I just realized the issue I have with the accusation of being a know-it-all.

They think my passion for / engagement with all these topics is performative. That's the accusation.

For me, it's the abiding by social rules that's performative.

I'm performatively quiet and calm.

Authentic me is yelling about everything forever. Authentic me is excited about not knowing something, isn't invested in what I'm saying being right for its own sake, and making leaps that surprise people.

Authentic #ADHD me is Kal-el.
Performative normal calm me is Clark Kent.

That's why I've never understood things like "Have you considered that you could be wrong?" or "We know you're smart, you don't have to prove anything."

They think they're the audience.

And it's not about them at all.

It's this: https://twitter.com/Breanna_clark01/status/1230697316765421569

They assume that I'm working to present a smart or nerdy or passionate or engaged person to them.

And they base their statements on that. And they make no sense.

Because my experience is of CONSTANTLY DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO HOLD MOST OF THAT SHIT BACK.

Pictured: Me

Just like every other description of #ADHD fails at the outset. Just like how I didn't recognize myself in it until 30.

Because most of the common symptoms of #ADHD... aren't symptoms as experienced by the person at all.

They're behaviors that piss off parents or teachers.

Dash has one speed.

It's a very, very good speed for many things.

He's less... great about controlling direction. Particularly when he's not interested.

When he is? He LIGHTS THE FUCK UP.

I'd be shocked if he wasn't intended as an #ADHD metaphor.

https://twitter.com/sharkgirl09/status/1230701235163942912

When I get an accusation of being a know-it-all or similar from a friend...

This is why it hurts so much.

Not "they touched a nerve" (much as I may have thought this before)

But that, upon seeing the real, authentic me...

...they didn't see me at all.

https://twitter.com/NomeDaBarbarian/status/1230694896995954689