#SocialDistancing Day 1: I learn that Ashley likes to eat Cadbury eggs for breakfast. When I looked at her, puzzled, she says: "They ARE eggs."

I love her more than ever.
#SocialDistancing Day 2: we have established a fern-based germ shield. This will certainly repel unwanted company.
Minnie approves of the ferns but not the leash
Update: a bold raccoon walked passed us and crawled under the house. Send prayers.
#SocialDistancing Day3: Ashley and I discover that with the help of @AppleTV & inimitable @PhilCollinsFeed you can make your own #jellycam. Volume on if you love your ears. (And yes I stole this idea from work... and that one is much better: https://www.montereybayaquarium.org/animals/live-cams/jelly-cam)
#SocialDistancing Day 4: We finished a long-standing binge of Mad Men last night and [Spoiler alert] I will remain forever haunted by the fact it was a 92-episode commercial for coca-cola.
#SocialDistancing Day 4 part 2: Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst that is what I told my family back East. Also, if I get the chance to be a rambling old man one day, you better believe this is how I am gonna talk about the Pandemic of ‘20
We may be socially distant, but I am letting the sunset embrace the heck out of me
#SocialDistancing Day 5: Ashley and I discover #AncientAliens built a pyramid in our bathroom
#SocialDistancing Day 5, part 2: ATTENTION, ATTENTION, The regularly scheduled St. Patrick's day feast of corned beef and cabbage has been postponed until Friday due to an influx of conference calls. Hello? Anyone? HELOOOOO! Don't walk away from me.
Social Distancing Day 6: I told my sister, who is refusing to social distance, that she is worse than the mayor of Amity @MayorLVaughn
#SocialDistancing Day 6, part 2: tempers are boiling over. “Everyone” means one person, two cats and several spiders.
#SocialDistanacing day 7: that moment when somebody reveals they would risk a life threatening disease to see @AdamSandler
#socialdistancing day 7 part 2: #blessed to have a friend like @TimLacock to recap the 1998 @WWE #royalrumble

I don’t know either Bob. I just don’t know.
#SocialDistanacing day 8, part 2: meet the Goofy Grimace which is what I call a purple gin and tonic.
#SocialDistanacing Day 9: did our best to stay clear of other people down in Big Sur... the waves had a different idea.
#SocialDistancing day 10: over a week in and we are stew people now
#SocialDistancing day 10 part 2: my fragile peace with the cats is shattered. Send lawyers guns and money
#SocialDistancing day 11: while I have resolved the conflict, for now, Minnie’s work ethic has diminished #quarantinecats (srynotsry4 typps)
#SocialDistancing day 11, part 2: took the step of shaving clean to fool coronavirus into thinking I am a young but all it did was make me look like my older brother.
#SocialDistancing day 12, part 2: MY ICED CREAM IS STARING AT ME SEND HALP PLZ
#SocialDistancing Day 13: #5jobs, 5 tags:
1️⃣ Ice cream scooper
2️⃣ balloon sculptor “artist”
3️⃣ video rental clerk at a library
4️⃣ sports writer
5️⃣ conservation communicator
@jfrank17 @mattdundas @loufreshwater @kvossie9 @dancortese https://twitter.com/Kim_McCabe/status/1242824686125318150
#SocialDistancing Day 13, part 2: Things have gotten much worse. The cat is trolling me on IG
#SocialDistancing Day 13, part 3(really, 3 parts? It better be worth it): WE TOOK THE CATS TO THE BEACH AND THEY DISAGREED
#SocialDistanacing Day 14: but there is no joy in Mudville... (I woke up like this somehow)
#SocialDistanacing day 14, part 2: mistakes were made.
#socialdistancing day 15: somebody who shall not be named got mixed up last night and made caffeinated tea when we should have had decals and now I am tired AF
#SocialDistancing day 16: Lemon offered to make me a “knuckle sandwich”. I hope it’s good.
#SocialDistanacing day 16: At the conclusion of the first Connor family virtual happy hour, things went so well that we made the call to schedule the 2nd one in 100 years during the next global pandemic
#SocialDistancing day 17: each day that passes we move deeper into the plot of #12Monkeys as wildlife takes over our surface world
#SocialDistancing Day 18: everybody has that one coworker who does not believe in personal space or pick up on social cues
#SocialDistancing day 19: we have a mouse and I named it Mrs Frisbee.
#socialdistancing day 20: Ashley & I had been very concerned that COVID-19 is going to derail our wedding in the fall, but thanks to this we don't have to worry because she will be leaving me 😂 https://twitter.com/radiomville/status/1245412633374842880?s=20
#SocialDistancing day 20, part 2: I wore this to work today
#SocialDistancing Day 21: 3 weeks in and I decided I am finally going to get started on my passion project
#SocialDistancing day 21, part 2: hey you fools, if you send your mom flowers you might learn how much she loves your fiancée and Achtung Baby
#SocialDistancing day 22: gonna start some drama & send this on the family text
#SocialDistanacing day 22, part 2: In times of trouble @pconnor5 & I instinctively choose Mr. @BohInBaltimore as a symbol of hope. Her new FB profile pic and today’s work attire. I am truly my Baltimore Mother’s son
#SocialDistancing day 23: Have been watching old episodes of Seinfeld and we got to the one where Elaine meets J. Peterman & now Ashley only wants to talk in the style of his catalog descriptions.
#SocialDistancing day 23, part 2: it is jarring to suddenly realize that not owning a #flowbee is a significant error
#SocialDistancing day 24: THE 1983 @Orioles are the World Series Champs!
#SocialDistancing day 25: Good news everyone, due to Lemon’s increased level of anxiety because of #COVID19, she has implemented a new sleeping arrangement. All are pleased.
#SocialDistanacing day 26: against my better judgement, I let Ashley trim my hair. Against even better judgement, I will share the fruits of that labor. She gave me a modified Kim Jong Un and now it’s forever #hatseason #QuarantineHairCuts
#SocialDistancing day 26, part 2: things she said afterwards-
•“I can’t believe you let me do it.”
•”I’ve never done that before.”
•”I think I can fix it.”
•”It looked good while I was doing it”
•”I didn’t think I was that drunk.”
•”It’s really bad.”
Update: she claims that she never said it was really bad.
#SocialDistancing day 27: we have been told to pay no attention to the cat behind the curtain.
#SocialDistancing day 28: TIL that Ashley pronounces the word fleece with an extra syllable, like, "fuh-lease". I can live with this, but at what cost?
#SocialDistancing Day 29: Minnie has made it clear that my work calls are boring
#SocialDistancing day 30: I checked in w/ an older neighbor who lives by herself. The isolation is making her lonely & to make matters worse her beloved pet guinea pig died last month on her birthday. Check on your neighbors, esp if they live alone.
#SocialDistancing day 31: she claims it was a typo
#SocialDistancing day 32: gonna play #TicketToRide tonight Metro-style. It’s similar to regular game play, except you pour rubbing alcohol all over the board and light it on fire.
#SocialDistancing day 33: Optimism is great, but have you tried crying and then taking a nap on the floor?
#SocialDistancing day 33, part 2: TIL that when he was a sheriff, Grover Cleveland handled executions himself. 😳.
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