackberry brandy old fashioned jam, but using this trash brandy that I received from a booze delivery mixup nearly a year ago and still have not even opened #humblebragdiet

errr yes, this is a normal time of night to be putting a cake in the oven...orange vanilla almond cake #humblebragdiet

angostura bitters but make it swiss buttercream (angostura honey buttercream) #humblebragdiet

I make giant cakes because they are easier and more structurally sound. also because I am terrible at trimming cake layers so I just weigh out the batter for my layers and stack em’. making a smaller cake was actually kinda hard? #humblebragdiet

baked up a blackberry brandy old fashioned #quarantinecake (like 60% smaller than my usual cakes) for a friend’s birthday
- @AngosturaHouse angostura bitters & honey swiss buttercream
-blackberry brandy old fashioned jam
-orange vanilla almond cake

#humblebragdiet

blackberry brandy old fashioned cake packed up and ready to be delivered to a fellow wholigan

#humblebragdiet

it’s a rainy Friday and the only thing I’m thinking about is making Mac & Cheese and then getting into bed and staying there until like February 2021

U know what time it is #humblebragdiet

before the oven #humblebragdiet

I probably should’ve added more cheese on top but you can still literally hear this take my breath away lmaooo #humblebragdiet

turns out spatchcocking a chicken without kitchen shears is hard (not impossible) but i’d still die for this miso honey butter roast chicken with leeks and mushrooms (even if I did burn it) #humblebragdiet

obviously, I need more alliums so I whipped up some scallion cheddar biscuits to go with the roast chicken #humblebragdiet

yes, i’m staying up to watch the last dance

yes, I’m keeping that energy and baking a pie after roasting a chicken AND baking biscuits earlier cuz I am that bitch

took a hoosier pie recipe and added lotsa matcha. now it’s cooling overnight (i’ll make it prettier, I promise) #humblebragdiet

here’s 20 seconds of me topping this matcha custard hoosier pie with dehydrated strawberry powdered sugar #humblebragdiet

another day, another leftovers grilled cheese: kewpie mayo on shokupan, cheddar & muenster, miso honey butter chicken, schmaltzy leeks & mushrooms, bacon and also the only good kale salad ( @meimeiboston style)with togarashi panko & feta #humblebragdiet

grabbed a fresh batched mixer from one of my favorite bars (blossom bar in Brookline) and blended half with ice and half with frozen pineapple. The mixer has guava, mint tea, lime and mascarpone #humblebragdiet

yesterday I was trying to make toasted sugar ala @BraveTart but I fucked it up, panicked and added heavy cream, vanilla and instant coffee to the melting sugar and made caramel that tastes EXACTLY like a Starbucks Frappuccino but idk what to do with it?? #humblebragdiet

saw @local__celeb making a tuna melt so I had to make a tuna melt

shokupan, tonno, pickled jalapeños + carrots, capers,mustard,lemon zest, kewpie mayo,cheddar,red onions #humblebragdiet

by thee way, all my food content lives on my insta and in my stories, so follow me there http://instagram.com/notfolu #humblebragdiet

channeling japanese bar food with a tonkatsu sando with a fried panko pork cutlet, tonkatsu-ish sauce, shredded cabbage on shokupan and a grapefruit, calpico &soju cocktail #humblebragdiet

put way too much spinach into this quiche and ended up with some sort of egg adjacent spinach pie? anyway, it still goes off #humblebragdiet

feeling like I’m in dire need of the emotional catharsis that only comes from crying into an incredibly complicated pastry project when I inevitably fuck up #humblebragdiet

aaaaaaabsolutely reaching like a chopped contestant and making a cheater risotto recipe with uh...sushi rice

okay so MAYBE I’d definitely get chopped for this sushi rice asparagus (not)risotto but it tastes very good #humblebragdiet

cheesy asparagus (not)risotto, a little bit of reverse sear strip steak and a campari riff on a spumoni cocktail #humblebragdiet

making this today! gonna fuck it up probably! but also gonna use this mold that I got as a gift years ago but I was too afraid to use it https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1258247328760283136

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1258247328760283136

when I said I was going to make an entremet, what I really meant was that I was going to make it over the course of two weeks cuz I lack motivation

anyway, I made a whipped white chocolate ganache with smoked maldon that I’m struggling not to eat with a spoon #humblebragdiet

fuck it, sparkling lemonade with dalgona coffee foam

didn’t expect this to work as well as it did but we’ve got a contender for a new favorite in the beverage rotation (and a dupe for the la colombe coffee shandy) #humblebragdiet https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1260256828451172352

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1260256828451172352

had my favorite type of quarantine dinner- prep for tomorrow’s dinner instead of an actual meal (pizza dough for detroit style pizza)

I was going to order dominos but instead I spent two days making detroit style pizza with spicy calabrese, provolone, mozz and san marzanos on top. #humblebragdiet

it is incredibly risky for me to prepare breakfast because I have just shy of zero motivation each day

but I took some of the leftover detroit style pizza dough and made a lil’ breakfast pizza with green onions, cherry tomatoes, fennel salami and an egg #humblebragdiet

and yes this is absolutely the only meal I’m preparing today, I am going to do some dishes and get into bed

trynna manage leftovers/pantry scraps so stale rosemary focaccia becomes parm crusted savory french toast, sad kale gets sautéed with garlic then some burst cherry tomatoes &a fried egg bring it all together (frozen pineapple, coconut &amaro cocktail in the glass) #humblebragdiet

I caved and made ANOTHER detroit style pizza but only because I still had leftover dough and also because my brain was begging for a crumb of serotonin

homemade coconut lime soda with aperol in the glass

#humblebragdiet

I drank like 5 of these today and each one was better than the last (especially once I discovered it works just as well with a bit of gin) #humblebragdiet

I’m in the midst of watching a mirror glaze experiment mousse cake slowly fall apart but at least the leftover glaze in the drip pan looks cool #humblebragdiet

okay remember this insane recipe? I actually attempted a cake based on it (over 2 wks)

here’s what the @valrhonausa strawberry mousse cake looked like when I took it out of the freezer and unmolded it! it’s super cool & I’m proud of it #humblebragdiet

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1257073520011599874?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1257073520011599874

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1257073520011599874?s=21

I attempted to glaze the cake & one corner collapsed (

) but it still looks cute imo
@valrhonausa inspiration strawberry mousse, grapefruit mandarin campari curd,salted white chocolate ganache with smoked maldon and rice krispy crunch, mandarin vanilla cake #humblebragdiet

I attempted to glaze the cake & one corner collapsed () but it still looks cute imo @valrhonausa inspiration strawberry mousse, grapefruit mandarin campari curd,salted white chocolate ganache with smoked maldon and rice krispy crunch, mandarin vanilla cake #humblebragdiet

ok I finally made some fucking quarantine pasta*

creamy sausage +riced broccoli pasta with fennel seed+ garlic and spiced sorrel syrup with blood orange liqueur+ seltzer in the glass #humblebragdiet

(*I made mac & cheese but that doesn’t count imo)

went through the entire two week process required for me to make this cake in my insta story, if you’re curious http://instagram.com/notfolu

(could I have done it quicker than that? no, quar has robbed me of motivation okay?) #humblebragdiet https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1262174209494712321

absolute clutch move for these leftovers was saving my pasta water in the fridge so I could reheat the pasta and have the sauce emulsify again https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1262505761957167107?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1262505761957167107

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1262505761957167107?s=21

fully content with my decision to make buns and rolls instead of loaves of bread during quar

@kingarthurflour amish potato rolls made with sweet potato #humblebragdiet

I also took half of the batch of sweet potato amish bread dough and made cinnamon rolls with vanilla mocha caramel and brown sugar rye cream cheese frosting #humblebragdiet

putting 48 hours into a single meal? thats quar babey

• @kingarthurflour sweet potato amish buns
•kewpie mayo
•la frieda 80/20 burger
•peach tomato jam
•buttermilk onion straws
•beef fat sweet potatoes w/sambal
frozen brandy & mezcal penicillin in the glass #humblebragdiet

I can’t believe it took me this long to hit the I have to bake rolls (KAF sweet potato Amish rolls) and make ketchup (peach tomato jam) from scratch cuz I want a burger portion of quar...but here’s one more pic to celebrate the occasion #humblebragdiet

summer might be canceled but this is a perfect lazy MDW meal

turkey with pepper jack, peach &tomato aioli, heirloom tomato, bacon, dijon, buttermilk onion straws on toasted white

ginger orange juice with blackstrap rum in the glass #humblebragdiet

rolled out of bed and put these in the oven as I got ready/to outrun the clock on when I absolutely murk my apartment temp by using the oven on an 80 degree day https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1265118323790020608?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1265118323790020608

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1265118323790020608?s=21

luv to outrun the existential ennui of tuesday feeling like a Monday by making breakfast sandwich mini hand pies with scrambled eggs, roasted sweet potatoes, bacon, onion, colby jack & mozz

muddled strawberry and ginger seltzer in the glass #humblebragdiet

one of my most correct opinions is that box mix brownies are almost always better than making them from scratch, especially if you add a layer of white chocolate cream cheese ganache and accidentally underbake them so you’re essentially left with fudge #humblebragdiet

took the extra bacon, egg,cheese &sweet potato filling from the hand pies I made yesterday and made some stuffed buttermilk biscuits, then blended up a cucumber watermelon agua fresca #humblebragdiet

it’s wild that I’ve been having a rough enough time that I couldn’t even bully myself into feeling better by cooking/baking but whatever, i’m still attempting homemade dunkaroos cuz I got a pack of the 2020 relaunched dunkaroos and they are trash and bad snacks are antiblack

okay so boom, a big thing new dunkaroos got wrong was the cookie. original dunkaroos had a more graham cracker adjacent cookie, but issa pandemic& graham flour is expensive so I made tiny brown sugar cinnamon graham cookies using graham cracker crumbs w/ AP flour #humblebragdiet

the dunkaroo frosting easily sucked 10x more than canned frosting(which honestly, can be good) so I made a swiss buttercream with two types of vanilla (clear vanilla+ mexican vanilla) and almond extract to hit that funfetti flavor and added nonpareils for color #humblebragdiet

put it all together for homemade dunkaroos (or a bougie approximation of the experience)
•brown sugar cinnamon graham cookies
•double vanilla funfetti frosting
#humblebragdiet

I also saved a bit of the brown sugar cinnamon graham cookie dough, rested it overnight and added marshmallows and scharffen berger chocolate chunks to make s’mores cookies #humblebragdiet

please enjoy this homemade dunkaroos asmr content (brown sugar cinnamon graham cookies, double vanilla funfetti buttercream) #humblebragdiet

I have absolutely overshot how far I can push my kitchen in chase of some sort of solitary moment of peace and I am left with no motivation and two sauces for a lasagna that I cannot bring myself to assemble tonight

okay I made the lasagna and more importantly *finally* used the bag of spinach in my freezer that I bought the week before quar when I thought we wouldn’t be able to buy vegetables lol #humblebragdiet

I also wrote out the recipe for the homemade dunkaroos I made the other day (brown sugar graham cookies and double vanilla funfetti frosting)

if you cannot read my haunted victorian ghost child handwriting that is your problem and not mine #humblebragdiet

I have eaten this lasagna every day for a week and I am somehow SAD that is is GONE. I had it for breakfast a couple of times lol https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1270108736296759303?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1270108736296759303

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1270108736296759303?s=21

had a plan to make some sort of carrot gallette and my original idea to use mascarpone was fucked by the fact that mascarpone goes bad 45 seconds after its opened so I made a burned honey Greek yogurt custard instead? I have zero clue if it will work tho lmaoo #humblebragdiet

this is so good, easily one of the most satisfying things i’ve eaten in a while- freeform carrot galette with roasted black pepper carrots, burnt honey greek yogurt custard& toasted pistachios, brushed with burnt honey butter to finish it off #humblebragdiet

it’s a billion degrees out so I kept it simple, salt & pepper shrimp with garlic, jalapeños, windowsill scallions and rice

watermelon juice, mint tea syrup, lime and vodka in the glass #humblebragdiet

recreated the applebee’s quesadilla burger at home & kept it realistically unphotogenic lol

homemade bacon fat tortillas, cheddar jack cheese, chipotle ranch sauce, jalapeño pico, crumbled bacon, jalapeño burger

crema de mezcal, lime, guava & mint in the glass #humblebragdiet

also to recreate the applebee’s experience, I ate half and I am so full that I want to d*e

felt like today was a good time to break my “I don’t make pie crust cuz the work vs. reward ratio is fundamentally flawed” rule.....in my apartment without air conditioning

unfortunately making pie crust from scratch is actually worth it when you riff on @BraveTart’s peach galette recipe by adding tajin and mezcal to peaches and bake it in a crust that can withstand an 84 degree day and come out of the oven shatteringly crisp #humblebragdiet

spicy peach galette with @TajinUSA & mezcal filling, @BraveTart easy pie crust and savory ginger whipped cream (heavy cream steeped with blended ginger overnight) #humblebragdiet

made katsu over the weekend cuz it’s magical how well it freezes and reheats if you throw it in the oven, making it possible to pull together a fresh tonkatsu sando while you’re in the middle of a conference call #humblebragdiet

anyway, every recipe for katsu is like “compress the sandwich before serving” but I feel like it just leaves me with smooshed bread every time and I forget that until my bread is smooshed

made a sumac spiced carrot curd? like I took a lemon curd recipe and just used carrot juice/purée? I didn’t need to make this but it was more successful than I expected it to be lmaoooo #humblebragdiet

a productive cooking day/no dirty dishes
- milk bread loaf/rolls
- cardamom roasted strawberry galette with rosewater sugar crust
-potato, onion, cabbage & kielbasa hash

here’s some underproofed milk bread scraps filled w/ milk tea jam brought home from japan #humblebragdiet

had a moment of nostalgia for the frantic early quar energy of the dalgona trend and transformed the flavors of my cardamom strawberry milk with dalgona matcha into a cardamom roasted strawberry galette with rosewater sugar crust and matcha whipped cream #humblebragdiet https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244333041079681025

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1244333041079681025

do I dislike baking bread or do I just resent it cuz I know I’d get eliminated during bread week on GBBO

(overworked unevenly proofed milk bread) #humblebragdiet

seems like it might be time to do this again https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1260657249912930304?s=20

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1260657249912930304?s=20

it’s detroit style pizza night (feat. a reminder that I do all this cooking& baking in a kitchen without counters and use cutting boards as prep surfaces) #humblebragdiet

dinner last night and breakfast today: detroit style pizza with pepperoni, muenster, jack, mozz and san marzano sauce.

dassai 45 sake from @tippsysake in the glass #humblebragdiet

truly surprised to learn that you can in fact make incredible french toast sticks by combining egg whites, peanut butter, cinnamon and that last bit milk that will go bad by tomorrow and leaving stale bread to soak during a conference call you almost missed #humblebragdiet

I can’t believe that you ghouls and your anti-cake discourse have led me to this point #humblebragdiet

made some charred scallion compound butter with my quarantine window scallions and then roasted some cherry tomatoes in it and it doesn’t look like much i’m a human heart eyes emoji r/n #humblebragdiet

definitely chugging some dumb bitch juice (it’s 88 degrees and I just put this shiso vanilla cake in the oven) #humblebragdiet

pitching my realistic cooking show where I do things like bake one component of a cake then realize that I’m sorta tired and want to take a two hour nap before getting up to do the next step while watching the OC on my laptop using a shared HBO Max password

just realized that this thread broke a month ago, what the fuck https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1284899922442096640?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1284899922442096640

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1284899922442096640?s=21

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https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287003196754481158?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287003196754481158

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287003196754481158?s=21

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287874567990435841?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287874567990435841

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1287874567990435841?s=21

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1288621224759906305?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1288621224759906305

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1288621224759906305?s=21

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1290696436972232706?s=21 https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1290696436972232706

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1290696436972232706?s=21

there’s probably something willfully obtuse about the way that I’ve decided to only share handwritten recipes but i’m just gonna roll with it

-roasted cardamom strawberry galette with matcha whipped cream #humblebragdiet

reviews are in

I still have 5/8 of my shiso vanilla cake in the freezer but I have been thinking about this nonstop

Did an interview with For The Culture Magazine ( @ForTheCultureM1) over on their insta where I talked about food and cooking and how years of my parents telling me “there is rice at home” inspired #humblebragdiet https://www.instagram.com/p/CDj3ZCFjIVf/?igshid=1l8ndy83iipim

editorial note that I need to start doing some quarantine cocktails content because I counted how many bottles of booze were on my bar cart the other day and there were THIRTY THREE because I haven’t been drinking that much in quar

had to clean off the bar cart so I decided to take a family photo https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1293023453050789888

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1293023453050789888

made a spreadsheet about it

yesterday I drank 1/4 of an energy drink at 8PM and made pie dough+ jam and this morning I’m cooling down my cutting board with ice pops so my pie dough doesn’t melt when I roll it out (for pop tarts). never forget that chaotic energy is the secret ingredient of #humblebragdiet

in this house we occasionally oversweeten the jam for our sweet pop tarts and make savory breakfast pop tarts instead (ham, pickled jalapeños, eggs that I put too much black pepper into, muenster) #humblebragdiet

ham & egg & muenster cheese & pickled jalapeños tucked away in a nice flaky crust and topped with knockoff spicy bagel seasoning (garlic & onion powder, red pepper flakes, sesame seeds) ....like a breakfast sandwich but better #humblebragdiet

ok ok ok, one last photo of the savory ham, egg, muenster and pickled jalapeño pop tarts because they’re just very cute and photogenic #humblebragdiet

i’m a such a sucker for a *soft* sandwich. soft bread, soft fillings all melting together when you take a bite? magic tbh

•turkey
•roasted tomatoes tossed in sambal
•kewpie mayo
•goat milk brie
•soft brioche
sparkling raspberry ceylon tea in the glass #humblebragdiet

this lil’ yogurt bowl situation was actually my breakfast for the last two days but I ate it too quickly to get a picture the first time

-fresh plums
-greek yogurt
-chamomile strusel crumble
-thyme infused honey #humblebragdiet

made a quick peach cumin ginger jam for tomorrow’s baking project, or should I say I doubled my original batch because I fucked my first batch over the weekend (it was way too sweet) #humblebragdiet

life is meaningless but I realized that it’s okay to have a rotation of *multiple* types of homemade pop tarts in my freezer

-bravetart flaky crust
-peach cumin ginger jam filling
-mint tea and yogurt glaze (it’s orange cuz I panicked when I was decorating) #humblebragdiet

"you’re such a good cook"
★☆☆☆☆

"the fact that you can cook like that in such a small space makes me want to fight you"
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1159611630327664641

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1159611630327664641

just testing... #humblebragdiet

what I recommend, is waking up, reading the news and then making something I like to call “panic mac & cheese” at 8AM #humblebragdiet

it still needs some more time but i’m looking forward to enjoying this apple+plum+sage cold process shrub #humblebragdiet

got a half rack of ribs very on sale then slow roasted them in the oven and realized that my leftover mac & cheese created a moral imperative for me to make cornbread with pickled jalapeño honey butter

gansett & del’s hard tea arnold palmer in the glass #humblebragdiet

i’ve fallen into the habit of turning a pound of kale and a full head of garlic into giant batches of garlic kale fried rice. it’s so satisfying and the perfect meal for any time of day tbh

sparkling lemonade made with leftover peach cumin ginger jam #humblebragdiet

a blessing from the plantain gods to start the week #humblebragdiet

an absolute kitchen sink of a breakfast hash because i'm v. deep into the feeling that life is just an endless cycle of buying food that you have to cook?

plantain,sweet potato, jalapeños, onion, garlic, @savenors double smoked bacon, avocado, eggs #humblebragdiet

busted out my ice cream maker for the last day of august and made a sherbet with charred pluots, amaretto and mascarpone #humblebragdiet

oh we talking about how perfect boxed brownies are this morning? here’s my incredibly unscientific but foolproof strategy for making them #humblebragdiet

spent way too long attempting to make one of those cute ombré galettes and sorta failed but was able to rescue it with a lil’ garnish

•mascarpone and cherry tomato galette
•thyme & black pepper crust
•fried sage and crispy soppressata
#humblebragdiet

lol so photographing ice cream is...not it but taking a leftover slice of coffee cake a friend made (thx @RemyLupica) griddling it in butter then pairing it with homemade charred pluot, mascarpone, amaretto sherbet and a drizzle of salted honey? that’s it #humblebragdiet

4 hours and one 55 piece package of deli containers later, I have a pantry that is still too packed to be organized but at least I know where to find all 8 different types of flour and 6 different types of baking chips #humblebragdiet

anyway, here’s to me realizing that I have a chaotically stocked pantry not a well stocked pantry

I’ve fallen into the lovely habit of starting my week with a lil’ brunch, prepped between morning meetings and calls.

•cinnamon vanilla pancakes
•double smoked bacon
•bacon fat roasted tomatoes
•fried egg

hibiscus iced tea with cucumber simple in the glass #humblebragdiet

absolutely imprisoned by the “there’s food at home” mindset so I made a patty melt and tots

•gouda patty melt
•bourbon onion jam
•mushrooms
•potato bread
•jalapeño sweet potato tots
•maple dijon mustard sauce

blood orange charanda daiquiri in the glass #humblebragdiet

bad bitches are not afraid of retweeting their own work and I’m excited about sending this out for the first time tomorrow so you should subscribe https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1304514713196339200

https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1304514713196339200

This is possibly the greatest honor of my life? Rebecca Ackermann made a clay miniature of my shiso vanilla cake with citron passionfruit buttercream?!!!?!! Check out the rest of Rebecca’s work on insta cuz it is incredible https://instagram.com/rebeccaackermann?igshid=1pbx5v810z52a #humblebragdiet

no thoughts head empty, did I make a...spanish riff on a mcmuffin while I was dissociating? I guess
•english muffin
•chorizo patty
•paprika lemon aioli
•big ol’ round egg
•melted muenster

boozy amaro hot cider with brown sugar whipped cream in the glass #humblebragdiet

my unsnackable newsletter is a work in progress but vol.2 talks about how Sprite lied about obeying your thirst, wanting to taste lava (to cope), and this black sesame cake w/ pickled kumquat &blood orange curd

subscribe /read it here
http://unsnackable.substack.com #humblebragdiet

celebrating the start of hot girl fall with an ode to a true mock neck sweater icon & romcomconnoisseur my beautiful cousin @BeeBabs and her wonderful book LOVE IN COLOUR

also a well rounded meal of honey butter biscuits and old overholt cider flip cocktail #humblebragdiet

some days just require a nightcap

mini black tea and blood orange curd basque cheesecake (not usually a single serving, and yet)

yamazaki 12 in the glass #humblebragdiet

y’all truly living meaningless lives if you think that a breakfast sandwich can only have bacon or sausage

• @mamalehs pastrami
•scrambled eggs
•muenster
•maple dijon
• @LevendBagelry cheddar herb bagel

blackcurrant tea with cinnamon in the glass #humblebragdiet

gonna skrrrrt off this website real soon but I thought y’all should know that I made a perfect mall food court dinner tonight because I needed the serotonin

•general tso’s turkey
•charred broccoli
•white rice

(very very) boozy orange julius in the glass #humblebragdiet

not a very photogenic meal but satisfying nonetheless

•miso butter mushrooms
•togarashi steak
•fried egg
•a lotta rice

mint limeade in the glass #humblebragdiet

it’s #nationalcinnamonroll day and i’m going to be making a riff on these sweet potato cinnamon rolls on my insta story ( http://instagram.com/notfolu ) later tonight #humblebragdiet https://twitter.com/notfolu/status/1263272664002691079

okay, step by step for these sweet potato cinnamon rolls in my story right now ( http://instagram.com/notfolu ) and they’re currently are rising overnight in the fridge. They’re going to be gigantic probably? #humblebragdiet

so when I say these are sweet potato cinnamon rolls, I mean there’s mashed sweet potatoes in the dough and it gives them this great flavor/wildly fluffy texture

sweet potato cinnamon rolls with brown sugar cinnamon filling (before the nutmeg mascarpone glaze) #humblebragdiet

how it started: how it’s going:

#humblebragdiet

I feel like I had a better system at some point but all quar i’ve mostly been making these chaotic notes app lists/menus every few weeks before buying groceries. I barely end up making half of the stuff I plan #humblebragdiet

The perfect fall recipe and an incredibly forgiving, fluffy and rich dough- sweet potato cinnamon rolls with brown sugar mascarpone frosting #humblebragdiet

yea I have a packed bar cart and can make fancy cocktails but sometimes you just gotta make a lava flow with Red Bull and coconut cream because the world is bad? #humblebragdiet

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