journaling and self-inquiry led me to a lot of knowledge about myself that i didn& #39;t have to look for anywhere else. just creating safety for myself to be truly honest and not exaggerate my experiences, blame anyone else, or escape feeling pain. i am grateful for how i show up.
not needing villains in my life story keeps me in my power. i can acknowledge how i have been hurt and still not make their actions center stage for why i didn& #39;t take my power back when i always had that choice. i prefer empowerment over all because it keeps me alive and going.
i don& #39;t care how others go about their healing because that wasn& #39;t my pain. i don& #39;t resonate with staying in pain because i need movement and change or else i& #39;m sabotaging myself and that& #39;s a disservice to me because i know i deserve more than to always feel like a victim.
from my own perspective, i don& #39;t involve myself in a lot of spiritual community stuff because it becomes another identity to uphold and i& #39;m not interested in making my life story a lesson for other people when i just want to live and share if i feel like it.
and i don& #39;t always want to be seen as someone to look up to because you don& #39;t know what i& #39;m going through and that makes me feel like you don& #39;t see me when you try to separate me and make me above you just because i have the will to live. that is my only choice. it& #39;s not heroic.
i either keep going or i check out. there is no middle ground because i don& #39;t just have myself to think about. i have an entire village that i& #39;m a part of and if i stop doing my part, that& #39;s not fair to me or them because i promised that i would always try.
i don& #39;t need pedestals, praise, any of that. i& #39;m here doing what is natural to me. this is how i live. not a performance. not a show. just how i live because i wanted my life to align with my values and desires. not something for other people to gawk at and "goals" .. like ew.
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