One day I will do a Deloitte diaries and tell you the fucked up things that go on at the Big 4. Honestly, I have seen people paid £300k a year + claim back £1.50 on expenses for a muffin. I have seen Heads of Region urinate in a hotel lobby plant pot in the middle of a work party

One Director lost his job for sleeping with an audit client. The way it got found out was because his laptop got stolen out of his car. When asked where his car was parked, he said the driveway of the CFOs house. The CFO of the company he was auditing.

I saw a junior land a graduate scheme in tax only to be sacked for stealing printer cartridges from the stationary cupboard and selling them online, with an eBay account linked back to his work email

A grad schemern, at his first Christmas party, slapped a secretary on the ass. When the Head of London office saw this, he told the guy go home, sleep it off and it'll be a verbal warning. The guy decided to punch the partner, break his nose and gave the secretary a black eye

He got taken out in handcuffs by the police, sacked the next day, now works in recruiting

One Christmas party, at a swanky hotel, a maid was mopping the floor of the lobby. She went to clear bottles and stuff the party had left, a senior director decided to urinate in her mop bucket. When she came back she proceeded to mop the hotel lobby floor ...with the piss water

So when you join the big 4 you get to study for the ACA. You can only fail an exam twice before you get sacked. A guy two years above me failed an exam twice and forged a doctor's note for mitigating circumstances. It got accepted, he took the exams and passed.

However 2 years later, he failed another exam. He claimed his mum wasn't well. To prove this he provided a doctor's note. However the doctor was the same "doctor" that wrote the first letter and didn't actually exist. He was sacked and sued and banned from being an accountant