*not a football thread*

Some of you might be able to relate to this and some of you might unfollow me for talking about this, but this thread is about my internal battle with my religion.

All of my family grew up going to church and all are Catholic except my mother and

Brothers; we are ELCA Lutheran. If you don't know what that means, here is some info. The church believes that anyone has the right to have a relationship with both God and Jesus. It doesn't matter if they are gay or straight, a woman or a man, or anyone trying to find out

Who they are. The church teaches through love more than anything else.

I grew up going to this church almost every Sunday, including Sunday School and youth group on Wednesdays. At this time, I was a firm believer in God and Jesus and believed that He was both

Omnipotent and omniscient. As long as we were on God's path for us it was all good. If we messed up, that was okay, we just had to get back on the path God made for us and we would be good.

As long as I can remember, I have always believed in science over religion.

As an ELCA Lutheran, that was all good. As long as we were on the path that God made for us, we are good.

As I got into high school, my mindset about religion changed. I never understood the need to go to church because if you believe, He is all around us and we can

communicate with him anytime.

These thoughts kind of continued through high school and into college. My freshman year was the hardest year of my life, both personally and spiritually. With family members passing away, I challenged the all powerful God as he was killing

Good people. He had the power to do what he wanted and yet people were dying. To me, this couldn't be part of "his plan".

At this point, I believes that either I was being selfish or God was for taking the people I cared about.

This anger and resentment toward God stayed for a few years, but I had a feeling in my heart that I needed to give Him another chance.

I ended up becoming a camp counselor at Green Lake Bible Camp, the same camp I went as a kid.

I learned alot about myself and my

relationship with God, if there was one. Most importantly, I came to terms with who I believe God is, if there is a God.

I don't believe much that is in the bible, instead a see it as a set of guidelines on how to live your life, with care, compassion, and love.

To this day I go back and forth on if I believe there is a God. Personally, I like to think there is. Not one that is omniscient and all powerful, but instead one that shows us eternal love and compassion.

I don't know why I made this post, but something said I needed to. If you are struggling with your faith, it's all good. We all do. I have struggled for over 12 years with this. If you want to talk about it though, I'm always here.

As always, I love you all.