The feeling of guilt is pervasive in academic culture (and in other fields too I'm sure). There is always work you could be doing, so each time you take a break you have the potential to feel guilt for neglecting work. This is toxic to mental and physical health. @AcademicChatter

This obsession with productivity is so engrained in me that despite now working (very) part-time for myself I still feel it DAILY. Only now because I'm supposed to be enjoying this new-found free time, I feel just as guilty if I work "too much" as I do if I work "too little".

Add in my #ADHD and the picture becomes cloudier. I struggle with time management and get bored easily so it's harder for me to be productive in the classical sense (getting things done). I think this increases my guilt because it's so difficult to make forward progress.

A therapist once told me that guilt comes from the gap between expectations and reality. If that's the case then more realistic expectations should lead to less guilt. Although I have 20 years of experience to teach me how long things take, this is still pretty difficult.

In a perverse way, guilt has become like a drug that keeps me productive. Guilt causes anxiety and the only way to beat that is to just Do The Thing. I feel guilt so readily and my anxiety is so strong - I have managed to get a LOT done in my professional life. Twisted, right?

High productivity was part of what defined me, what I was proud of - even if it came from an unhealthy place. If I want to be healthier, I know I have to find a new way. A way of working that isn't driven by fear and shame, but by....something else.

I'm not talking here about WHAT I choose to do, but more about how and when I do it and how I feel about the rate of forward progress. To imagine thinking about my work and NOT feeling bad about what's left to do is so alien to me. I'm open to any strategies that work for others!