Day 1/30 of school closure:

7yo “tried on” every single sock he has
11yo snuck Takis and got sick
7yo broke the laptop power supply
11yo destroyed a dog toy cuz “I dunno”
11yo left exactly 2 cubes of frozen mango and 2 frozen strawberries on the floor

Day ONE

Day 2/30 of school closure

It’s 9am and the 7yo managed drop over a hundred dice (which are very bouncy on hard floors and spread everywhere).

Day 3/30 of school closure

The Cardboard Fort and Table Fort factions have formed. May God have mercy on our souls.

All nerf toys have been hidden (for my sanity)

Day 4/30 of school closure

SOMEHOW the dog managed to get the 7yo’s sandwich and snarf it.

And SOMEHOW it happened again (says the giggling 7yo) with the replacement sandwich.

And the 11yo is “exhausted” from her day of sleeping in, playing games, and doing 15 mins of math.

Day 5/30 of school closure

Close quarters are getting to the kiddos.

By 9am my 11yo had called my 7yo a "fucker" and a "little jerk" soooooooooooo that's a thing.

Now - is taking away her device for the day more punishing to her... or to me?

(hint: it's me)

Day 6/30 of school closure

7yo got caught lying.

Got the stern mom “I’m very disappointed in you” talk.

He’s been forgiven (but still doesn’t get Animal Crossing for an extra day.)

Day 7/30(?) of school closure

7yo turned 8yo today.
Made the best of it we could.

Day 8/30(?) of school closure

The 11yo left her chalk statement art unfinished or her grammar skills are collapsing already.

Day 9/30(?) of school closure.

Today was my birthday.

8yo: Happy birthday! I love you. Are you going to start to smell old now?

11yo: START to?!

Day 10/30(?) of school closure.

In an attempt to be active indoors, played Just Dance with the kiddos.



I am confident any lingering respect they held for me is now lost forever.

Day 11/30(?) of school closure.

Me to 11yo: did you do your laundry?
11yo: yes!
Me: all the clothes dumped on the floor are washed/dried?
11yo: yes mom, sheesh!
Me: that was a big mess. I didn’t hear the machine.
11yo: YES MOM!

The laundry area 2 mins later:

Day 12/30(?) of school closure.

The kids created a new game while I was in a meeting.

I’m so glad vids they record on the iPad upload to my phone.

Day 13/30(?) of school closure.

One image that represents how the entire day went.

(Stay strong y’all. Even when you’re blessed, it can be hard. Some days are just BSOD days.)

Day 14/30(?) of school closure.

8yo & 11yo are having a legit debate in the other room about which song is superior...

8yo says BINGO is his fave but Apples and Bananas makes him laugh. 11yo BINGO has clapping and Old McDonald is infinite with different animals.

Settle it?

Day 15/30(?) of school closure.

The 8yo had his first class meeting via Zoom.

Have you ever seen a conference call comprised of 20 8yos and one tech-impaired (but lovely) teacher?

Day 16/30(?) of school closure. (Most assuredly will be longer than 30 days.)

Today I spent 30 mins to get my kids to complete 40 mins of school activities. This seems... unsustainable.

But hey - it's Friday! (I'm lobbying to make sure Fridays are still celebratory!) Cheers!

Day 17/30(?) of school closure.

Finally had to give the 8yo a haircut. There’s a reason I pay professionals for this service.

The verdict?

“Mom - can we keep the video off on Zoom FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?”

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd my state (WA state) just announced school is closed for the remainder of the school year.

So.

Yeah.

Day 18 of school closure.

11yo's teach did a video talking about school closure - and started by listing the fun things 5th graders normally do - that they'll now miss out on. "Cooking class, beach trip, overnight camp..."

So now my 11yo is weeping.

Day 19 of school closure.

My 8yo is coping by upping his milk habit.

He’s basically going through a half gallon a day.

I wonder at what point it’s cheaper to just buy a cow.

Day 21 of school closure.

Due to a conflation of the 11yo’s art project and childhood lack of euphemism knowledge...

My 8yo is running around chanting “bush man! bush man! BUSH MAN!”

Clearly quarantine is getting to me because I can’t stop laughing.

Day 22 of school closure.

By 9am:

11yo gashed her foot on a piece of metal.

8yo collided heads hard with the dog.

So they’ll skip schoolwork for now and watch Scooby Doo and eat popcorn for breakfast. #parenting

Day 24 of school closure.

The 11yo is trying to say "skeptical" but is actually saying "spectacle."

I have no plans on correcting her.

Day 25 of school closure.

The 8YO just finished Pokemon Sword and is diligently watching the credits. He reads a name that catches his eye and what they did and then says "thank you so-and-so!"

Oh, my heart.

Day 27 of school closure.

Official "remote learning" started in our district today.

I'm gonna need a lot more pie to survive this.