Omegaverse thought. Non-con, mentions of assault and some bitching! (I'm an adult, I swear .. as I giggle over 'bitching')

Katsuki's been in love with Eijirou since he first saw the redhead. Everything about him is as dazzling as the sun. The biggest problem? He's a fellow alpha

You don't date fellow alphas. /Ever/ it's so hugely frowned upon that there's laws against it. Things that strictly forbid two alphas being together. No one ever really explains why and it's not until a drunk night at a bar, that Katsuki finds out /why/

He doesn't remember the

previous night. He doesn't know how he was dosed. He doesn't know why everything hurts. There's a gnawing voice in the back of his mind that seems softer than before. Not the aggressive alpha voice he's come to accept but something needy and whiny.

He's smart though, goes in to see someone and to their horror, they have to explain exactly what happened.

Another alpha had bitched him. Drugged him and taken advantage in his incoherent state.

He's devastated. He liked being an alpha. He liked the sense of power it gave him.

He liked how he felt around others, that his presence commanded respect. But now?

Now he's embarrassed. He's terrified of what the others will think. What /Eijirou/ will think.

"We can have him now."

The same needy voice from before comes out of its hidey hole with this new

piece of information.

"Omega now. We can /have/ him."

He argues with the voice. There's no way Eijirou would want him now. Not when he can feel himself changing. Not when he knows he's weaker than before.

No alpha would want him. Not like this.

Weak. Weak. Weak.

Weak omega. Bad omega.

He's sobbing in the middle of his room, trying and failing to build what he assumes to be a nest.

He tried to fight the compulsion before. Tried to will away the desire. The /need/ for the soft things piled on his bed.

But that's what it is. He needs to do this. He needs a safe space.

And he hates it.

He huffs through his tears. Other omegas made this seem so easy. Their nests looked comfortable, inviting. But this... This was an absolute disaster. Nothing felt right, something was missing.

/Our alphas scent, that's what's missing/

That warranted an eyeroll.

"He's not my alpha." His voice came out in a sad whisper.

/Could be/

As if he'd ask the redhead for anything to put in his nest, let alone to be his alpha.

If he could have things his way, Eijirou wouldn't find out about the change until he was damn good and ready. Hopefully by then, he'd have a handle on this omegan bullshit.

He'd need patches and layers. If he covered up, then maybe no one would be able to tell. Keep this shameful secret to himself.

No one needs to find out. It can't be that hard.

Briefly he considers calling into work to take a few days off. It sounds like a solid plan, could claim he's sick with something contagious.

Surely that would prevent anyone from checking on him. But knowing the redhead as well as he does, he'd still show up.

Perfect health be damned.

He grumbles softly and burrows deep under a series of blankets. He's tired and everything still hurts. No one said anything about pain. Was it supposed to be like this? Did it have something to do with the incident?

A fresh wave of tears spring forth and he sobs into the softest blanket he owns. Burying his face deep within the fibers, trying to will away the negative thoughts.

At some point he falls asleep. It's restless and he shifts around enough in his sleep to knock half of his nest off the bed. Immediately he wakes up in a panic. Even if it was a shit nest, it was still /his/ nest and now it's ruined.

Quickly his room fills with the scent of a distressed omega. That'll take some getting used to. It shouldn't be hard to control his scent, but everything is in flux and he's pissed about the nest. Pissed about his situation. He misses Eijirou enough that the omega voice in his

head whines just thinking about the redhead.

/Call him/

"No." Even if he wants to. Even if every part of his being is crying to call the one person who can comfort him. No. He can do this alone. He has to do this alone.

New resolve set in place, he finally grabs his phone to make a few phone calls. First is work. He hates lying, it makes his skin crawl to be this deceptive, especially to the handful of people who tolerate him; but it must be done.

Next he calls his mother. He's not sure what's worse, the fact he has to tell her or the fact he's doing it over the phone. He can't bear the thought of facing her right now.

He expects insults. He expects to be berated for no longer being a proud alpha.

But the call goes better than expected. She doesn't scold him for drinking and she's careful with her words. Like she knows how sensitive he is about the subject. Makes him promise to visit home soon, if nothing else just so she knows he's doing okay.

It feels uncharacteristically soft for her, but he's just grateful she's not yelling. He's not sure how well he'd handle any hint of aggression from an alpha, especially a familiar one.

Once the calls are handled, he sends Eijirou a text.

Well, he tries to. Ends up sitting in the middle of his still half trashed nest staring blankly at his phone. Every message he's typed so far has been erased almost immediately. Nothing seems like an adequate excuse.

All of them still resulting in the redhead showing up on his doorstep.

/Could just tell him the truth/

The voice chimes in quietly. He snorts and ignores it. Finally he settles on something vague and hopes it's enough.

'Hey Ei. Feel like shit, think I'm coming down with something and I don't want anyone around. I'll keep you updated.'

He glances over the message while hovering over 'send', deep down he knows it doesn't matter what he says. His best friend is too impulsive to heed his warning,

but still considerate enough to show up with things he knows Katsuki likes, in hopes of making him feel better.

/One of the reasons we love him/

This time he was inclined to agree.

He could easily spend hours mulling over the things he loves about the redhead. His bright smile, his compassion, the fact he tolerates all of Katsuki’s bullshit without so much as batting an eye. He was smart in a unique way, not necessarily book smart but intuitive.

He could read between all of Katsuki’s lines and knew when something was wrong. Absolutely dreadful with words though.

He smiles at the thought, memories flooding in of each time Eijirou had tried to convey what he was thinking, only trip over his words like he’d trip over his own feet. It was adorable and never failed to make him smile on the inside.

A familiar buzzing pulls him from his thoughts and he looks down at his phone. He wasn’t expecting a response so soon but pulled up the message anyway.

Eijirou: ‘You sure? I can swing by with some of the usual things.’

Katsuki: ‘I’ll be fine shitty hair. Worry about yourself.’

He stares at the screen, watching as the text bubble pops up and disappears a few times before a response finally comes through.

Eijirou: ‘Promise you’ll let me know if you need anything?’

Katsuki: ‘Promise.’

“Promise,” he repeats out loud. The word feels like a lie. He needs the redhead. He needs the comfort of someone he loves. He needs someone to hold him. He pauses for a moment, damn… He really needs a shower. A quick sniff confirms it and he rolls out of bed to retrieve pajamas.

A quick shower, some nest assembly and then sleep.

-

He’s not prepared for the sight he sees in the bathroom mirror. He’s been avoiding it, embarrassment and shame fill him to the brim as his eyes wander over bite marks, scratches and the various bruises that litter his skin.

He knew it was bad, just by the gasps and hushed whispers from the nurses but he had kept his eyes closed. If he couldn’t see it, couldn’t acknowledge it, maybe it would hurt a little less. But seeing it now, the damage done to his body by some unnamed asshole.

All he wants to do was hide, crawl into a hole in the ground forever.

He hisses the moment the water touches his skin and regrets getting into the shower. Everything feels like it’s on fire.

The bites and scratches hurt the most and the dull ache from before is soon replaced by a searing pain. He’s biting back tears when he lathers up his body. It hurts so much more than he thought it would but he has to do this.

He has to get clean, scrub away any traces left behind. Anything to feel like himself again, or at least as close as he can get.

-

After what feels like hours, he finally emerges. His skin is a pinkish hue and nearly raw in some places from all of the scrubbing he’s done. Everything still aches, but it’s tolerable now. The water helped soothe the pain and calm him down.

Even his inner omega voice has been quiet, almost content.

Once again he finds himself facing the mirror, eyes roaming over the various marks until they seem to hone in on the mark near his neck. It’s a bite mark and dangerously close to his scent gland.

Had the asshole moved just an inch closer it would have been a mating bite. His stomach drops as he recalls the conversation with the doctor.

‘The bite served to make you submit. Because it’s not a proper mating bite, it’ll take longer to heal and will most likely leave a nasty scar.’

The taste of bile had filled his mouth when he heard it the first time and now just thinking about it, quickly brought the taste back. He was stuck with this grotesque reminder for the rest of his life, as if his body accommodating the change wasn’t bad enough.

He traces his fingers gently over the bite, wincing at the still fresh pain that blossoms from even the gentlest of caresses. Anger soon replaces every other emotion he’s felt in the last 48 hours and he wonders if he could track down the guy who did it.

Enact some kind of revenge plot that could equal the amount of trauma he’s encountered and the problems he knows he’ll face in the future.

In some dark recess of his mind,

he contemplates the things he’d do. If he knew who it was, he could lay a trap. Plan out each detail meticulously until everything falls into place. Anything too elaborate might require help and he doesn’t trust anyone enough with something like this.

A flash of red eclipses his thoughts for a moment. The thought of Eijirou brings him back to the present, his hand dropping to hang limply by his side. All of his ideas relied on being able to figure out who it was and like the doctor had told him;

there had been enough drugs in his system it was a miracle he remembered his own name.

His stomach gives a questionable heave as he starts toweling off the remaining water.

It seems that every thought and memory of his situation is doing what it can to make him nauseous, or maybe it’s the changes. He’s not entirely sure what to expect with the upcoming month. The doctor had been frustratingly vague.

They had discussed that it may take upwards of one month before his body completed the change. He would know the moment his first heat hit and it had been recommended that he talk to friendly omegas to get an idea of what to expect.

He snorts at the idea.

There’s no way in hell he’s talking to the couple of idiots in his life that happen to be familiar with what he’s about to go through. He has the internet, he can figure it out on his own. There are plenty of blogs and videos that go into extensive detail. It can’t be that hard.

-

Soon he’s back nestled in the middle of his bed, phone open and eyes staring intently enough at the screen that it might crack any second now. “What the fuck is that?” He hisses. His phone screen shows some petite omega female going over the ins and outs of nest building.

She’s annoyingly perky and he thinks it looks like shit, something about the appearance just rubs him the wrong way. Next video then.

This one doesn’t give him the same sense of repulsion that the last one did. The pillows and blankets seem intricately woven together and it honestly looks pretty cozy. The video includes a mated pair, the omega insisting on the inclusion of items from their alpha.

They go on to explain several other things about why the items are necessary but he has long since stopped listening.

/Need something of our alpha’s./

The thought feels like an echo. He’s already been over this, he’s not going to ask Eijirou for anything. They’re not together. It would be weird.

/Maybe he left something here./

He hates to admit it, but the voice might be right. It’s not uncommon for Ei to leave things lying around. He remembers finding a sock under the sofa once and when he cornered the redhead, Eijirou simply shrugged.

“The mate will show up at some point, if not. Just toss it?” He doesn’t want to include dirty socks in his nest, but maybe there’s still a shirt in the laundry or maybe one in the living room.

Digging through the contents of his living room yields nothing but disappointment and a handful of dust bunnies he missed with his last thorough cleaning. He makes a mental note to check those places in the future before leaving the room.

The other rooms provide the same lack of results. Just dust, a couple of misplaced shirts of his own and more annoyance with his situation than he can stand.

His last option is to dig around his laundry room in hopes that something fell behind the hamper, or maybe got lodged

between the machines. He takes a moment to think about the lengths he’s willing to go to for an article of clothing and sighs. He knows the scent would help put him at ease and keep him calm but this is crazy; ransacking his house for a /shirt?/

He scrubs a hand over his face and groans. The scent is important to him, to his nest, to his omega; but this is too much.

He finally retreats to his room, glaring at his nest like it offended him before plopping down in the middle and curling up in a ball.

This would just have to suffice even if everything about it felt wrong.

After tossing and turning for roughly an hour, he drifts to sleep. His dreams are filled with shining ruby eyes and a shark toothed smile.

-

The next few days he finds himself ordering patches and scent blockers online. He really should have had some on hand already and he quietly curses his lack of scent control for needing them in the first place.

With any luck, everything should show up before he has to go back to work. His leave of absence isn’t supposed to be a long one and he doesn’t want to have to explain until he’s ready.

Too much energy to spare has caused him to scrub his place from top to bottom.

Not a single speck of dust to be found and nothing out of place. The newfound energy is annoying. He can’t tell what’s making him so restless. Is it being home? Is it being away from Eijirou? That seems like a bit of a stretch, they spend days apart because of work.

Maybe it’s because he actually misses working; something to focus on, something to pour his soul into.

With the dishes washed and meals prepared for the next few days, he retreats back into his room. After everything that has happened, his room feels like the safest place

to spend his time. He finds himself locking the door even when he’s the only one there, like it’s some kind of extra security against an unknown threat.

It’s a weird feeling being so on edge in his own home. It has always been a safe space before.

Nothing has changed. It’s not like the incident happened here. He’s safe here. So why does his skin crawl at the idea of being alone? Was this an omega thing? He hums quietly while he thinks it over. Definitely not an omega thing;

he knew plenty that lived alone and he’s never once heard of something like this. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s beginning to think it’s because of his assault. Some part of him just doesn’t feel safe, doesn’t matter where he is.

His thoughts begin to spiral and he wonders what else the assault is going to effect. His relationships with his friends? His ability to function? Will he be able to do his job? There’s no telling what kind of long lasting damage he’ll encounter.

-

He doesn't hear the knock on his door, or the door opening. He's too absorbed in his current spiral to even sense there's someone in his house. It's not until the knock on his bedroom door and the hint of cinnamon and fire that wafts in that he realizes Eijirou is here.

“Oh no.” He says softly.

/oh yes, alpha has come to check on us./

"Kat?" Another knock. Despite his panicking, his room is quickly filling with a sweetened scent, an alluring scent. The omega inside him calling to the only person he's ever wanted. It whines loudly in his head, pleading with him.

/let him in, he'll take care of us./

'And what if he doesn't?'

The nagging voice of 'reason' has decided to chime in too.

'What if he never wanted us in the first place? What if he's disgusted by what we've become?'

His stomach churns at the idea, the thick caramel scent from before quickly turns sour. He was never open about his feelings on purpose and with his body changing. Becoming something less there's no way he'll say anything now.

Finally he barks out a response. "Go home shitty hair. I'm fine." His voice is raspier than before, throat raw from disuse and several bouts of crying.

The doorknob jiggles slightly and his body tenses. For the first time he’s glad he started locking the door,

it’s his last defense against a conversation he’s not ready to have.

“Katsuki please open the door. Your mom texted me, said she’s worried about you and asked if I’d come check on you.” There’s a shuffling outside the door followed by a soft sigh.

“You promised you’d let me know if you needed something.”

/Alpha is disappointed./

The voice is whining again, which pulls an involuntary whine from Katsuki. He didn’t think the hag had Eijirou’s number. Leave it to her to put him in a position he wants no part of.

He quietly weighs his options. As long as he stays in his room, he doesn’t have to admit anything. He doesn’t have to discuss what’s going on, but the longer he hides the more likely Ei will just bust into his room anyway.

“You’re not going to leave are you?”

He can practically hear the smile in the redhead’s voice when he speaks.

“No chance in hell. Not until you talk to me.”

Several scenarios pass through his mind while he stares at his bedroom door. He could scream, he could curse, he could throw a fit like a petulant child. He could even insist that Eijirou go home, but there’s a nagging voice telling him not to.

Having the redhead so close makes him feel safe. Safer than he’s felt in days.

“What if I don’t wanna talk?”

There’s a soft hum coming from the other side of the door and he can hear the redhead pulling up a chair to sit down.

“Guess I’m not going anywhere.”

A faint smile threatens to spill across his face and he mumbles out a fond sounding “Idiot,” before snuggling into his nest to read things on his phone. Even if they’re not talking, just having Eijirou nearby has the tension slowly melting from his body.

/Alpha will keep us safe./

-

It’s dark in his room when he wakes up clutching his completely dead phone. He vaguely recalls falling asleep reading news reports and various articles that detail similar situations to his own. Finding information had been a bit of a struggle, but not impossible.

Even with the laws in place prohibiting relationships between two alphas and the discussion of such relationships, a few newly bitched omegas had had enough courage to come forward with their stories. Most of them couldn’t remember what had happened,

only that they had strikingly similar marks to his own.

He rolls onto his back and stares at his ceiling. Knowing that he’s not alone should give him some peace of mind but it only makes him angry and as long as he’s not admitting it to anyone but himself,

it also has him a little scared. He knows it can’t happen again, he’s stuck this way; there’s no reversing what was done to him and somehow that makes him feel more vulnerable than before. Omegas get attacked all of the time and most of them don’t report it.

Too scared that no alpha would ever want them again if they found out they were damaged. Would an alpha want him now? He’s damaged goods. He's barely an omega.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by a sound outside of his door. Eijirou is moving around the house, no doubt moving to the living room to lay on the couch, or maybe the spare bedroom? The redhead stays over often enough, sometimes it’s like he lives there.

Katsuki plugs his charger into his phone and squints down at the screen. It’s later than he thought it would be, bordering on early morning hours when Ei would be getting ready for work.

When he hears the front door open and close, he risks peeking out of his room. It’s too dark to tell if anyone is in his living room but he’s pretty sure the redhead is gone. He’d be facing an onslaught of questions by now if he was still around.

He can’t help but feel disappointed that Eijirou is gone.

He shuffles into the kitchen and feels around blindly for the light switch. After flipping on the light, he finds a hand written note on the counter.

“Needed clothes and a few case files from work. Be back in an hour. - Ei.”

An hour. He has an hour to get everything done so he can continue avoiding his best friend.

-

Doesn’t take him long to get everything done. Soon he’s walking back to his room while nibbling on a sandwich when something catches his eye.

A sweatshirt. He knows it’s not his because it’s sitting on the chair outside of his room. The same chair Eijirou had spent the night on.

He’s not sure how he missed it when he left his room the first time but he’s quickly setting down his food and grabbing for the shirt.

Katsuki buries his nose in the fabric and inhales deeply. Cinnamon floods his senses, causing his shoulders to slump and his body to relax.

He sighs softly, this is what his nest is missing. His omega voice was right.

The front door opens and he freezes clutching the shirt close to his chest. Shit. Eijirou is back already.

“Kat?”

He tries to slink into the shadows and make his way into his room but the redhead is fast. Soon he’s close enough to grab the blond’s wrist and spin him around.

“Why does it smell like omega in here?” He’s squinting down at Katsuki, his eyes narrowing in on the shirt.

Katsuki’s entire body stiffens as he stares up at Eijirou. He wants to run and hide, and he prays his scent doesn’t betray him when he yanks his wrist free. “Does it? Hadn’t noticed.”

/Don’t lie to him./

He silently curses his inner omega and takes a few steps back,

putting some much needed distance between them.

“Hard to miss.” Ei sniffs the air a few times and takes a step closer. “Smells kinda like you, but sweeter.”

Sweeter? The fuck? His scent changed too?! He fights the urge to scream and levels the redhead with what he hopes

is an annoyed expression.

“Dunno what to tell you, Red. I don’t smell anything different.”

/Stop it. Stop lying!/

Eijirou takes another step closer, his hand extending, while he looks over Katsuki’s form. But something changes and the hand retreats,

falling limply by the redhead’s side.

Katsuki can smell the change in his scent before he notices any visible changes to Eijirou’s face. But he’s… Upset.

The blond blinks a few times, he’s not sure what changed but it’s now or never. He wants Eijirou to leave.

He wants to be left alone. He makes a split second decision and throws the shirt at the redhead.

/What are you doing, we need that!/

“Remember to bring that home and wash it. Don’t need you leaving your shit all over.”

Eijirou doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even seem to realize Katsuki is talking when he picks up the shirt and the handful of case files he brought from work and quietly walks out the door.

Katsuki takes a deep breath as he backs himself against the wall. Why did he do that? Why didn’t he just tell Ei the truth? He deserves to know!

His body slides down the wall until he’s sitting and pulling his knees up to his chest.

His omega is quiet now, clearly upset with what he’s done and he doesn’t blame it. He just wanted some distance, some time to figure this shit out.

His stomach churns when he recalls the hurt expression that fell upon the redhead’s face.

He’s never seen that look before and he’s still not even sure what made Eijirou shut down. Whatever it was, it happened instantly.

He pulls at his hair, his eyes overflowing with tears. “Fuck!” He didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

Small note! Remember that QRTs fuel me! Also, I'd like to point out that the original non-con tag was ONLY for Kat's original assault. Looking back, I never planned for this to be a whole thing, so I didn't put a whole lot of thought into the tags. My bad!