We've begun rewatching The Good Place. I'll be live tweeting it as if it were a sport, but it's so much better because it's funny and encourages us to be good to each other. https://twitter.com/jovenitti/status/1238212053585846278
Also, there will be spoilers. So if you haven't finished at least the first season, mute this thread.
Tahani's introductory scene was so amazing when she boops Eleanor.

I still can't believe this was Jameela Jamil's first acting gig.
"Everyone who wasn't perfect, but wasn't terrible should get to live in Cincinnati!"
"Hello? Front desk lady? Magical slave robot?"
"I have directional insanity. I once got lost on an escalator."
"It turns out the best Janet was the Janet inside Janet all along."
"I think we might be in an alien zoo, or a prank show."
"The images on the screen relate to nothing! Some time passed, and then it was over."

"That's karaoke!"
"I'm medium good!"
"Congratulations, Chidi, you just filibustered recess."
"I'm just a girl, towering over a boy, asking him to admit he loves me."
"Send nude pics of your heart to me."
"Jacksonville! It's easily one of the top 10 swamp cities in northeastern Florida."
"Is you name Chidi? I knew you weren't a soup!"
"Hey robot slave lady? Busty Alexa?"
"You're so mean! You're like those childhood bullies who said I'd never get tenure."
"Oh no! I died in...Cleveland?"
"Why are you embarrassed by the fact that we're pounding it out."
"Teaching him to be good is like teaching me to be not hot. How would you even do it!?"
"If it weren't crazy, they wouldn't call it a leap of faith. They'd call it a sit of doubting."
"We're about to do the most human thing of all: Attempt something futile, with a ton of unearned confidence, and fail spectacularly!"
"Oranges don't make sense! Apples, you eat their clothes...but oranges, you don't?"
Eleanor: "One of those diagonal word belts."

Michael: "A sash?"
"Are you Chidi Anna Kendrick?"
"It's not about who you know, happiness comes from within.

The Dalai Lama texted me that."
https://twitter.com/ndrwkhrs/status/1242978557824909312?s=19
"Humans only live 80 years and they spend so much of it just waiting for things to be over."

Damn Janet, that one hurts right now.
Michael: "The whole floor is abandoned, what is it used for?"

Janet: "The journalism department."

Michael: "Hmm. Bad for society, but good for us!"
*In Australia*

Jason: "Everything here is in - and this sounds crazy - a different zone of time.....No, that sounds stupid. A different clock land!"
"We'd like to buy one Opera, please!"
"In Jacksonville, I once got my name on a flu virus because I kissed a bat on a dare."

Too close to home, Jason. Damn.
"In America, everyone does whatever they want. Society did break down. It's terrible, and it's great. You only scream at whoever disagrees with you. There are no bees because they all died, and if you need surgery, you just beg for money on the internet. It's a perfect system."
These are all from the Jeremy Bearimy episode, which used to be my favorite. But it's a little too on the nose right now.
"Here's the thing, my little chilli babies..."
Janet: "Actually, none of your exes have ever gotten over you."

Eleanor: "You're damn right they didn't."
"More guys should be bi, it's 2018, get over yourselves."
"I'm going to pick up our friends from the airport, the worst possible use of free will."
"Let's all say white people things! Billy Joel! I found it on Etsy! There was nowhere to park!"
The Janets episode is so good. But it was probably not the best idea to watch when I'm already mad.

Now I'm even more mad that D'Arcy Carden got snubbed. She's a national treasure and deserves 6 Emmys for this episode.
"It smells like a curtain closing between first class and economy."
"We're refugees, what kind of messed up place would turn away refugees?"

Jason Mendoza has a lot of gut punches upon rewatch.
"This is how I always got out of escape rooms. If you break enough stuff, they open the door and kick you out."
"The Titanic is sinking and they're writing a strongly worded letter to the iceberg."

Damn, Michael...just @ Democrats next time.
"Possession of a non-fried vegetable is a felony in Jacksonville."
"Earth is a mess y'all!"

"And I guess I'm black? And they do not like black ladies there!"
"You're the Blake Bortles of... whatever is going on right now."
"Let's kick things off with the official Bad Place song:

🎶 1-877-KARS 4 KIDS 🎶"
"Guys like Brent were born on third base and think they invented the game of baseball.

They think the world revolves around them...because it kind of does."
"But everything I do blows up in my face. I'm like a hot blonde Wile E. Coyote."
"To be fair, I only think that because it's true and I'm right."
"If you wanna make a pearl, you gotta get some sand in your clam."
"I haven't encountered this much resistance since I tried to get Timothee Chalamet to go out into the sun."
"If you're a devil, how come you're not wearing Prada?"
"What do you Americans say? Insert me, coach man!"
"Do you know why they're called Baby Boomers? Because the tiniest little pinprick to their egos and boom! They become babies."
"Let's hope our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we've become...like Facebook, or America."
"You know what they say in Florida, if you don't like this funeral, just wait a minute!"

Damn, Jason has had way too many relevant lines upon a quarantine rewatch.
The Chidi episode in Season 4 has so many nice flashbacks and foreshadowing. It's so sweet on rewatch.
"Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble...that's called a Jacksonville plea bargain."
"The fair thing for us to do is just keep on giving up more and more stuff we want, unilaterally, until this demon is finally happy!"

cc: @TheDemocrats
"I hope we're not doing sexual harassment training. We just did that, and I'm already so good at it!"
"Think of it as flattening the penises of their heart."
"I am a strong independent acid snake, in the skin suit of a strong independent woman."

Vicky was such a great character.
"How do you get the "of" in your name? Is it just, like, where you hung out the most? Like, am I Eleanor of the Cheesecake Factory Bar?"
Guy who died in ancient Greece: "I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.”
"Soon, millions of people are going to start pouring in thinking they’re in paradise, only to become a joyless husk. It’s Coachella! We’ve invented Cosmic Coachella!”
We're about to watch the finale, which is titled "Whenever You're Ready" - and no, I'm not ready.
DJ Music!
"None of us are real, we're all just Caspers the Ghost.

Why are all ghosts white?

Oh dip! Are ghosts racist?"
Love how the last thing on Tahani's list was "Problematically objectify Eleanor"
"I'm reading the Da Vinci Code. After a thousand lifetimes of reading the most difficult works on the universe, I've got a new passion: garbage books!"
Oh my god, Chidi's Buddhist story about the wave, followed immediately by his sexy calendar shoot had us cry-laughing, and then laugh-crying.
"You're annoying.

I mean, you did save the universe and everything...but your tone. It's your tone."
"There's nothing more human than texting someone that you're 5 minutes away when you haven't even left the house."
"I hate to see you go through the final door at the edge of existence...but I love to watch you leave."
"I say this with all the love in my heart, and all the wisdom in the universe...take it sleazy."
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