Thread by @axisnebular, a breath of snow and ashes: a first read thread. [...]

a breath of snow and ashes: a first read thread.

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#ABOSAA

Diving right in with mysterious deaths and doctor Claire rockin and rollin all over this joint?! #ABOSAA

I’d accept a spin-off of CSI: North Carolina, starring the Fraser Family.

“Do you think it was the mushrooms that killed them?”

“I believe so. Of all the choices for a final meal, this one certainly doesn’t look... FUNgi.”

YEEEOOOWWW *guitar riff*

#ABOSAA

I get the connection to the future house fire being made here, but the mood is very heavy for the first 20 pages of this book.

I swear to god if Diana kills a single Fraser/MacKenzie in this house fire, I’ll light these fuckin books on fire in solidarity and GIVE UP. #ABOSAA

“anyone ever told ye what a comical fellow ye are, uncle Jamie? Because you’re not.”

OH IAN MY WEE LAMB HOW IVE MISSED YOU SO

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Brianna chucking a potato at Roger& #39;s head is a big ass mood. #ABOSAA

I get that Brianna& #39;s existence is just another way for DG to jerk it to her love for Jamie (since shes just a female version of him) but I H A T E that she subjects us to reading Bree having sex.

Im here for Claire and Jamie. Their kid is my kid. GROSS. #ABOSAA

Roger standing in the doorway stark naked while the wind "stirs the dark, curling hairs of his body" makes me think his entire body is covered in long, billowing hair like bigfoot.

Makes this garbage at least slightly entertaining. #ABOSAA

Jamie sitting by a roaring fire, cleaning his already spotless gun while talking to a redcoat is my favourite version of Jamie. #ABOSAA

JAMIE SPEAKING IN GAELIC AND CLAIRE UNDERSTANDING HIM CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH

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Claire: *getting visibly pissed off at someone*

Jamie: *smirks* *does nothing*

TAKE NOTES, FRANK. #ABOSAA

oh my god. Ian& #39;s full name has a nod to Murtagh?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? #ABOSAA

Ian wakes up and the first thing that comes to mind is “Wow aunty Claire’s surgery STINKS” hahahahaha #ABOSAA

I’m a huge fan of everyone referring to Adso as Claire’s cat. Not sure why exactly. Just tickles me. #ABOSAA

Fergus taught Germain to be a pick pocket and Bree has to remind herself to frisk the kid for contraband ahahahah I love this family so much.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> #ABOSAA

Holy shit Germain got Jemmy drunk and shrugged it off with “he was thirsty, m’dame” IF HE AINT HIS FATHERS SON HAHAHAHA

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Why... is consent such a foreign concept to Diana. Why is Roger insisting on having sex when Bree specifically said no several times but now she’s just gonna “lay back and enjoy it”.

Why. Why why why. FUCK.

#ABOSAA

You’d think all the money Diana gets from such a successful television show might afford her some decent therapy for the rape fetish she’s been suffering from for decades.

Not really relevant to the book but I’ll tag it regardless. #ABOSAA

Hard to believe this book series started with delicate euphemisms for sex and has since evolved into quotes like “Oh you’re going to let me be on top?” and “I enjoyed riding Jamie, all right.”

Can’t say I’m mad about it

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What kinda dirty shit was he gonna do to her - and not for the first time - when he told her to hold the bed post?! Why would she be so appalled that he wants to do it when there’s company?!

JESUS, JAMIE. YER WIFES TIRED. #ABOSAA

Claire all "look I may be homies with John now but that does not mean I don& #39;t have a crazy gay-dar and he& #39;s FULLY being nice to this dude because he has a thing for him"

I need so, so much more Claire and John in my life. #ABOSAA

Claire: WHY WOULD YOU SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT?

Jamie: why tf are you talking to yourself in here?

#ABOSAA

this conversation must be a complete dream for Claire. medical talk about hemorrhoids, making Jamie slightly uncomfortable with her bluntness, and gossiping about John& #39;s sex life. Never change, Claire. #ABOSAA

“You’ll die nine times before you rest in your grave.”

*ONLY* 9? Dude has lost his parents/brother/godfather, was flogged near to death, was violently raped and tortured, lost Faith, lost Claire and Bree, almost died at Culloden, and THATS IN ONLY 2 OF THESE 8 BOOKS?!

#ABOSAA

Jamie’s thinking about how he held Murtagh while he died at Culloden. Oh god.

NOW LISTEN. I’m lookin at you, show runners. Dont you dare. DONT. YOU. *DARE*.

#ABOSAA

Jamie playing a game of “hide the sausage” with these random women in his bed

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤨" title="Face with raised eyebrow" aria-label="Emoji: Face with raised eyebrow"> if I wasn’t so appalled I’d find this quite funny. #ABOSAA

OH MY GOOD LORD CAN WE BE DONE WITH BONNET ALREADY. #ABOSAA

Man, when I heard there was a “who’s your daddy” line I deeeefinitely thought it was going to be a decidedly more fun quote in context. God I feel betrayed. #ABOSAA

“I love you, I like you, I worship you, I have to have my cock inside you.”

Oh my good god I love this ridiculous couple so fucking much. #ABOSAA

I really love how vengeful Claire can be. Like, “oh some grasshoppers are gonna destroy MY garden?! WELL IM GONNA BURN THOSE BASTARDS ALIVE.”

A real life icon. #ABOSAA

Claire: *has been to an actual witch trial and almost died*

Also Claire, when the new tenants arrive at the ridge and the field is on fire:

#ABOSAA

Well.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> If I have to see Sam deliver the line “on your knees. Now.” with my own eyes I think I’m... probably going to die on the spot. Wow. W o w. #ABOSAA

Jamie writing a letter to John like “my wife and daughter are fucking witches and people are gonna lose their marbles if they see the shit they’re doing behind closed doors” THESE WOMEN, I TELL YA. Just itchin for a good burning.

#ABOSAA

Tv show Frasers: isn’t it playing god to perform medical procedures from the future? Tampering with time is bad!!

Book Frasers: Bree wants to invent indoor plumbing and matches, Claire’s performing medical miracles, and Roger made a toy car for Jemmy.

#ABOSAA

If John is using this Higgins guy for anything, it’s for sending his love letters and gifts of admiration to Jamie and nothing else. I hope for Higgins sake he’s at least getting some ass outta this deal. #ABOSAA

Something about Claire standing above Jamie - in public - while he squeezes her thigh to get her attention has me feelin some sort of way. #ABOSAA

McDonald thinks he can ruin my perfectly content domestic Fraser moment by moving Jamie’s sleeping head off of Claire’s leg for no good reason? HES GOT ANOTHER THING COMIN. HE CAN CATCH THESE HANDS.

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So I guess we’re making a habit of having Jamie return to Claire by grabbing her, kissing her, and telling her how he needs to bone down before his balls explode. What a guy. #ABOSAA

I can’t even find this sexy. Jamie fantasizing about splitting Claire in half is SO FUCKING FUNNY.

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Like, that’s the kinda stupid lusty shit I say about Sam or Henry Cavill or whoever. “Split me in half, daddy” LIKE COME ON JAMIE. I KNOW YOU WANNA LAY SOME PIPE BUT THIS IS JUST HILARIOUS WORDING.

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“Didn’t you tell me once that abstinence makes... things... grow firmer?”

“If it gets any firmer, I’ll faint from a lack of blood to the heid.”

AAAAAAHAHHAAHA. HOLY SHIT. I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED. PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE IN SEASON 6. #ABOSAA

Claire “I’ve never owned a vase” Randall would be blown away to know her future included the words “okay so here’s where our OTHER house will go, hows the view?” #ABOSAA

Petitioning right here right now to hear Caitríona Balfe say the phrase “gives me the whim-whams” #ABOSAA

“D’ye ken we’ve been wed this time twice as long as the last?”

COOL THIS IS FINE.

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I really didn’t need the knowledge that Claire farts in her sleep. Thanks for that one. #ABOSAA

Bree screaming about not being pregnant and Jemmy being like “SHUT UP AND LETS EAT” thank you, little man, for your service. #ABOSAA

okay....... this book went to some very not cool places. very. very not cool. I actually said out loud to myself, upon reading that part 4 was called "abduction"

"Wait, who is getting abducted?! Oh duh. Claire. Who else."

HA. HA HAAAA. fuck. #ABOSAA

And you know, I always thought it was weird of Jamie and Claire to discuss her potential for baby-making at such length in TFC. We all know she *could* get pregnant. But it& #39;s not like she was gonna let that happen, right?

I SEE I HAVE BEEN PLAYED THE FOOL. #ABOSAA

and now EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE and I SEE NOW that we& #39;re probably gonna have S5 end with Claire being fucking abducted and we& #39;re gonna have to WAIT A WHOLE *GOD DAMN YEAR* TO SEE IT RESOLVED. oh god.

I cant watch this. WITH MY OWN EYES?!

#ABOSAA

but man Cait and Sam are going to D E S T R O Y this plot. Its gonna be their bitch. *IM* gonna be their bitch after this masterclass in acting. PHEW BABY.

okay Im done screaming now, I& #39;ll post actual reactions from here on out lol. #ABOSAA

ACTUALLY NO. HOLD ON.

CAN WE NOT, DIANA? WITH THE RAPE. Can we not with the pretending this is the first time Claire has ever been assaulted? I& #39;ve HAD it. I& #39;m DONE. There is no reason to make us watch this shit. They can rewrite it or they can fucking KEEP IT.

#ABOSAA

I dont know if Claire actually gets pregnant yet, but even if she does. NO. CUT IT OUT. REWRITE IT.

There& #39;s no fucking reason for rape to be the only thing that these women ever experience in their plot. NONE. ZERO. COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

#ABOSAA

Claire& #39;s first major plot in 2 fucking books, and its her being beaten and sexually assaulted by several men? THAT& #39;S her great purpose in this story? To be assaulted over and over while occasionally being a doctor?

Fuck you, Diana Gabaldon. Kiss my ass. #ABOSAA

Okay I’m back. I’m less mad. I got genuine reactions I’ve been saving up for this little beast of a thread. So LETS DEW IT. #ABOSAA

“Your hair. It’s... there’s a great deal of it...”

Direct quote from Tom Christie or me? We’ll never know. #ABOSAA

This image of Claire standing at their bedroom window looking down at Jamie as he prepares to leave has made me REALLY sad. Him looking longingly up at her, looking at the faded C scar on his hand and feeling like he can’t breathe. Her blowing him a kiss. My god. #ABOSAA

“She has an oath upon her. She may not kill, save it is for mercy or her own life. It is myself who kills for her.”

“And I.”

NOW THAT. IS WHAT IM *FUCKIN* TALKIN ABOUT. #ABOSAA

“Which of them? How many?”

“I don’t know. It was dark.”

“Kill them all.”

Jamie is me. I am Jamie. #ABOSAA

So we’ve been back at the ridge long enough that Jamie thinks he can suggest having sex with Claire to somehow solve her potential pregnancy problem, cuz that’s appropriate

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">, but NO ONE HAS SAID IF MARSALI IS OKAY?? HONESTLY. WHAT THE FUCK. #ABOSAA

“It’s still you, isnt it?”

OH IAN. YOURE MAKING YOUR AUNTY CRY *AND ME* #ABOSAA

“That’s Jamie Fraser’s WIFE, for Christ’s sake!”

YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS, AND YOU BETTER STOP FUCKING KIDNAPPING HER, YOU SONS OF BITCHES. oh my god I’m so stressed. #ABOSAA

I colossally fucked this thread up. Y’all are gonna have to forgive that some of the reactions are outta order

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I understand Claire has this whole Hippocratic Oath thing going for her, but I’d personally love to see her blow Lionel Brown’s head off his shoulders. #ABOSAA

“Claire, it was you. It’s always been you, and it always will be.”

I’m far too emotionally unstable for this right now. #ABOSAA

Okay no no no she got attacked A COUPLE DAYS AGO she’s not puking and puffy and pregnant now. Nope. That’s not how this works. NO. N O. I REFUSE. #ABOSAA

“How extremely fortunate that I am not pregnant.”

Yeah that’s right. And don’t you fuckin forget it, Fraser. No babies up in here. Nope. No sir. #ABOSAA

So Claire’s gonna... help this man... who tried to kill her... and didn’t give a shit about her being brutally attacked or raped........ because....... “it’s her duty as a doctor”.........

Cool. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.

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MRS BUG FOR MVP! OUT HERE AVENGING CLAIRE WITH NOTHING BUT A PILLOW AND AN IRON WILL. CHEERS, YOU BAD BITCH

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oh for fucks sake. I thought, of all the couples in this book, that I was safe from ever seeing Fergus suck on Marsali& #39;s breasts BUT HERE WE GO. WHY WOULD WE WANNA CHANGE OUR CREEPY FETISHES NOW, HEY DIANA?

WHY NOT LET CLAIRE WATCH HUH? DISGUSTING.

#ABOSAA

"Fergus paused now and then to murmur something ridiculous to Marsali in French."

Now THATS the couple I fell in love with. That& #39;s what Im talkin about. Fuckin Diana, trying to ruin this for me. I won& #39;t allow it. #ABOSAA

HENRI-CHRISTIAN WELCOME TO THE FAMILY MY MAN

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Is Diana gonna piss me off by being offensive about this? Should I be pre-angry? #ABOSAA

Oh so we’re just gonna name a bunch of cars from the future right in front of Marsali, like that’s not completely absurd to her? #ABOSAA

This image of Jemmy sitting up cheerfully in bed, red hair wild, while he calmly says “someone’s knocking” while Bree hides and groans about being awake is SO FREAKING FUNNY. Like thanks Jem. We didn’t notice. #ABOSAA

Roger: damn Bree sure doesn’t like to wake up in the morning. I wonder what that’s about.

Roger: *looks across the table at Claire, who’s half asleep, detangling her hair*

Roger: Oh. Okay.

#ABOSAA

Claire: Mrs Wilson is dead?!

Roger: yeah, probably her heart. She musta been 80.

Claire, unimpressed: she was 5 years older than me.

Roger:

#ABOSAA

roger you FUCKING CREEP. stop mooning over your mother-in-law and hoping your wife ages as gracefully as she does. WE GET IT. YOU HAVE A RAGER FOR CLAIRE. GO AWAY. #ABOSAA

Claire is speaking in Gaelic. Jamie is biting his lip as to not laugh at how Gaelic sounds with an english accent.

KILL. ME. #ABOSAA

Jemmy perched on Jamie& #39;s hip while he leans into Claire to call her "grandma" is just REALLY TOO MUCH FOR ME. God I& #39;m way, way too soft. #ABOSAA

Claire stop ignoring your grandson he is seeing some VERY IMPORTANT THINGS like DEAD PEOPLE OPENING THEIR EYES?! #ABOSAA

Ooooh I never thought about Jamie wanting to convince John to switch sides in the war. Shit man. How can we convince the gay best friend to ditch the red coat??? #ABOSAA

“Your most affectionate friend and humble servant, J Fraser”

Why don’t you just dot your eyes with little hearts and add a few xoxo’s while yer at it Jamie my guy. #ABOSAA

Jamie like “I’d consider letting these Indians take our horses but if Claire finds out I lost Clarence she’d whoop my ass” god I love Claire. #ABOSAA.

I sympathize with these two native boys. The last thing I’d want if I’m tryna steal something is to get caught, let alone by a crazy huge white dude who’s butt ass naked and screaming while he tries to kill me. #ABOSAA

Jamie thinking about how he’ll never return to Scotland genuinely just made me cry. My heart aches for a country I’ve never even seen, just because I love these characters so much. JUST GO BACK HOME JAMIE

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“This wife you have, did you pay a great deal for her?”

“She cost me almost everything I had, but worth it.”

WHY AM I SO WEEPY TONIGHT. GOOD LORD.

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This McGillivray bitch attacks Claire in her own bedroom and Jamie doesn’t even shoot her?! Tsk tsk. The lack of realism astounds me.

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https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔫" title="Water pistol" aria-label="Emoji: Water pistol"> #ABOSAA

“Working from home” has turned into “tech-issues and waiting from home” so I’m back to ABOSAA after so dang long.

LETS GET THIS JAMIE AND CLAIRE BREAD

“There was enough edge in his voice to remind me forcibly that we were not in my world - nor ever would be.” Well damn, James, don’t have to put such a fine point on it

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Oh cool. So we’re gonna just destroy the whole “Jamie whipped Claire’s ass but apologized and grew in his relationship” because 30 years later he wants to remind her how she deserved it, more than once

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COOL. THATS FINE. WHATEVER. #ABOSAA

I wonder if Diana thinks this is a fun callback to the first book. Does she think this is cute? Jesus fucking Christ what a hopeless woman. #ABOSAA

Oh as *IF* Ian fucking Murray could ever beat Jenny. AS IF JENNY WOULD EVER DO ANYTHING WORTHY OF AN ASS WHOOPIN. If anything it’s Jenny who tans Ian’s hide and WE ALL KNOW IT. #ABOSAA

Oh so Jamie thinks he can compare beating Claire to Jenny liking a good crack on the ass in bed. As if this situation is remotely the same.

God I HATE how cute this conversation is trying to be. YOU CANT BEAT YOUR WIFE JAMIE. YOURE NOT BEING KIND BY AVOIDING IT. FUCK U. #ABOSAA

I’m diving back into reading and I forgot where I left off so THIS SHOULD BE A GOOD DAY

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙃" title="Upside-down face" aria-label="Emoji: Upside-down face"> more reasons to curse Diana’s existence.

Ugh. Okay. Let’s do this. #ABOSAA

“Laoghaire drove me mad wi’ great regularity, but it never once occurred to me to trash her.”

“Well, how very thoughtless of you.”

Oh yeah. He didn’t “care enough” to beat her. So romantic of you, Diana. #ABOSAA

James Fraser you do NOT *own* Claire, and I’m not afraid to beat your ass for thinking so. #ABOSAA

Jamie is reminding Claire that he can do whatever he wants to her at any time and, naturally, Claire is aroused instead of being horrified

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙃" title="Upside-down face" aria-label="Emoji: Upside-down face"> naturally. Of course. No doubt.

Controlling and violent men are sexy, right?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unamused face" aria-label="Emoji: Unamused face"> #ABOSAA

Thank fuck that horrific conversation is over. If I see a hint of it on my tv screen next season I’ll march to the writers room with a pitch fork. #ABOSAA

Jamie: *sees a harmless snake*

Jamie: NOT TODAY SATAN. GET OUTTA HERE.

#ABOSAA

Malva: you know they say your wife’s a witch?

Jamie, who’s been spreading that exact rumour for damn near 30 years: WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY SUCH A THING ABOUT MY PERFECT WIFE

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#ABOSAA

This Tom Christie back story is getting messy and hard to piece together

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> what’s going on here

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #ABOSAA

Bree telling Jamie she loves him

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Jamie: *yeets his grandsons into a pool of water*

Brianna: JeMmY caNt SwIm WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING

Jamie: teaching him how to swim

Brianna:

#ABOSAA

Jemmy getting scared to swim and Jamie helping him by getting him to jump on his back and swim together

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> THERES SOMETHING IN MY EYE. #ABOSAA

Jemmy tracing the scars on Jamie’s back and asking what they are

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> Germain saying grandpere is a silkie because Fergus told him so

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> Jamie telling stories to his grand babies and talking about Scotland

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ITS TOO MUCH. #ABOSAA

Oh fuck me I have to draw Jamie piggybacking Jemmy home while holding Germains hand. Oh god damn it. AAAAAHHH. #ABOSAA

JEMMY. KISSED JAMIE ON THE BACK. TO MAKE HIS SCARS FEEL BETTER. OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN.

OH MAN IM ACTUALLY CRYING. #ABOSAA

So someone’s been

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> digging up graves

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> and casting love charms with dead body parts

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> that can only be a good time for the ridge

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> #ABOSAA

The entirety of North Carolina knows not to fuck with Jamie Fraser’s wife because of how fiercely he loves her. Meanwhile Roger breathes near another woman and everyone assumes he’s cheating on Bree.

Methinks someone is a shitty husband. #ABOSAA

Some child is screaming in agony because of appendicitis and Claire’s all “WOO I GET TO KNOCK SOMEONE OUT *AND* CUT EM OPEN. YEE HAW.” What a fuckin animal. #ABOSAA

This is an awful lot of Bree and Roger’s POV that I really don’t care about. Can we get back to Claire for the love of god. #ABOSAA

Bree sitting on her porch with Jamie while Claire’s singing can be heard from their window in the big house? Now THATS THE KINDA SHIT IM HERE FOR. #ABOSAA

CLAIRE AND FRANK TOOK BRIANNA TO DISNEYLAND EVERY SUMMER?? Okay now this is something I never knew I needed. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. #ABOSAA

Claire using her wedding ring to seal the wax on Jamie’s letter? Adorable.

Claire using her left hand... that has Frank’s plain gold band instead of the intricately designed silver band on her other hand...? Weird flex.

#ABOSAA

alright lads, we’re going back to River Run, where it’s All Drama At All Timez. #ABOSAA

BRIANNA PAINTED MINI PORTRAITS OF CLAIRE AND JAMIE OH IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> #ABOSAA

Is master Raymond... a mother fuckin time traveller?! IS MASTER RAYMOND JUST BOPPIN AROUND TIME? DID HE KNOW ABOUT CLAIRE???! oh my god. #ABOSAA

BONNET HAD A BULLET SHOT THROUGH HIS TESTICLE HAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHA

Honestly though wouldn’t it like... burst or something? How do nuts work? #ABOSAA

Claire found a new syringe and it’s made for penises yaaaaayyyyy

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> #ABOSAA

Mrs Bogues: oh mistress fraser! Tell my husband not to go deal with the rioters! They’re going to tar people! It’s dangerous!

Claire: This has nothing to do with me

Mr Bogues: your husband is holding off the crowd single-handedly right now

Claire: EXCUSE ME WHAT

#ABOSAA

The way people who don’t know Claire still recognize her and hesitantly look towards Jamie before considering fucking with her is my absolute jam.

Try it, bitch. You’ll get yer ass whooped by Mrs AND Mr Fraser

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤜🏼" title="Right-facing fist (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Right-facing fist (medium light skin tone)"> #ABOSAA

Claire’s sweat is always running down her breasts and no where else. You’d think a man wrote these books, honestly.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes"> #ABOSAA

A print shop on fire *and* a prisoner has escaped? Am I experiencing déjà vu? Or is Diana just unoriginal? Stay tuned. #ABOSAA

Jamie, sleepily: what are you thinking about?

Claire: the impending war and how it’s time for you to switch sides before you get yourself killed. You?

Jamie: how you’d make a really good whore.

#ABOSAA

Roger: wow my catholic in-laws came to my first sermon. How nice. How supportive.

Roger:

Roger:

Roger: okay so Claire clearly thinks this is hilarious. That’s good.

#ABOSAA

Jamie every single time he sees a snake for the rest of his damn life:

#ABOSAA

Malva best be staying the FUCK away from Ian or I’ll throw a chair at her. #ABOSAA

Lizzie: please stop cursing ma’am, the babies can hear you!

Claire: I was cursing??

A woman after my own heart. #ABOSAA

Why are all the Claire-centric plots in this book so damn nasty? Violence, injury, or explosive-murderous diarrhea aren’t a good time, man. CAN SHE JUST HAVE A HAPPY MOMENT? PLEASE?? #ABOSAA

Claire has sulphuric acid in her surgery

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face"> Claire’s talkin about how the only use an ordinary person has with sulphuric acid is to throw it at someone

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face"> I don’t think so. I DONT. FUCKIN. THINK SO. #ABOSAA

All this pandemic stuff on the ridge is a little too close to home and I hope it ends soon. I’m tryna escape my own pandemic thankyouverymuch. #ABOSAA

Claire is tripping some maaajor balls. what the fuck is happening?? WHY IS MY BABY SICK. SOMEONE CURE HER. #ABOSAA

WHAT. THE FUCK. THEY *CUT HER FUCKING HAIR OFF*???!!

Oh no no no. This won’t do. I DONT THINK SO. NO NO. NO. Oh my god. ohM Y GOD.

IM HAVING A MELTDOWN. #ABOSAA

No no no no no no no this is not how this works. NO. NO. oh my god I’m gonna cry NOT HER UFIOXXKKS FUCKING HAIR??!!!?’vnv #ABOSAA

Oh my god. I’m in mourning. Oh dear god DONT LET IT BE TRUE. IM IN DENIAL.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I refuse. No. NOPE. Oh the pain. Oh my GOD. #ABOSAA

*THIS IS WORSE THAN THE FUCKING ABDUCTION AND I WONT STAND FOR IT* #ABOSAA

Man. I can feel myself going through the five stages of grief. I’m so sad. I don’t think I’ll ever get to the acceptance stage.

Claire sweetie I’m so sorry this ugly woman did this to you. It’ll grow back.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> #ABOSAA

On the plus side, Claire’s gonna have a cute little curly bob when her hair does grow back out. That makes me... kinda feel better

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

At least cait would look hot with a buzzcut

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> it’ll be okay right

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> #ABOSAA

Which devil children tried to drown my sweet boy Henri-Christian they better line up for their ass whoopin. LITTLE DEMONS. #ABOSAA

Ya know. Maybe I’m okay with Roger. The way he saved Henri-Christian. The way he prayed over Claire and cried and told her she was beautiful. Maybe he’s okay.

Maybe I’m fragile right now. Hmm. #ABOSAA

Oh Fergus

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> oh my sweet son. WHY IS THIS SECTION SO SAD. MY HEART KEEPS BREAKING.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> #ABOSAA

Brianna, bursting into Claire’s bedroom: YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE!

Claire, sitting in bed doing absolutely nothing: well shit okay if u say so.

#ABOSAA

Claire all “Don’t worry, Tom, no one will be outraged by the sight of my hair anymore! Cuz I don’t have any!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Slightly smiling face" aria-label="Emoji: Slightly smiling face">” freakin hilarious shit mate #ABOSAA

Now wait. A god damn minute.

So Claire clearly didn’t have the flux. Since she just kinda dropped dead and spent a week hallucinating before waking up with all her hair chopped off.

And Tom Christie. Was also sick with something other than the flux.

No. No way.

#ABOSAA

DID THAT. LITTLE BITCH. TRY TO KILL CLAIRE. AND KILL HER FATHER.

DID SHE FUCKING CUT CLAIRES HAIR OFF BECAUSE SHE WAS PISSED SHE DIDNT DIE?

Oh it’s about to go down. If that little skank tried to kill Claire IM GONNA LOSE MY DAMN MIND. #ABOSAA.

“You are not allowed to kill yourself, do I make myself clear?” Aaawww Jamie your so freaking cute when you try to be bossy. #ABOSAA

Jamie: I’m taking all your clothes out of this room so you are forced to stay here.

Claire: I can’t wait for the entire ridge to see me climb out this window butt ass naked.

#ABOSAA

“It gives me the same feeling, Sassenach, to hear ye rustling about in your surgery, rattling things and swearing to yourself. If ye were no longer there - or somewhere - then the sun would no longer come up or go down.”

I’m glad Jamie and I are on the same page. #ABOSAA

Claire is scared to cuddle Jamie because her hair is too short and bristly GOD DAMN IT MALVA LOOK WHAT YOUR SKANKY ASS HAS DONE. IVE HAD IT.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔫" title="Water pistol" aria-label="Emoji: Water pistol"> #ABOSAA

Jamie

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> had a dream

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> about Claire going back

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> we all know

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> about Jamie’s dreams

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> oh no

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth"> oh no no no. NO. I DONT THINK SO.

HAVENT I SUFFERED ENOUGH?! #ABOSAA

I don’t want Fergus and Marsali to move THIS SUUUUUUUCKS. the whole point in the ridge is having their family together!! DID I MENTION THIS SUCKS? #ABOSAA

Well I guess the buzzcut was short lived but NOW CLAIRE HAS A LITTLE BUNDLE OF CURLS ON HER HEAD AND THATS JUST ADORABLE.

Okay. I feel better. If I don’t think about it too hard

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Slightly smiling face" aria-label="Emoji: Slightly smiling face"> #ABOSAA

Aaawww all the babies are crying because they don’t want the Fersali Frasers to move. This is so sad JUST LET THEM STAY

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> Ugh my heart. #ABOSAA

As someone who had their hair cut short/shaved, I’d like to point out that it should take at least a year before Claire’s hair is getting in her eyes - longer since it’s curly - but hey I’m glad we’ve discovered another one of her super powers. #ABOSAA

Can’t believe I was genuinely upset, thinking she’d spend years with short hair. Nah. Give it a few weeks and we’re back to normal.

Have I mentioned I hate Diana? #ABOSAA

I dunno if twitter is gonna let me tweet while it’s glitching, but I’ll try to continue this thread. Cuz IVE BEEN THINKIN.

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