Thread by @fav_brown_eyed, " Is it that i am meeting the wrong people or i [...]

" Is it that i am meeting the wrong people or i am the wrong person?"
I ask myself this question every time i maybe lost completely vibe with someone again or they leave or we let go off each other. I have beaten myself up so many times but yet nothing changed
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The last that happened still pinch my mood sometimes. 9 months of my life and i only spoke to him EVERYDAY. For a lady who don& #39;t have friends, it was too easy for me to stick to him. From the first chat, i was hooked, i tried not to show it but i was just not in control.

I wanted to feel myself feel for someone again. I was still going through therapy after i almost died from my last relationship ( total bad year for me) and i needed just ONE person to see me for me. To show me that care, understanding, anything from the whole scenario around me

And this guy was just it for me. Maybe i pushed it too much, maybe i cared too much , maybe i should have said the "No& #39;s" while i kept saying yes just to prove i was good enough? Lol. I was just all over him. I attach my happiness, my thinking , my next moves, my all to him

Like a kind of "pull & #39;n& #39; push" thing for me but i wasn& #39;t happy still. I was received nothing at all but i kept telling myself, " he will change, he will change". Doesn& #39;t return my calls at all until maybe we have argued about it, excuses every time, i felt hidden.

I tell my everything, my past, my present and even future plans. My mouth kept spilling but he was just listening, i did not know him. He kept saying," when we see" but i loved him already, i would do anything for him so i believed i should keep fighting.

There was a night i called him from 9:30pm to 3:30 am the next day. We talked, i poured out my heart and anger , i was crying cos i had kept quiet for so long. He promised to change, that he was different and would prove it. My mind told me i needed to stop the whole thing but

It was hard. Ever felt you can& #39;t do without someone cos they practically know that ALL of you? That was me.
Fast forward, he was seeing someone else, i knew but he denied saying "she is a friend". But he has posted her twice , different occasions and never posted me before

Told me he doesn& #39;t want anyone to meddle in his relationship, he desire privacy and all of that. OK, i agreed until i noticed his wallpaper changed to that girl again. Wow, i was angry , tired, exhausted to the brim now. His friend then one day told,

"Miracle, if you value ur peace, you know what to do. Everything is telling on u already" i cried shege but then i stopped calling, texting first and shii till... Well, it ended and well, he is officially dating that girl now
It was painful but i had to go back to my therapist

When i can tell the truth to myself and cry to my satisfaction, i kept asking myself what exactly i keep doing wrong, maybe i was the issue and not them, what exactly was wrong. I really wanted to know. I wanted answers , i wanted changes. Well, time has washed all that away

I worked my anger issues and took steps to self development. It wasn& #39;t easy cos i keep feeling like i can never be happy or something. Till today, i still haven& #39;t gotten my answers but the changes i got. I needed to change if i wanted changes around me. I am still taking steps...

And one day, i know i am going to get what i want . i am going to get that Compensation and everything sadness and depression took away from me. I have even started to make friends, it exciting though tough lol. To everyone finding it hard somehow, you will get ur REST soon.

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