It's possible in the coming days that specialists may be called upon to help out our critical care colleagues, so I thought I'd share a few tips for my fellow ophthalmologists on how to manage a ventilator. Hope this helps...

1. First, you need to learn the ICU lingo. Vent is short for ventilator. You may also hear words like, "tube," "code," and "what the fuck are you doing don't touch that."

2. Make sure the vent is plugged in to both the wall AND the patient. Both are important.

3. It's best not to touch the tube part. The tube ultimately provides oxygen to the eyes. It probably does other stuff too nobody really knows.

4. Eye exams are not as important while a patient is ventilated. The tubing makes positioning at the slit lamp very difficult, nearly impossible really.

5. If the ventilator starts beeping loudly, that means it's mad at you. Quickly apologize to the machine and ask it if there is anything you can do to help the patient breathe better.

6. Finally, if unsure what to do, furrow your brow and stare at the screen until somebody smarter than you asks if you need any help. Then gesture vaguely at the screen and say, "what do you think about this?" and then agree with whatever the person says.

7. Oh one more thing, if the patient’s family seems anxious, provide reassurance by telling them you are an ophthalmologist and will be taking excellent care of their loved one’s vital respiratory functions