Thread by @LindsayWrites, I’ve been reading a lot of queries in @WriteonCon’s forums this year, [...]

I’ve been reading a lot of queries in @WriteonCon’s forums this year, and I’ve started to have some Thoughts about the basic bones of a query. Let me give you some background on my own query process before I give #amquerying advice. 1/?

When I was querying my debut novel, I queried 25 agents initially. I got requests from 20 of them within days.

Of those 20, 18 requested fulls, 2 requested partials. Long story short: I ultimately signed with my dream agent. 2/?

I worked very hard on my query letter. I got feedback on it in @WriteOnCon forums in 2017. I had CPs read it. I had writer friends read it. I did not submit it to things like Query Shark, but I did read TONS of query shark-type posts. 3/?

And I think it worked out ok. Bc not only did I sign with my dream agent, but the descriptive copy of my debut as posted by my publisher is pretty similar to my query. To me, that says my query was strong. I thought I would share my ACTUAL query here. 4/?

Before I go further: Please keep in mind the following is my OPINION on how to build a query. I am a writer not an agent. Do your research and understand what the agent you are querying is looking for, bc it might be different than what I am about to say. 5/?

So. What makes a solid query letter? We’ve all heard the basics: a strong hook, clear character(s), a plot summary that is informative but leaves us wanting more, and solid (but not too ridiculously ambitious) comps. Also, keep it short. 3-4 paragraphs at most. 6/?

But what ARE these things, and HOW do you do them in so few words? 7/?

I think the strongest queries are broken down into 4 parts (read: paragraphs). Those are:

1. The HOOK
2. The CRUCIAL CONTEXT
3. The STAKES
4. The PERSONAL INFO/COMPS

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(Do you see what I did there? I restricted you to only THREE paragraphs about your actual novel! I know, I know. I’m very mean.) 9/?

I get meaner: I also think the best queries are built out of paragraphs that are only 1-3 sentences long. That means you only get 9 sentences to sell your book’s entire plot!! IS THIS POSSIBLE?

(Spoiler alert: Yes. I’ll prove it.) 10/?

First: the HOOK. This is usually the very first sentence of your query. (imo, it should always be the first sentence.) The hook is the thing that really sets your story apart. 11/?

I think it is most effective to think of your hook as the HEART of your story. It is the thing around which the rest of the story revolves. So, to me, that is always character…and then what makes character that is different. 12/?

EXAMPLE

My query opened with this line:

“The tornadoes come from her mother.”

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Though I do not give my character’s name in this 1st sentence, I do tell you what makes her different. The heart of my story revolves around the fact that there are tornadoes in this girl’s life & they originate with her mother. 14/?

This opening hook immediately begs a question—which is what you ALWAYS want your hook to do. The questions: are the tornadoes literal? why do they come from her mother? You immediately know there is tension bw the girl and her mother, and you want to know why. 15/?

“Hook” literally means “to catch.” Questions CATCH your reader. Questions snag their interest and keep them engaged. Your hook needs to MAKE your reader ASK a question. Boil down the heart of your story to a sentence that makes your reader ask why, what, how. 16/?

WHY do tornadoes come from *her mother*?
WHAT does it mean for such storms to exist? Is it magic or metaphor?
HOW do these storms affect the character? The mother?

Keep in mind: you don’t need to answer all of these ??s in your query. Answer just enough to avoid frustration 17/?

After your ONE SENTENCE hook, you want to give your reader a little more information…but not too much. Think of this as Hook Pt. 2. You want your reader to keep asking questions. Offer info that will CLARIFY something important so that your reader isn’t frustrated. 18/?

EXAMPLE

My second sentence (Hook Pt. 2) was:

"Whenever Ruby “Red” Byrd is kicked out of another foster home, whenever she’s scared or angry, her winds rage and roar, and entire neighborhoods get rattled like a goat held by its ankles."

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My entire first paragraph of my query was 2 sentences long. But in those sentences I hooked you with the heart of the story, told you lots of important details about my character, introduced a Problem AND gave you a hint of the voice.

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Up next: CRUCIAL CONTEXT.

After your opening hook paragraph, you want to give a VERY BRIEF idea of the plot. You don’t want to detail the plot or give a blow by blow. Don’t clutter the query w/ lots of names and backstory. Give context in 2-3 sentences AT MOST 21/?

How to whittle your story down to 2-3 crucial details? STICK TO THE HEART OF IT. There are lots of things happening, but there should be One Big Thing the story is, at its core, always focusing on. For me, the Big Thing is Red’s relationship with family & her own needs/magic 22/?

So the details I chose to share give shape to Red’s central journey: her place in a family. What details most strongly inform your character’s most central journey? Is it their magic? Their broken family? Their love interest? Whatever is MOST CENTRAL=what you highlight. 23/?

EXAMPLE

The second paragraph of my query was this (ampersands and typos here only for twitter’s character count. Actual query was grammatically correct.):
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This time the wind blows Red into the home of a quirky middle-aged couple who live east of Denver &run their very own petting zoo, complete with a tree-climbing goat, dancing donkey, & a giant tortoise. Celine & Jackson Groove threaten to fit like a puzzle piece into Red’s heart.

2 sentences, but lots of detail. I introduce crucial characters, crucial setting/place, and a crucial point of tension: that the Grooves “threaten to fit like a puzzle piece into Red’s heart.” While introducing all of this detail, I also continue to provide a sense of voice. 26/?

What are the MOST ESSENTIAL details that give your story a sense of characters, settings/place, and tension? (Note: I say “tension” and not “stakes.” They are different, which I’ll address in a bit.) 27/?

My 3rd paragraph offers more CRUCIAL CONTEXT to the whole novel. It was this:

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"But Red knows that being a perfect fit with anyone other than her mom is impossible. Yet, Red can’t deny that impossible things happen all the time. In fact, she has a whole journal of impossible things to prove it."

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This paragraph is sneaky because it could be considered STAKES. But it isn’t. Not yet. It is still CRUCIAL CONTEXT. But it *does* provide another line of tension. So…what is the difference between STAKES and TENSION (in a query specifically)?

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Stakes are the driving conflicts of the story. They are what the character wants and what the character might lose.

Tension is about beliefs more than wants. Tension=what a character BELIEVES about their wants. 31/?

So, in my book, the TENSION is that Red *believes* her only family is her mother, and that nobody else can fill that role. I present my STAKES in the 4th and final plot-paragraph of my query, as follows (next 2 tweets for length): 32/?

"Just when she starts to settle into life with the Grooves, a new storm rolls in, one Red knows all too well: her mother."

"Red is easily swept up in the vortex of her mother’s chaos, but she must make an impossible decision if she wants to overcome her own tornadoes and find the family she needs."

Do you see the STAKES here? The stakes are clear in the last sentence: Red must make a decision. That decision plays into the TENSION hinted at earlier in the query, that is, Red’s belief in who is her true family. 35/?

To be clear: There are lots of smaller stakes throughout the book. But for the purposes of my query, I boiled the story down to the MOST CENTRAL stakes/theme.

That is the trick: you have to know exactly what question your ENTIRE manuscript is revolving around. 36/?

If you go back and look, you’ll see that I presented the ENTIRE summary of my book in 9 sentences. From hook to stakes, I used 9 sentences. And trust me: there is A LOT going on in my book. Boiling it down to 9 sentences was HARD. But it is the deepest heart of the story. 37/?

The last step of a query is the PERSONAL INFO/COMPS. This is the paragraph in which you tell us the title of the book, the word count, 1 or 2 strong comp titles that will give agents an idea of where your book fits in the market, and relevant biographical info. 38/?

A note on comps: Think hard about these. Don’t just throw out the biggest blockbuster book you can think of that’s marginally related to your story. Thoughtfully consider things like voice, themes & world building when selecting comps. Also, YOU DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE COMPS 39/?

A note on bio details: Only share the things that inform your role as the story’s creator. This is where things like #ownvoices or professional work (i.e. you’re a behavior therapist writing about kids with mental health struggles) come in. Don’t get too detailed here. 40/?

EXAMPLE

Here was my personal info/comps paragraph in my query:
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"ALL THE IMPOSSIBLE THINGS (60,500 words) is an upper middle grade magical realism novel. I have worked in marketing and publicity at [Big 5 Publisher], as a children’s and teen librarian, and as a freelance editor. I am an active member of SCBWI."

(Notice what I did not include? I did not include comps. This was a personal decision, and it worked for me. Do what works for you.) 43/?

(Another note: I did classify my book as magical realism in my query. This term is the subject of much debate, and out of respect for those in the conversation, I no longer refer to my story as magical realism. But I wanted to share my query as actually written here.) 44/?

Ok. Whew. LONGEST. THREAD. EVER. But I hope it might be helpful to some people. The tl;dr version is this:

Keep it succinct.
Hook us with the heart of your story.
Organize it as HOOK, CRUCIAL CONTEXT, STAKES and INFO/COMPS.

You do this, and you’ve got a strong query!

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Ok one more: Here is a picture of my entire query so you can easily read it all in 1 place. Be aware, this is the basic query that went to every agent: but I personalized the query for each agent based on my research. Those personalizing paragraphs are not included in this sample

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