Thread by @gotfanfiction, I know I wrote that mildly serious fairy tale #geraskier au but [...]

I know I wrote that mildly serious fairy tale #geraskier au but like... I keep thinking about other fairy tale stuff but my brain tends to wildly swing between crack and angst so idek I'll just tell you

It's geralt who's been curse this time. He went up to an abandoned tower for witcher business and managed to get cursed by the previous inhabitant

But the thing is the curse was for this rando dead wizard's former paramour, mr dead jerk was banking on her being the one to walk in but she ran off with her SO of choice and he died for some dumb reason right after casting a spell that affects the next person to walk in

And our lucky winner is Geralt of Rivia

Anyways, he gets whammied, no one can figure out how to break it and not only is he trapped in this weird ass magic tower his hair is growing like crazy and it's just him stewing in this nest of his own hair

Occasionally wandering over to this hole in the wall that produces food from who knows where a few times a day. P much the only thing to do is read the twelve books and exercise and he's fairly certain he's going insane from boredom and then ppl start like... showing up

Turns out the spell also affects anybody who gets within a certain distance of said boredom tower and they find themselves wandering over to try and make Geralt yeet his hair out for amateur spelunking hour lol

Most of them turn tail and run when he pokes his head out and actual facts growls at them, but one doesn't. He, as a matter of fact, shows up everyday and sings stupid songs about Geralt's majestic countenance or whatthefuckever

Jaskier, the bard, insists he knows exactly how do undo the spell and won't Geralt be a dear and let down his hair so they can get to smooching

Jaskier: give us kiss darling

Geralt: fuck off

Jaskier: :'(

Downside: so many ppl have showed up and been scared off that now there's rumors and what have you floating around and it's a mishmash of garbage with little grounding in fact but somehow a bunch of royalty gets wind of the long haired beauty trapped in a tower

And they tell everyone at their court who leave and then tell THEIR courts about it and then the next thing our two lovebirds know is that the newly instated Get That Scary Witcher Babe Out Of The Tower Via Frenching contest isn't going anywhere despite Geralt's scary face

Or jaskier trying his best to convince everyone the babe in the tower isn't the most attractive person he's ever laid his eyes on.

Let's be real, folks, terrifying may he be, but Geralt is also hot like fire, and plenty of unscrupulous nobles would have uses for a witcher indebted to them. Especially one as handsome as this one (wink but also ew)

Soon everyone realizes they can't just scale the tower (it's door sealed shut when geralt first entered so that's out too). Geralt has to literally throw his ridiculous locks of lurv out the window, and whoever wants in has to climb them to get to him

Which is why everyone is shouting at him to let down his hair, a phrase that got real old real quick

Geralt is fucking done with nonsense and ready to be Back On The Path tho, so he starts letting idiots shimmy up for a peck, and Jaskier is defending his little camp right next to base of the tower with his gd life and still singing his dumb songs

Still the only one who's talking to geralt like he's a person, still the only one bothering to get to know him; he sends Geralt up new books, tells him what news he hears, braiding flowers into Geralt's hair and just generally not being a tool

And Geralt knows that, you know, if he let Jaskier up like he desperately wants to, that the spell would probably break and he'd be free (our wizard friend was a stupid jerk but romantic[??]) but like. What if he leaves after? What if he gets to know Geralt better

And decides that he doesn't like him actually all that much? What if he decides that the view up close is a lot uglier than the one far away; Geralt with his yellow eyes and sharp teeth and semi permanent bitch face is fairly off putting, which he never REALLY cared about

Before Jaskier came along being all dumb and charming and unbearably sweet, with his songs and flowers and the way he has stayed, even without a kiss, even with Geralt trying his level best to run him off at first

All of a sudden Geralt is out of potential curse breakers, and Jaskier is all that's left and he's afraid for the first time in his life and anxiety is pushing at him from all sides but he looks down and there's Jaskier, looking up and smiling and calling out a good morning

And Geralt throws his completely stupid rat's nest of hair out the window one last time and Jaskier scrambles up like he's got hell hounds on his heels and it's awkward and weird and he lunges forward and kisses the daylights out Geralt

And Jaskier never gave any thought whatsoever to the logistics of sleeping with someone who has hair literally all over the place but it happens anyways and the door has unsealed at some point but neither of them notice until geralt goes to grab a snack

But the mysterious food hole is out of business for the rest of forever and Geralt immediately hacks off his hair (it was spelled to be like indestructible or something) mid back, grabs Jaskier, and bolts out of the tower

And then they go on witcher adventures and have lots of sex and so on and so forth. The end

@mculadyloki I left the hair long for you lol

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