Um, I'm going to say "No." I worry about being a good teacher every single day, even on my week off. The fact that I worry does not make me a good teacher. None of you have ever seen my classrooms. You don't know the harmful things that slip out of my mouth when I'm not thinking.

You don't know the privilege, the whiteness, the racism, the gender constructs I encourage. You don't know how much I suck every day. "But Rose, the fact that you know that means you're on the right path!" Bull. I can know I'm doing wrong and still do it.

"Do better until you know better." Yeah well I think I know better but I don't do better. Is that because I'm apathetic? Scared? Ignorant? I don't actually know better? All of the above?

I worry every day about the dozens of students I know I'm not reaching, the MANY who say "I hate Spanish" to my face, to their teachers, parents, and classmates. I don't know how to do better. I'm not the teacher they need, even though I try every day to be.

I worry about being a good teacher. That does not make me a good teacher. Actions matter more than "thoughts and prayers." /Rose is grumpy, fin.