Read on Twitter
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y 
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1 
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted
What’s the loudest pet you can get?
A trumpet
A trumpet
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
