Many people try to use boundaries, canceling, calling out and the idea of holding someone accountable as a way to try to control others to behave the way we want them to. A more nuanced conversation is how effective is that when someone exists outside your sphere of influence?

Leading up to my next question which is, when you are not able to control or influence others to change, how much does that impact your own inner peace?

Is your ability to regulate your energy, your emotions, your vibrational frequency dependent on what others are doing?

Boundaries(how I teach) are not about trying to get someone else to change. A boundary is about articulating what you will do and perhaps consequences. This often means if someone crosses your boundary the consequence is you removing yourself. Still doesn’t mean they will change.

Accountability practices work best when we are relational, meaning we are doing the work within our sphere of influence.

Requests for change are an invitation. We have a greater chance to inspire, model, make requests or teach others when our presence actually matters to them.

Self care(and even self preservation) to me also means only investing a limited amount of my energy into trying to hold space for people to change, who I am not actually being relational with.

There are aspects of life that fall into my sphere of concern, meaning I care about change happening there but I do know my ability to influence is limited. Therefore I invest more where I am able to create change. And through that I grow more peace in my life and my community.