yoonmin au—

two things about yoongi: he is a dreamwalker and he’s in love with his friend park jimin. sometimes he thinks it's mutual. but jimin only shows his feelings during their shared dreams and he doesn’t remember them when he wakes up or, at least, he acts like he doesn't

commission for a sequel of my dreamwalking au

> mention of homobophia (internalized and by a family member)
> lots of kissing, maybe more kissing than plot hehe
> the original au: https://twitter.com/minjiiminie/status/1187394607069270018

Jimin is kissing him.

He does that a lot when they’re dreaming. It’s like he can’t get tired of kissing Yoongi. And he does so slowly, savoring the moment. And it shouldn’t feel as good as it does if he considers this is just a dream but Yoongi thinks nothing could feel better.

When Yoongi wakes up, he misses Jimin’s body next to him.

He’s tired because walking into Jimin’s dreams means he doesn’t really get much sleep, but he can’t say no to Jimin’s dreams once the younger pulls him in. Every morning, however, is a reminder of what he can’t have.

He texts Jimin a good morning text like he usually does. They’ve been texting nonstop since they met a couple of months ago, when Yoongi looked for him, and Yoongi can say with no doubt that they are becoming close friends.

He's Jimin's only close friend in Seoul, in fact.

When Yoongi walks out of the shower there’s a text message waiting for him. A simple:

> good morning hyung!

He unlocks his phone and finds that there’s also a selfie of Jimin attached. On his bed. The bed where they were kissing on Jimin's dream since they were in Jimin's room.

The picture is cute though, Jimin looks sleepy. He's hiding under his blankets, his fingers peek from under them in a peace sign. Hair a messy nest.

Yoongi doesn’t notice it right away but he’s smiling widely. He’s so fucked. He's in love with Jimin but he can’t even have him.

They have sort of confessed before but nothing really came out from it. Jimin is not ready for a relationship. Even worse, with a man and he told Yoongi so and Yoongi said it was okay, that he wanted to be Jimin's friends more than anything. But sometimes, it still hurts him.

They go out though, they do that a lot. Seokjin always jokes about their time together, calling it dates but Yoongi reminds him it's not.

They do feel like dates sometimes, but Yoongi won't ever tell that to Seokjin. Yoongi picks Jimin up from the coffee shop where he works.

Or they meet up in the train station closest to the store. Where they crossed paths for the first time, when Jimin saw Yoongi and started dreaming of him, therefore pulling him into his dreams. They don't take the train though, they walk from there to wherever they have to go

This makes them arrive late everywhere, but none of them really care. The presence of the other is too pleasing and it's better having to come up with excuses when arriving a little later than shortening their time together. Jimin needs someone to talk to, after all.

And they talk about everything when they're together. It's one of those days when Jimin explains he’s happy about finally having a friend with whom he can be sincere. Yoongi doesn’t want to destroy that trust, he doesn’t want to confess again and ruin their friendship.

Because Jimin has told him about his father, about his fears and about being alone here in this city and Yoongi knows that more than anything, Jimin needs a friend. And that's why he pushes away all his growing feelings, keeps them hidden whenever Jimin smiles too bright at him

“How does your power even work, hyung?” Jimin wonders one night. They’re walking and it’s already late. It's cold and their sides are basically pressed together.

“I have no idea,” Yoongi says honestly.

Jimin laughs, probably because of the unexpected answer. “Really?”

“It has rules, which my mother explained but some rules don't always apply and I can't even control it," Yoongi sighs, "Actually when I started dreaming of you- or well, when you started dreaming of me, I thought you could actually explain it to me?”

Jimin smiles nervously.

“How could I know?” Jimin looks away. He opens his mouth and then closes it. Finally, he says, “I’m still trying to understand how is it that my best friend can enter people’s dreams,” Jimin giggles

Yoongi feels something strange on his chest at being called Jimin’s best friend.

“I don’t know why, but I thought you could have answers?” Yoongi remembers one of his many conversations with Seokjin about Jimin. “I think it was because you’re the only person I’ve dreamt of more than once…”

Jimin startles at that. He turns to see Yoongi quicky, “Really?”

"Yeah." He keeps walking at his pace even if Jimin slowed down after the confession. It takes a second for Jimin to catch up. He stares at Yoongi strangely, pouting and nose slightly scrunched. His nose is small and his lips are full, Yoongi has never seen someone as pretty.

Jimin wants him to elaborate. Yoongi wants to lean down and catch his lips into his but he doesn’t. He keeps talking, in an attempt to drown the thoughts away. “I’ve never dreamt about another person twice." He looks away, to distract himself from the man next to him.

Jimin hums. “That’s strange, isn't it?”

Yoongi knows. He has always thought Jimin’s dreams were different from the rest. “Yeah,” he mumbles.

“But it also must mean something, I guess,” Jimin whispers. Yoongi turns to see him, Jimin is hiding in his scarf like he usually does.

Seokjin sometimes teases Yoongi, says Jimin is his soulmate because only that could explain everything about their shared dreams but Yoongi doesn’t like to think too much about it.

“You’re right, It must mean something,” Yoongi agrees.

Jimin buries himself deeper in his scarf.

The tips of Jimin’s ears are red and Yoongi tells himself it must be because it’s cold. Yoongi keeps talking, “I mean, even know… I haven’t walked into someone’s dream that isn’t yours in a long time.”

Jimin’s eyes widen once again. “You're joking.” Yoongi shakes his head. “Oh”

They both know it means something, about fate, about them. Jimin looks pensive but he smartly changes the topic somehow, “and how were the dreams with other people? Were they like the dreams you have with me?” When Jimin turns to see Yoongi, he can tell Jimin is blushing.

Yoongi wonders if the faint blush on Jimin's cheeks is there because the younger is remembering how they’ve been only been making out in their last shared dreams. But he can't know because they don’t ever talk about it. Jimin pretends he doesn’t remember much about the dreams.

Yoongi sighs. “No, other people’s dreams were really different from yours. First, it was only one dream per person where I usually help them with something. There’s always something to do in the dreams, I think you could call it a quest-”

“Help them?” Jimin sounds intrigued.

“I would help them through the dream it so they don’t turn into a full-on nightmare. It was like protecting the dreamer in a way,” Yoongi explains. “I help them wake up or if they have to face something that frightens them in the dream, I try to be there for them.”

“Oh, I see."

"That's nice of you, helping all those people that pulled you into their dreams," Jimin murmurs. "It's- it's a nice ability," he decides. Yoongi nods, he guesses it is. They don't talk about how everything they do in their shared dreams is kiss.

Jimin is quiet after that.

When Yoongi gets to his house, he goes to sleep and he is, as most of the nights, pulled into a dream. Jimin is kissing him even before he realizes what's happenings. They are in the same street where they talked. Yoongi closes his eyes and lets himself get lost in the kiss.

He wonders if Jimin was thinking about kissing him earlier today, the same way Yoongi had thought of doing it. He wonders if that’s why the image of them in that same street but now wrapped in the other's arms and sharing soft and gentle kisses appears in Jimin's head at night.

It wouldn't be the first time Jimin has pulled Yoongi into a daydream or a fantasy, so the next day Yoongi feels all kind of warm, and he goes to study with the best mood he's had in a long time and he doesn't snap at his boss' demanding mails.

Jimin wanted to kiss him too.

The fuzzy feeling never lasts much for Yoongi though.

A couple of days later, Jimin asks Yoongi to meet up at the train station instead of the coffee shop. As usual, Yoongi walks there after class. It's only one station after the campus one. It's a long walk but it's worth it.

Jimin's orange hair is hidden under a black beanie. He looks cute, drowning in a black sweatshirt. “Hyung, let’s take the train tonight,” Jimin greets Yoongi with a smile, even though he doesn't sound enthusiastic about the change of plans.

“Why?” Yoongi is a little confused.

They can’t talk much on the train since it's so crowded at this hour and it also means less time together since Yoongi will have to get out three stations from here.

Jimin looks away, down at his feet and then he smiles faintly. "My dad was wondering why I get home so late…”

Yoongi deflates. “Oh,” he doesn’t really know what to say about Jimin’s father. In a way, Yoongi knows he wants to protect Jimin from him. He, however, doesn’t know how to talk about him without making Jimin uncomfortable. He just has to wait for Jimin to open up on his own.

"The next train should be here in three minutes," Yoongi says, he turns his head towards the stairs that will lead them to the platform. "Let's get going," Yoongi smiles when he looks back at Jimin and catches him with his usual doe eyes, staring at Yoongi. Jimin only nods.

They are quiet while waiting, which is unusual. Jimin is talkative and he always have an anecdote to tell Yoongi, and once Yoongi starts talking he doesn't stop. But right now, it's really quiet between the two except for the loud noise from the station and the people around them

They walk inside the train but it’s packed so they don’t sit anywhere. Yoongi supports himself on one side of the train, his back to the wall next to the door and Jimin stands in front of him, really close, hand on a pole to support himself. Yoongi leaves his hand under Jimin's.

When the train starts moving, Yoongi moves his hand on the handrail a little lower, away from Jimin's because they were too close

Jimin is glancing at Yoongi when he does it. As a reaction, he mimics Yoongi's movement, lowering his hand down until it brushes Yoongi's hand again.

Yoongi pays it no mind. He lowers his hand more nonetheless. He feels weird having their hands so close without being able to hold them. As soon as he moves his hand lower, Jimin follows right after him, lowering his too.

It takes Yoongi a moment to realize what Jimin is doing.

He's flirting.

Or he's just fooling around with Yoongi, but Yoongi thinks he can say it's flirting. Middle school kind of flirting but flirting still. Yoongi lowers his hand one more time only to have Jimin follow him again. No one is paying attention to them on the train.

Jimin's eyes are on the handrail and he's fighting off a smile. They do the same one more time, their hands now on the lower half of the pole. If Yoongi remembers the game, he has to lower his hand one more time and when Jimin follows him, Yoongi catches Jimin's hand with his.

But when Yoongi moves his hand down this time, Jimin doesn't follow after him.

Yoongi looks up and sees Jimin glancing next to Yoongi. He follows Jimin's gaze and sees the man standing next to him looking at them. Yoongi lets go of the handrail when they reach the next station.

During the next five minutes to the following station, neither of them say anything. Being on the train surrounded by people is a lot different from walking on deserted streets at night. But Jimin doesn't feel comfortable in either

The man next to Yoongi leaves at the next stop.

Yoongi's stop is the one coming, which means he'll leave in four minutes. He returns his hand to the pole, startling Jimin. The younger looks up at him.

Finally, Jimin speaks. “My dad wondered if I was getting late because I was out with my girlfriend…” he laughs lightly.

Yoongi doesn't know if he should laugh or ask Jimin how did that conversation go like and ask if he's okay. But he doesn't need to speak, Jimin instead steps on Yoongi's converse with his own boots, lightly, barely there, but it's contact nonetheless. "Can you believe it?"

Yoongi doesn't answer. He really doesn't know if the question about Jimin's girlfriend was genuine curiosity or if it was intimidation.

“I think we shouldn't walk home anymore, or he’ll keep asking questions about a girlfriend and I don't know what excuse to say anymore."

Yoongi doesn't know what should his answer be. He only stares at Jimin and the train starts slowing down around them, they're at his stop already. People start moving the doors. Only when the trains stop, Jimin lets his hand brush Yoongis. "You'll still take the train with me?”

“Yeah, of course,” Yoongi replies quickly because he has to get down. He wishes he could lift his hand and squeeze Jimin's, something fast on the handrail but he opts against it. He doesn't know how will Jimin react. "I'll see you on Friday, okay?" Yoongi says and then he leaves.

That night, when Yoongi walks into Jimin's dream, Jimin dreams they finish the game of the handrail on the same train. And when Yoongi wakes up he vividly remembers the feeling of Jimin's hand under his, his hand wrapped around Jimin's, even though it never really happened.

“Well, you know better than anyone what dreams really are…” Seokjin sighs. They should be finishing their project but Yoongi can't stop rambling about Jimin.

Yoongi bites on his thumb. Seokjin smacks his hand away. Yoongi mumbles, “they are our brain processing information."

“Information it didn’t get to process while we were awake. Information that was subconsciously ignored by us.”

“What do you want to say with those big words, hyung?” Yoongi groans

Seokjin returns to his laptop. “That he’s trying not to think about how much he wants to kiss you”

They don't get to talk too much on the train, but when they dream they are kissing again.

Yoongi feels kind of sad this time, but it doesn't last long since Jimin is kissing him with hunger. A wet and deep kiss, with his hands threading Yoongi's black hair, their bodies touching

This time Jimin isn’t thinking about kisses he wanted to have with Yoongi. This one is more similar to his previous dreams when he would just fantasize about Yoongi at places Yoongi hasn't seen before. “What’s this place?” he murmurs, when Jimin moves to his neck, kissing there.

“My room,” Jimin detaches himself from Yoongi's neck and he talks as if it's obvious and Yoongi is dumb.

“It’s not,” Yoongi says. He’s been in Jimin’s room in many dreams before, he thinks he could recognize it now. He looks around and realizes it does seem a little familiar.

The first time he was pulled into Jimin's dreams they were at a party and then they were here. He vaguely remembers it. Yoongi stands up from the bed against a loud protest from Jimin, he looks outside towards the street and he's sure that's not near the district where they live.

Oh, it must be Jimin’s old house. He used to live in Busan.

“Come back,” Jimin whines. He’s so needy in dreams in contrast to how he is in real life. He can say whatever he wants here unlike real life.

Yoongi returns to the bed and sits next to Jimin. “Why are we here?”

Jimin doesn't answer because he's kissing Yoongi again, his hands know on the back of Yoongi's neck to pull him closer. Yoongi kisses back because there's no way he can resist but he would like to talk too, especially since they aren't seeing each other as much as they used to.

Yoongi moves his hand to Jimin's knee, right above it and he squeezes there, making Jimin yelp and break the kiss. "What?"

"Why are we here?" Yoongi wonders. He wants to understand Jimin more, he wants them to talk.

Jimin leans for a quick peck. “To kiss, dummy,” he replies.

His tone of voice is the same one as before as if the answer was obvious Yoongi was being dumb. But Yoongi knows it's not just that, so he avoids the next kiss. Jimin's lips land on his jaw instead, making Jimin pout. He cuddles closer to Yoongi. “Hyung," he complains in a whine.

"Why here?" Yoongi presses.

Jimin decides to drop kissing, so he only rests his head on Yoongi's shoulder and moves his hands to wrap them around Yoongi's, playing with his fingers. “I don’t know, I like it here,” Jimin murmurs.

“You’re happy here?” he asks and Jimin nods.

it's not news for Yoongi to know Jimin would rather be back home than living with his father but he thinks something must have happened for him to dream about his old house tonight. But Yoongi doesn't know how to ask.

Jimin is lifting Yoongi's fingers one by one, distracted.

Yoongi is supposed to help people through their dreams and he knows these dreams are comforting in a way for Jimin but he doesn't know what else can he do to help.

"But I'm always happy when I'm with you," Jimin murmurs and then Yoongi wakes up. It's the middle of the night.

He stares at the ceiling, he's not used to waking up in the middle of the night like this. Jimin hasn't kicked him out of a dream ever since the first dream they shared. He goes back to sleep but this time he doesn't walk into Jimin's dream, he only has a good peaceful rest.

When Yoongi wakes up in the morning he texts Jimin. Something must be up with him and Yoongi is slightly worried.

< hey I have a question

The reply comes quickly. Jimin must be in class.

> :o tell me!

Yoongi knows it’s not a good idea to talk about such things on the phone.

Yoongi is nervous when he types. He doesn't even know what he will do if he sees Jimin.

< i wanted to know if we could meet up to talk?

The reply comes quickly once again

> ah

There’s a long pause between messages, which drive Yoongi a little crazy.

> I dont know if we could

Yoongi groans when he sees the messages. He knows it’s hard for Jimin but he wants them to talk. He types his feelings sincerely.

< I really want to talk to you

Jimin types and erases several times. The blinking dots in their chat making Yoongi scratch his neck.

> ok
> where

Yoongi doesn't lose anything trying

< could u come over after class?

Jimin types and erases. He goes missing for some seconds and Yoongi ponders whether to text again or not. He knows better than that, he shouldn’t sound desperate. That would only make the younger panic.

> u want me to come over to yours after class?

< yeah

The wait for the answer is long, and Yoongi decides to go shower because he doesn't think he'll be getting an answer anytime soon. When he goes out he unlocks his phone and finds a simple, both hopeful and terrifying:

> ok!

Yoongi sent him the location and they don't exchange texts for the rest of the day.

Even if he knew Jimin was going to come over, he's still surprised when he gets a text from Jimin saying he's outside. Yoongi has to admit he's a little nervous when he opens the door.

Jimin looks cute as usual. Orange hair tucked inside his favorite black beanie. He smiles when he sees Yoongi, which makes Yoongi believe he was the only one making a big deal out of this. "My shift starts in two hours." Which means he will have to leave soon. "What's up?"

"Ah, come in," Yoongi moves to aside, letting Jimin in.

"Were you working?" Jimin asks while he starts to get rid of his boots. He looks around, curious eyes on Yoongi's small one room. Yoongi's laptop is on his desk

"Ah yes, editing some stuff," Yoongi nods. He needs to chill.

Jimin walks past Yoongi, inside the place. It's small so soon Jimin has seen everything. "I like your place," he decides.

Yoongi is still trying to get used to seeing Jimin in his room. And not in a dream. "Ah, get comfortable, you can sit there," he points to the small couch.

“Do you want anything to drink? Tea, water?" Yoongi scratches his neck.

Jimin is busy looking at the piles of books near the couch. “Sure.” He then stares at the photographs Yoongi has hanging on the wall. “Tea sounds good,” he asks while not paying attention to Yoongi.

“Okay.”

While making tea Yoongi gathers his thoughts. He knows to confront Jimin about what makes him distressed isn't the way to go but he wants to talk to Jimin, give him advice as a friend or offer him comfort.

"Here," he returns to find Jimin standing in front of the pictures.

Jimin smiles when he receives the tea. "You took these pictures? They are so nice," Jimin praises.

"Yeah, I won a contest from the Faculty with those," Yoongi explains.

"Ah, you're so cool, hyung," Jimin offers Yoongi a nice grin. If it were a dream, Yoongi could hold his hand.

Yoongi looks at Jimin as he studies the picture, at his pretty face. Jimin sips from the tea and then turns to Yoongi, "what was so important we had to meet up, hyung?" Jimin brings it up. Yoongi is grateful because he could have only stared during the hour they have to hang out.

"Ah yes," Yoongi nods. "Umh, you threw me out of your dream yesterday," he starts. "I don't really know what happened but I wanted to make sure everything was fine?"

Jimin giggles. "You could have texted me that! Everything is fine! I don't think I threw you out on purpose."

Yoongi and Jimin have been friends for a while but he knows Jimin is lying. "It was just that... I was kicked out of the dream after you said-" He shouldn't repeat Jimin's words. "You seemed sad in the dream. Did something happen for you to be sad?"

Jimin blinks. "No, hyung."

"It was just a dream, you shouldn't be so alarmed," Jimin whispers. He sips from his tea again.

"Do you remember it?" Yoongi asks. "What was happening in the dream?"

He can tell Jimin grows tense, clenching his jaw quickly. "Umh, no. No, I don't remember much of it," he says.

He knows Jimin does remember some of his dreams, otherwise, he wouldn't have recognized Yoongi when they met. And as usual, Yoongi knows Jimin is pretending not to remember. "We were in Busan," Yoongi decides to say, in an attempt to make Jimin talk to him. "In your house..."

"Yeah?" Jimin acts like he's just finding out. "Did you like it? My house in Busan was bigger than the apartment in Seoul," he murmurs

"Yeah, I liked it," Yoongi admits. "You said you were happy there, that's why I liked it," he says very bluntly and Jimin's eyes widen slightly.

"That's sweet," Jimin looks away quickly. Drinks from his tea.

Yoongi takes a step closer. "I also liked it because of what you and I-"

"Hyung," Jimin cuts him off before he can finish. "Hyung, don't talk about it," he pleads because he remembers. Yoongi knows he remembers.

"Can we, for once, talk about it?" Yoongi asks, and he recognizes the stress in his voice.

"Hyung," Jimin leaves the cup of tea next to the books, he's doing it not to face Yoongi. "We've already talked about this before," Jimin tries.

"I just need to know one thing, Jimin."

It's probably the faint desperation in his voice that makes Jimin turn to see him, arms crossed over his chest, a pained frown on his face. "What?"

“Do you remember how it feels? When we kiss?” Yoongi mumbles. Jimin closes his eyes at the question, shakes his head in discomfort.

There's no answer, like usual. And Yoongi always keeps silent in response to Jimin's answers, he's done that for months so now Yoongi answers for himself. Finally tired. "I do. I remember it."

Jimin isn't looking at Yoongi. But he does look like he's in pain, face scrunched.

"I- don't," Jimin starts but he looks at Yoongi. They're alone here, there's no one but them, it's almost like their shared dreams and Jimin stares into Yoongi's eyes. The elder hopes Jimin can understand his feelings. "I vaguely remember," he murmurs. "It's strange," he admits.

"Strange?" Yoongi wants Jimin to explain more, he wants him to talk about this.

"I forget after a couple of minutes," he explains. "When I first wake up it's almost as if it had been real and I even feel my lips swollen," he laughs dryly. "By the time I'm out of bed, I forget."

Yoongi looks at him. "During those minutes, when you remember... does it feel right?" He likes Jimin so much. He can't help but wonder all these out loud.

Jimin looks away. He nods but he doesn't say anything. Yoongi doesn't answer either. The silence makes Jimin say. "It does."

"Jimin," Yoongi starts. He likes Jimin's orange hair, he likes his small nose, his full lips, he likes the mole under his eye. Jimin looks like he already knows what Yoongi will ask. "Jimin, would you let me kiss you?" Yoongi is nervous. "If it feels right when you vaguely-"

"Hyung, don't-" Jimin lifts his hands to cover his face. To cover his blush or his teary eyes, Yoongi can't know for sure. "Yoongi hyung, we can't- we can't-"

"We can," Yoongi tries. Takes another step forward. "You said it felt right, there's nothing wrong with it. We can."

He likes that Jimin is sweet, that he’s passionate about what he loves, he likes the way he teases Yoongi, that he puts effort into everything. He wants Jimin to be happy, but he's tired of hiding his feelings.

At Jimin's silence. Yoongi just mumbles, “I want to kiss you."

Jimin looks up at him. “I also want to," he whispers, "but I’m afraid,” Jimin doesn't say anything Yoongi hasn't caught on yet but it's the most he's talked about this.

“Of what?”

“I’m afraid of what could happen…”

Yoongi worries about Jimin's safety. “What do you mean?”

“In dreams, I forget so it's okay. But if you kiss me now then I'll remember and I will want more, and I’ll get greedy. And I’ll want to kiss you outside this room, and I’ll want to kiss you anywhere and then he’ll find out," Jimin explains quickly, voice wet and scared.

“Come here,” Yoongi mumbles, circling Jimin's middle with his arms and pulling him into a hug. Jimin wraps his arms around Yoongi too, his hands clutching at Yoongi's back, completing the hug. "I didn't want to upset you." Jimin nods. "I just think we should talk about this more"

Jimin keeps nodding until Yoongi makes a small distance between them to bring both his hands to Jimin's face, so Jimin can look at him. He rubs his thumb soothingly on Jimin's cheeks. “Nothing bad will happen to you, okay? I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you,” he promises.

“You can’t protect me from everything,” Jimin mumbles, his voice comes out a little funny since Yoongi is squeezing his face but it helps make the moment less sad.

“I can,” Yoongi replies easily.

“Hyung.” Jimin is more realistic- more pessimistic fits better

“I can try, Jimin”

"You're too kind to me," Jimin mumbles. "I don't-"

"Don't say you don't deserve it," Yoongi stops him before he even entertains the thought. "We all deserve a little kindness, okay?"

"But you give me too much kindness, hyung," Jimin argues but he smiles. Teeth on display.

"I have this gift, okay?" Yoongi wants Jimin to understand him. "This dream power I have that you're always asking questions about. And I help people with it, right?" Jimin nods. "If I can still walk into your dreams, then it's because I still have to help you," he explains.

"Does that mean I'll stop dreaming with you eventually?" Jimin pouts but the implication of Jimin being happy someday, of him not needing help anymore to get out of the situation he's in now makes Yoongi smile. "Don't look so relieved!" Jimin complains "I know you love my dreams"

Yoongi won't deny that. "Yeah, I love them," he says slowly. His voice somehow comes deeper than he intended and Jimin's face turns to a bright shade of red. He escapes Yoongi's grasp of his face, but he doesn't stop hugging Yoongi.

However he murmurs, "I like them too."

"Ah, you like them? So you do remember yesterday's dream?" Yoongi inquires and judging by Jimin's expression, he let that out unintentionally.

He pouts. "Yes, I remember."

Yoongi is glad they're talking. "What happened? Why were you dreaming of Busan?" Yoongi pushes his luck.

"It's stupid," Jimin says. This time he lets go of Yoongi to return to the couch. Yoongi follows right after him. "It's not like I choose to dream that, it just happens," Jimin defends himself.

"I doubt it's stupid. But if you dreamt of a place that makes you happy it's 'cause-"

Because he was sad when he went to sleep and his mind was protecting him. "It's stupid," Jimin repeats.

"Jimin, if it made you sad it is not stupid," Yoongi says quickly and sits next to Jimin. It's a small couch, so their thighs brush.

"But it kinda is," Jimin mumbles.

"Why don't you tell me and I'll tell you if I think it's stupid or not," Yoongi tries.

"Yoongi, I could tell you the most stupid thing in the world and you'll tell me it's important and valid," Jimin teases but he sounds endeared.

"You don't need to call me out like that."

Jimin laughs loudly, and maybe because now he's more at ease he decides to tell Yoongi. "It was just... my dad said something about my hair and it made me feel a lot sadder than it should have, and I went crying to bed... again," he sounds tired of himself and Yoongi frowns.

"So I guess I fell asleep thinking of mom and, I always go to sleep thinking of you and that ended up being my dream," Jimin explains while playing with his fingers.

"What did he say?" Yoongi knows he sounds mad, but it's clear with how Jimin tenses.

"Aish," Jimin looks down.

"I'm wearing my beanie a lot more now," Jimin puts his hand up to touch the accessory. "Because the roots of my hair are coming out," he speaks softly. "And my dad said he was glad the orange was finally going away," Jimin laughs sadly. "He never really liked it, of course."

"Because I look... gay," Jimin decides to say, shaking his head. "He said I looked ugly when I got it and other stuff," Jimin grimaces. Yoongi won't ask. "But yesterday he was glad my hair was finally growing again and it pissed me off, so I told him I was going to dye it again."

"I haven't even thought about it but I told him I was dying it blonde. And apparently to him, that's even gayer than orange. I guess since colors have a sexual orientation for him and the closer to yellow, the gayer." Jimin sounds angry and Yoongi hopes he vents out all he needs.

"You have black hair and you're gay so his logic makes no sense," Jimin laughs dryly again. Yoongi smiles sadly at him. "He thinks I dye my hair to let other men know I'm gay- that's his issue. Firstly, because it's girly and I'm girly," Jimin repeats his words with distaste.

"It's so infuriating! And with every word, he says I get madder and we fought as usual and he said all those stupid things and there's a point where I can't keep arguing, so I just listen," Jimin sighs. "And that's why- that's why I went to bed thinking of mom and Busan."

Yoongi guessed he was right when noticing something up with the change of scenery in their shared dream. "You were going to keep quiet because you thought that was stupid?" he asks once Jimin calms down.

"Don't give me that look," Jimin spits before biting on his lower lip.

“That’s not stupid at all, Jimin. It makes me so mad to think he’s saying all that bullshit to upset you,” Yoongi complains. “You don’t have to listen to any of that.”

“I have to. He’s my dad,” Jimin mumbles.

Yoongi tsks. “He makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s not okay”

Jimin moves closer to Yoongi. “Don’t frown, hyung,” he whispers. “It happened already.”

“But it could happen again,” Yoongi pouts. “And no one should talk you like that,” Yoongi scowls. Jimin is quiet. “Just... if it happens again, if you feel sad just let me know.”

Jimin nods. “I want to help,” Yoongi explains. “But you need to help yourself too. Don’t hide everything you feel...” Yoongi murmurs.

“I’m trying,” Jimin admits. “Before I meet you I was still afraid of saying I liked men,” Jimin reminds him. “I’m getting better.”

“You are.”

“I’ll talk to you,” Jimin promises. “It’s only that— It’s similar to the kiss. I feel as if I get a taste of anything we do in our dreams, a taste of you, then it will only get worse from then.” Yoongi turns to see him. “He’ll notice... something bad could happen,” Jimin murmurs.

“If we text too much, spend too much together, if we hold hands— what if he sees us on the street? What if he reads something he shouldn’t. I don’t know, it’s scary,” Jimin explains. “Dreams are safe even if I only remember them vaguely,” he sounds sad.

Yoongi holds his hand.

"We don't have to do anything of that in the street, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do... but if you do want to- like I think you do judging by your dreams. If you want to do something then don't be scared to do it."

Jimin holds on Yoongi's hand tightens.

"I understand where your fear comes from, but don't let it consume you," Yoongi explains. "Of course, your safety is first on top of all and if you feel scared then you don't have to do anything but you understand what I mean with how dangerous it is to suppress your feelings?"

Jimin nods and then he smiles faintly. "I like you," he says and Yoongi goes speechless. "I'm so glad I met you," Jimin adds, "and I like you so much," he whispers. Yoongi remains silent and Jimin says it one more time, "I like you, hyung," and that one embarrassed him.

He whines. "Ah! I'm so embarrassing!" Jimin lifts his hands to cover his face.

"I like you too?" Yoongi whispers after a moment.

"I know," Jimin says without even sparing a glance his way. "You said not to suppress my feelings and doing what I want but it's embarrassing!"

"Did it feel good?" Yoongi wonders, trying to make Jimin feel less mortified. "Saying it out loud?"

Jimin nods. "Yes. It feels good to let you know. I needed you to know," he explains.

"Okay, now I know," Yoongi assures him. "I suspected but it's nice to have a confirmation."

Jimin leans over to hug Yoongi, and it feels nice. Yoongi thinks of all their kisses, all those they share only in dreams and they are perfect in Yoongi's head but they're nothing like a little uncomfortable half-hug on his couch, they're not even close to the greatness of this.

"It's going to work out alright, isn't it?" Jimin mumbles against Yoongi's neck from where they are hugging.

"Yes, we'll do good."

"I'm going to need more time though." Jimin sounds a little ashamed to admit.

"It's all okay as long as you talk to me," Yoongi reminds him.

It's only a couple of minutes until Jimin realizes he's late for work and he and Yoongi detach from each other -which is pretty hard to do for both-. "I'll walk you to the train station," Yoongi offers, putting on his sneakers. He wants more time together.

"Yes, please."

Jimin must want more of his company too.

When they're both ready to leave Jimin stops Yoongi before he opens the door though. "What is it?" Yoongi asks, eyes on the small hand grasping his arm. They are late but Jimin keeps Yoongi from moving.

"There's something I want to do."

Yoongi is frozen when Jimin leans to leave the softest of pecks on his lips. It's quick, it's innocent, it's just the most delicate of kisses and it's everything Yoongi ever wanted. "I won't be able to say goodbye like this in the station, so I'm doing it now," Jimin murmurs.

Yoongi's natural reaction would be to turn that peck into a deep kiss, or to return it, to taste Jimin's lips again but he thinks this progress seems to be just perfect. He smiles widely, showing his gums. "Is that how we'll say goodbye now?"

Jimin nods, the tip of his ears red.

Yoongi doesn't do anything that could overwhelm Jimin, who just did something very courageous, what he does is pull Jimin closer by the neck to leave a kiss on his forehead. "This is my goodbye from the train station."

Jimin smiles at him, that bright smile Yoongi fell for.

When they go to sleep that night, Jimin is kissing him again. Wet slide of lips, a deep and slow kiss. He dreams of them in Yoongi's one room.

This time the kiss doesn't leave Yoongi feeling bittersweet. He knows there's still much to do, but he's happy on their way there.

the end

(sometimes the smallest of steps can be the most revolutionary!)