i've been slowly working my way through the four and a half hour long g4tv halo 3 launch countdown special () and i feel the need to clip shit from this aggressively 2007 thing

i am ready for HALO

makes sense

help i am about to be p0wned

this video has all the commercials in it btw

(just realized i had the volume way down on these so heads up they're louder going forward)

a glowing review from METROID_51

EYYY IM GIVIN AWAY FREE CDS OVAH EREEEE

i did not add this music

sitting in front of my tv with a notepad frantically writing all of this down

dominating the local paintball park in my tactical spartan armor. going on a running riot

would you believe this bit went on for like 3 more minutes

thats too many

look out boys we got a !!!NON-GAMER!!!

help

bad ass

what the hell

junior! you blew it!!

this is going very well

this is going INCREDIBLY well

oh my god

incredible respect to adam sessler for managing to keep his composure during this segment

would you believe this bit ALSO went on for like 3 more minutes

ok i'm all halo'd out for now i'll come back to this later. don't worry there's still three hours left

it is energy sword sunday my dudes

what?????

worldstar! worldstar!!!!

halo

another classic of commercial

why is everyone who plays halo a criminal

even THEY'RE noticing

this exchange blasted my entire consciousness back to 2007

damn hes right

god

who remembers this Viral Classic

the gamers have returned

some frankly fucking incredible halo 2 launch party b roll in this thing

ok, i wasn't planning on clipping this but this is like the 6th damn time they've showed it, like it's the only 20 second filler promo they have or something

this will never work

honestly forgot (repressed?) how much of g4's commercial advertising was just this ad for dick pills with different footage

just tennessee things

i love the virtual audience

the virtual audience is my collective child and i will protect them at any cost

halo 2

damn, g4 bustin out the pc88

i am once again asking what the hell

i feel as though parodies of the bachelor were dated even back in 2007 (also this, like every other comedy bit so far, was also excruciatingly long)

alright i'm at my limit, much like the venerable "halo" series we'll finish the fight with the third installment next week

bonus clips for @slowbeef since he very kindly asked for the exact opposite of this https://twitter.com/slowbeef/status/1234290097111040005

gamers it is time to finish the fight and by that i mean if you respond to this thread with anything to do regarding adam sessler's weird twitter meltdown from a couple of days ago i'm muting you, i truly do not care

how is it going kristen

gamer hell yeah

warning: these are from the suicide girls segment and things are about to become Dangerously Horny

and what we want to do is play halo

halo

this is a lot

yeah! hell yeah!!!

truer gamer spirits there have never been

oh uh we're still working this angle huh

oh no

holy shit. what form of power is this

honest to god i snipped an end point for this clip like 7 different times but it just kept going. this is insane

tfw sticks

man of the hour

halo

please help him it is too crazy

lmfao what the fuck

me and the squad rolling up to game stop

here it is

this is powerfully dumb in a way i miss

the ultimate gamers have been found, their prizes have been awarded

tsubuyaku halo kiss

kinjirareta you and me

himitsu no halo kiss

naraku he one more kiss

ochiru made

oh i heard

we all heard

200X.mp4

gamer_who_has_met_with_any_amount_of_success.mp4

oh my god i forgot about tsquared. did they forget too? has he just been sitting there this whole time?

lmfao they are not having any part of this chief slander

so this whole time they've had """speedgamers""" playing through halo 1 and every check in with them has essentially just been like 10 seconds of "hey you guys still playing halo? that's great" so i don't think i clipped them. here is the conclusion to their gripping tale

he had my Back, when we were in the Shit; he is my brother andi love him

GANG GANG

i gotta grab a copy

an exciting new game for all the gamers out there

frick

folks........... that's halo

even when it was on the air, there was never a reality where g4 was "good". it was always really dumb and mostly bad, but i still watched the hell out of it anyway and unironically loved it (to a point, i dipped out when it became 24/7 cops and cheaters reruns)

i have some extremely powerful summer memories of bringing my little upstairs tv i played games on and my xbox downstairs, setting it up next to the big downstairs tv that was hooked up to the satellite, and doing nothing but playing ddr and watching g4 til my parents got home

it's very easy to be snarky about g4 but even though i never once in my life went "this is good television", there was still just something about it that drew me to it. it was, for the most part, the right kind of crossover of dumb and novel for a game obsessed teen at the time

and even though this special is teetering dangerously close to the era where g4 went full spike tv knockoff, it was fun to watch through it and kinda get that all again. i really do kinda genuinely miss it. thank you for following along!

oh and special thanks to @VektroidLive for screenshotting one of the chatroom segments like a month or two ago and getting me started down this rabbit hole