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Venture Capital is a tool to build high growth startups.
Some Venture Capitalists can be tools though.
Know your VCs well. /thread
Some Venture Capitalists can be tools though.
Know your VCs well. /thread
Amateur VC: Self Important VC who thinks they know more than founders and value their time ahead of their customers.
"Here's an intro to a real estate consultant"
"Did you speak to the consultant?"
"I dont appreciate you ignoring the consultant intro"
"Here's an intro to a real estate consultant"
"Did you speak to the consultant?"
"I dont appreciate you ignoring the consultant intro"
Gold digger VC: Micro / Seed VC who thinks they only need to pick the right startup and can condescend to founders because they wrote a $250k check
Puritan VC: "Why is your salary so high" "Why are you spending $5000 on office space" "Why do you need so many employees" "You should find better customers" "I did not sign up to invest in this business model"
Gotcha VCs: VCs who never ran a company who use every single word and data point you ever offered as a gotcha during their meeting
"But during our meeting 8 months, 5 days and 3 hours ago, in the 18th minute, you said something different"
"But during our meeting 8 months, 5 days and 3 hours ago, in the 18th minute, you said something different"
Litigious VC:
VCs who do not trust you, who want to be combative and only know how to threaten founders with lawsuits to get their way. AKA Activist VCs
VCs who do not trust you, who want to be combative and only know how to threaten founders with lawsuits to get their way. AKA Activist VCs
Indifferent VC:
"Oh so you didnt make your numbers and need a bridge? Oh too bad, I feel you dawg but the money spigot is off."
"Oh so you didnt make your numbers and need a bridge? Oh too bad, I feel you dawg but the money spigot is off."
Simplistic VC:
"Just figure out your unit economics, crack a sales model and go viral. Thats what <portfolio co> did"
"Just figure out your unit economics, crack a sales model and go viral. Thats what <portfolio co> did"
Advisory VC:
"Do this, hire him, and run your company this way.."
"You are bad at your job, you didnt do what I told you.."
"Do this, hire him, and run your company this way.."
"You are bad at your job, you didnt do what I told you.."
Bottom Feeder VC:
"I'd like to invest but honestly your cap of $8M is too high - You're competing with startups at a $5M Cap and honestly I get more shares for the same price"
"I'd like to invest but honestly your cap of $8M is too high - You're competing with startups at a $5M Cap and honestly I get more shares for the same price"
Self Important VC:
"with <portco1> we did this.."
"When I was founder we did this.."
"I met so-and-so at this party who is doing so much better than you"
"with <portco1> we did this.."
"When I was founder we did this.."
"I met so-and-so at this party who is doing so much better than you"
Fair Weather VC:
"OMG you're doing so well - I love this story, lets spend 10X on marketing"
"Sorry it didnt work out man, I just cant support another check unless you step down.."
"OMG you're doing so well - I love this story, lets spend 10X on marketing"
"Sorry it didnt work out man, I just cant support another check unless you step down.."
Shark Tank VC (usually from middle America)
Pre YC:
"Why is your startup worth $2M dollars?"
Post YC:
"OMG we would have loved to invest but we cannot afford to"
Pre YC:
"Why is your startup worth $2M dollars?"
Post YC:
"OMG we would have loved to invest but we cannot afford to"
Creeper VC:
"Lets discuss your growth strategy over a private dinner at my home - Wear that backless dress you wore to our holiday party! You look great in it.."
"Lets discuss your growth strategy over a private dinner at my home - Wear that backless dress you wore to our holiday party! You look great in it.."
Brat Privilege VC:
"Why dont you just take some time off and go on vacation to Italy - When I need space I always go to my house in Lake Como and decompress..."
"Why dont you just take some time off and go on vacation to Italy - When I need space I always go to my house in Lake Como and decompress..."
Self Dealing VC:
"We love to support our portcos with services - Here is our check and here's our advisory agreement for 2X the shares we asked for.."
"We love to support our portcos with services - Here is our check and here's our advisory agreement for 2X the shares we asked for.."
The Hyper VC:
*sms at 1am*
"Hey did you check out this 3 week old article about this competitor who raised from BigName VC? How is our product better?"
"Hey are you going to this show?"
"Hey look at this product - is it competitive"
"Hey new deck from <industry> - thoughts?"
*sms at 1am*
"Hey did you check out this 3 week old article about this competitor who raised from BigName VC? How is our product better?"
"Hey are you going to this show?"
"Hey look at this product - is it competitive"
"Hey new deck from <industry> - thoughts?"
If your VC is awesome she is prolly one of these:
The believer VC
The diligent VC
The connector VC
The operator VC
The benign VC
The idealist VC
The humble VC
The learning VC
The coach VC
The partner VC
The believer VC
The diligent VC
The connector VC
The operator VC
The benign VC
The idealist VC
The humble VC
The learning VC
The coach VC
The partner VC
As the #COVID19 crisis turns into a recession, You'll meet a lot of the "Friendly Hypocrite" VC:
"We invest in lines, not dots - for the next 7-15 years"
followed by..
"With the markets, Travel and Tourism is such a tough sector for us right now.."
"We invest in lines, not dots - for the next 7-15 years"
followed by..
"With the markets, Travel and Tourism is such a tough sector for us right now.."
Time for the "Fake Warrior" VC:
"Great companies are built in recessions - We invested in <2001 co>, <2008 co>, and are rolling up our sleeves to invest in <2020 cos>, Founders, Lets Fucking Gooooo..."
"Great companies are built in recessions - We invested in <2001 co>, <2008 co>, and are rolling up our sleeves to invest in <2020 cos>, Founders, Lets Fucking Gooooo..."
On #VCTwitter we also see the "Imitating Dad" VC:
"Thoughtful shitpost to get follows and likes"
- young Associate who looks important, makes founders wait, but actually just takes notes at partner meetings, while expensing lunches with friends at expensive restaurants.
"Thoughtful shitpost to get follows and likes"
- young Associate who looks important, makes founders wait, but actually just takes notes at partner meetings, while expensing lunches with friends at expensive restaurants.
Seeing a lot of "Male Privilege" VC (literally 90% of VC)
"So who should I talk to to educate myself about..?"
"Who can tell me...."
"I am reading.... to learn about..."
"Why can't they just eat cake?"
"I make my own luck.."
"Just dip into your savings.."
"So who should I talk to to educate myself about..?"
"Who can tell me...."
"I am reading.... to learn about..."
"Why can't they just eat cake?"
"I make my own luck.."
"Just dip into your savings.."
The "Just Win" VC:
"Startups may be hard. But best founders don't blame circumstances - Just win, Baby!"
"Startups may be hard. But best founders don't blame circumstances - Just win, Baby!"
