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MAGA hats and the Kindness Matters- A 
So I met a friend for breakfast this morning at a diner here in Jersey. We are full of diners here. Patrons are typically white haired and typically regulars. Some sit at the counter and order breakfast, young patrons don’t do this.
So I met a friend for breakfast this morning at a diner here in Jersey. We are full of diners here. Patrons are typically white haired and typically regulars. Some sit at the counter and order breakfast, young patrons don’t do this.
So I needed to use the restroom but to do it, it was a tight squeeze past patrons at the counter.A woman with a smaller ass than mine may not have had an issue but that’s a separate story.Anyway,there was a man in particular blocking my way.And to top it off, a man in a MAGA hat.
When a saw the hat, I had an automatic visceral reaction. Like nervousness and then immediate anger. Before I knew it, he stood up and said “my goodness ma’am let me get out of your way” then he ran to the restroom door and said “let me grab this for you”.
He was sweet. Really kind and gentle. Reminded me of my grandpa, and dear god, I miss my grandpa. So immediately I softened a bit and thanked him and went on my way. I was conflicted though. Yes, he was kind, but he was also wearing that hat.
So that hat to me is no different than a confederate flag shirt. It’s hate speech. It represents oppressive systems and policies that have hurt people, especially people of color and LGBTQ folx. The hat is unkind. But yet the man did kind things while wearing it. So here it is...
When we “teach kind”. Or whatever the hell it is we do, we teach through being kind. Kind acts that seem to, on their surface, appear kind, but do we ever wonder if it matters what lurks on the inside of us. Our morals that drive our beliefs. Are they kind?
My dad used to like going to car shows. I find them stupid. I can see the car, why does the engine matter? “The parts inside are important, Maire. Each piece functions to create the experience you feel when you drive it”. This explanation makes some sense to me now.
When we advocate for kindness in school,create activities surrounding kindness read books that celebrate kindness, we are doing nice things. We are teaching kids to open doors and move aside for folx in diners. But are we addressing the ignorance or hate that can breed there too?
When do we talk about the unkind things that make up their world? When do we teach about the racist structures that have created comfort for some of them and pain for others?. When we talk poverty and SDG’s do we discuss race and class and international policies?
We can wear rainbow pins and place safe stickers on our windows but do we teach kids about the fear and hate LGBTQ folx face daily. How their lives are seen as less than in the eyes of insurance companies and policy makers?
So my conflict here is that I want y’all to know I am not “anti kind”. I am not negative. I want the very best for all kids. ALL of them. But I’m not sure these kind acts are doing what’s best for kids. We are creating nice humans, sure thing. And we should continue to do this.
But,to me,the kindest thing we can do is educate our kids so that ignorance and hate of humans who are different than them doesn’t breed. We do this every year.We do it in all things we do It’s accomplished through anti racist work,inclusive curriculum,trauma informed practice.
Kindness is education. Education of all students. Education that is reflective of all students. Education that teaches the truth rather than sugar coats it. I sometimes wonder if that man in the diner would’ve been truly kind with an education like that.
