it looks like i'll have to write this thread earlier than i thought because GuESs wHo'S BaCk! this is the story of how BookLife Publishing offered me an interview for an illustration job last year, & how it all eventually went wrong. grab some popcorn, this is gonna take a while

march 2019: i'm delighted to find, after so many rejections, an offer of an interview at a Proper Book Company for an illustration job sat neatly in my email inbox. the company is based in king's lynn, a village aways away and book train tickets and an airbnb for the next week

the day before the interview arrives and i travel 4 hours by train to get there, rest for the night, and anticipate the interview in the morning.

the interview is pretty casual, i get taken around the place and shown different books that the company's published. they're a small company that publish education books and the person who interviewed me said that the owner of the company wanted to branch out into fiction

hence the hiring of an in-house illustrator. the first of many red flags that i ignored due to my desperation for a job was that they told me that they expected a page illustration to take 4 hours. the blood must've ran from my face because they laughed at my reaction and

told me that they needed to churn out these books like they had done with the non-fiction books. i asked them about corrections, and they said that wont be a problem. they also told me that i'd have to imitate the styles of other artists (another huge red flag deftly ignored)

they then said that it isn't a lot of money to be earned which i was expecting, but that "it's cool to have your name on a published book" as though that would make all those hours i spent trying to make these pages happen in future all worth it (narrator: it was not worth it)

another thing i remember was they asked to look through any art i had on hand, i had my practically filled sketchbook, and gave it to them to flick through. they talked about how they loved my use of colour but weren't sure of my determination to get things done quickly enough

i'm a fast worker. so i assure them that i can do it. they still aren't entirely convinced so they tell me that they're going to set up an art test and send it over to see if i'm suitable for their levels of Quick Work.
i shake their hands and practically skip back to the airbnb

that day i come back home, 4 hours yet again by train i remember it well because that was the day crit role opened their kickstarter and got to a million in less than an hour and i cried on the train lmao and i arrive home i'm excited for that art test. oh past alex i am so sorry

the art test arrives! there's a contract to sign (already an improvement on my previous hellscape of a freelance job but alas that is a story for another day) and a script to read through.
the contract first says £500 for 12 pages which eh it's an art test it's fine

it's not that much but it'll improve if i do well right?
hHAHAHAHAHHAHA
the next email i get from them says "wait it's £500 for 24 pages because it's 1 book and 2 separate stories. so it's £250 for 12 pages"
i sIGH through gritted teeth it's still fine! i ask for another contract

and sign that newly drafted contract. it's for an art test for a pROPER job so that i can finally move out, i thought to myself. it'll be fine! your hard work will be rewarded!
i look through the contract. they want this complete in 2 and a half weeks.

i crack my knuckles and get to work. starting with a page spread for approval. there are so many changes i have too many files for this one spread they want brighter colours, they want primary colours (then tell me to use oranges and purples, those are secondary colours mates)

[muzak plays for the obligatory contract intermission. ah look at this hellscape.]

soon the spread is approved and i move onto the thumbnails and illustration of the rest of the story. it's not my finest work by any means but i had to get it done. it's the equivalent of the gif of the artist drawing spiderman in 10 minutes, 1 minutes, and 10 seconds.

this was the 10 second version. there were so many changes and i worked to the bone to make sure it was as good as i could make it in 2 weeks. eventually it was done. sent off. approved and i was paid.
then it was onto the next story of the same book.

the same situation as before but they were wanting more backgrounds and characters so they gave me this time...3 weeks (how generous!). £250 for 12 pages.
i was losing sleep. my wrist ached. my eyes were dry from staring at the screen all day. 10 hours a day. 7 days a week.

more changes and fixes needed and i could feel what was left of my soul draining from my eye sockets. this has to be worth it in the end, right? this is for the art test for that Proper in-house job! it'll all be worth it in the end, i'm working so hard but it's fine!

when my wrist feels like it's about to burn off, i'm finally finished and send off the approved version of my work. not bad, all those pages in those weeks! now for the verdict!
i get an email in my inbox the next day and feel my heart leap into my throat.

"we have another project that will be perfect for you if you're interested!"
my shoulders slump. i'm confused. i write back "i thought this art test was to see if i'm suitable for the in-house illustrator position?"

the response?
"unfortunately we are not looking to hire an illustrator full time anymore"
i am so angry i throw my sketchbook across my room and scream. i can't even cry i'm so tired.

but stupidly...god STUPIDLY i accept the third project. why? maybe it was my dad telling me that this is probably the normal rates for illustrators and this is a normal way to behave, or just my pure desperation of doing sOMETHING. something to have on my cv or portfolio.

its 26 pages this time. £500. in 5 weeks. i was so tired and exhausted and drained by this point that i just needed something completely all consuming to take my mind off the huge gaping hole left by disappointment. was it me? did i not work fast enough? was everything i did shit

i work on the first spread as per the signed contract (yes it was signed, remember this for later) for approval. it was a book about fairies so it was fun to work on that spread. for the sake of my own happiness i put a cameo of my warlock's arch-fey patron in there

funnily enough this was the one the company pointed out and said "can you change his design, he looks evil" and i just laughed (he's not evil he's SAD there's a difference) but i'm going on a tangent

soon it was approved after a multitude of changes and i began working on the thumbnails. i completed them all in a day and immediately got to work on the book that day. my sister had to put my laptop away to stop me working.

i worked on the book every day. even in d&d sessions i was working on the spreads to not lose time (i'm sorry dnd parties that were affected by this). i was working on the 5th spread that i'd done for the book so far, when i see a thread by @/EmmaInky calling a company out.

she wrote about how £500 for a 24 page book in 3 weeks is outrageous and predatory for preying on the desperate and all i could think of was "oh no that sounds familiar" i felt ashamed and embarrassed and decided to reach out to her.

i don't think i thanked her enough for the skype conversation that we had and she's a wonderful and incredible artist (who you should all follow btw!). according to her, she had been approached by Booklife to do a book for them. and they had approached other illustrators too.

without my knowledge, they were reaching their grubby hands out to other artists while i worked my ass off going to an interview 4 hours away, going through an "art-test", slapped with a 'we're not looking for in-house illustrators anymore' & trying to get a book done for them.

i decided to contact Booklife. turns out, @theaoi had been made aware of the company and their exploitative and predatory and gross ways and contacted them themselves. Booklife tell me that this is their first time going fiction and hiring illustrators so this is all new to them

the project i'm currently doing is put on hold while Booklife waits for a chat with the aoi about you know...not exploiting illustrators. i've still done 5 spreads and the thumbnails.
few days pass, and it's decided that the project and contract is cancelled.

i'm not paid for the work i did for the third project.

and noW i hear that they're back, offering £600 for 35 illustrations when they said that it's "only a few spot illustrations and half pages"
there's no other phrase for it than FUCKING GROTESQUE.

how dare you. the excuse you had at the beginning that this is all new to you was flimsy enough, but now it's just a fucking sham. like it always was.

you preyed on my sheer desperation for a job, despite trying to convince me of the contrary. illustration is #notahobby but a job. i am worth more than my aching wrist. the hollow disappointment in my chest. those continual days i spent for weeks illustrating for pittances

ah i stand corrected, £650 for 34 illustrations (hOW GENEROUS!)

the funny thing is, unannounced some months later i received two copies of the book i illustrated for the "art-test". no note. no letter. no email.

but...it's all worth it because it's cool to have my name on the cover of a book, right?

i say absolutely not, and now it's time for a glass of wine (or many) and a lie down from the impending anxiety attack of writing all this down in one go
bless you and thank you so much for reading through this thread
END THREAD

small bonus:
may this be yet another lesson for you, booklife. illustrators TALK.

LMAO EXTRA BONUS BECAUSE I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT
i had to draw whole new illustrations to send to booklife before they even sent the art test to me to prove i could draw in other artists' styles. these are the them.