I know it’s late...

But I gotta tell y’all some weird shit that happened at the laundromat lol

THE LAUNDRY SWIPE

*a thread*

Ok. Context.

Remember I was tweeting about cleaning out my apartment? Out with the old?

About how much fucking laundry I had to wash?

Well, bitch I finally went to the laundromat...

...washed, dried, and FOLDED 9 loads.

Bruh.

What prompted me to go to this location was because they sent a coupon in the mail for a free 40lb wash...

Mama z loves free shit and deals so I’m like BET that’s one less load to pay for.

Right?

Ok...

Let’s set the scene...

I’m usually super sketch about laundromats

But this one was WELL kept. Organized. Bright. Clean.

WIFI. Music. Tv.

I’m like oh shit i might actually get my laundry done.

There were AMPLE amounts of washers and dryers.

Enough to keep to yourself and not be around everyone.

I like that.

Don’t be looking at my fucking dirty clothes and shit lol

Anyway—

Like I said. A bitch has 9 LOADS.

So my clothes took up the first 2 rows of the laundromat.

There were people there.

But it was a BIG laundromat. And like I said, we had our space and shit.

WE HAD ALOT OF ROOM.

Bitch..

I go to one small area where there’s not many people to sit down as my clothes washed.

Everyone was minding their business and shit.

Tell me why a man comes and sits DIRECTLY next to me on the bench..

Literally DIRECTLY

I have manners so I’m like hey... how you doing

You know?

Him: you got alotttttt of clothes

I’m like oh ahahaha yeah! It’s cuz I haven’t washed in months! I’m getting my apartment together

Blah blah

Just small talk.

Tell me why this random ass man gon say

“You should let my wife look through them when you’re done

I’m sure you could get rid of some and she loves new clothes”

Nigga HUH

I’m CLEARLY weirded out by this, right?

So I’m awkwardly like

0Haha... yeah.... I need all my clothes tho. I got rid of so many already. This is what’s left hahaha”

Which is true. Remember I was saying I threw away hella shit??

Bro.

The man goes “yeah, whatever you say”

And then gets up and LEAVES out the laundromat....

Literally LEFT. I’m on the bench like ?????

I thought this nigga was doing laundry... the shit was weird, to say the least.

Let’s move on.

The loads are finishing washing.

I’m going back and forth transporting loads to the dryers and shit, right?

Yes. I’m one of those people who read care instructions on certain clothes to know if they need to dry a certain way.

Right?

So boom.

There were quite a few items that I needed to pull from the piles cuz they couldn’t dry at high temps.

I was taking those clothes and hanging them on the laundry baskets the laundromat provide.

Shit like lingerie, some dresses.. jackets... etc.

Got it?

I had pulled one of my lingerie sets from the pile.

Threw it over the basket.

Also, I wasn’t concerned about anyone seeing my lingerie or anything cuz like I said

EVERYONE was MINDING THEIR BUSINESS.

Well... ALMOST everyone...

So. I put this particular piece of lingerie over the basket to dry.

And I hear a woman’s voice.

Sounded in VERY close proximity

“That’s some hot lingerie, girl!”

I turn around.

It’s a woman.

A crackhead.

I know a crackhead when I see one IDC

But again, I have manners.

“Thanks, luv!” I say. “Got it at blah blah, one of my faves”

The woman comes closer. WAY closer.

NOW I was uncomfortable.

At this point... I’m thinking like sis you gotta back tf up. She was ALL UP ON ME bro. I could barely navigate opening the dryer cuz she was so close.

Then she picked the lingerie UP, bitch.

“Wowwwwww this is niceeeeee”

I’m awkwardly smiling and fake laughing.

But really I’m thinking

Bitch, put my semi-wet lingerie down

I kid you NOT bro

This bitch starts holding it up to her body

“I just know I would look so good in this... right before Valentine’s Day, too!”

Shit was getting too far.

So I went ahead and politely grabbed it from her, throwing it into the dryer as an excuse to take it...

I’m thinking you know what. That lingerie can take a dryer cycle one time for the sake of getting away from this CRACKHEAD.

She’s like “oh girl, I’m sorry.... I just love clothes and I like to talk to people” or WHATEVER.

I don’t usually listen to crackheads fully sdskdkdjd

I go back to transporting laundry to the dryers.

At this point, I’m at the washing machine waiting for the lasttttttt load to finish.

And then there’s a tap on my shoulder.

“Ma’am, can you help me with this?”

I turn around and guess who, dawg.

The weird ass man from the bench, bro.

Apparently, he needs “help” putting a dollar into the change machine.

Apparently, “it won’t take his dollar”

Nigga.

Yeah. Aight.

But again... I have manners.

So I go over to the coin machine with him.

I quickly and EASILY feed that dollar into the machine.

Change came out.

I smile at him and then turn to get my clothes back.

He’s like

Wait wait wait do this one for me too please

I’m internally screaming at this point. But I go ahead and grab the dollar.

As I’m feeding it into the machine, y’all

I hear a door SLAM...

I was already feeling sketch about this dude and that woman

So I was already being aware of my surroundings.

So when I heard that slam.... bitch, I turned around.

And I see the same lady....

Standing at one of my fucking dryers

My lingerie in hand

Looking at me from across the laundromat.....

I was primarily shocked this bitch had the audacity.

With my eyes FIXATED on hers, I give the man his dollar and start walking in her direction

“..........yo....” I say

Bitch....
Before I could say or do ANYTHING ELSE...

She starts fucking running.

Actually RUNNING.

As she runs to the front

I’m just fucking looking

I have lots of lingerie. I wasn’t SUPER pressed.

I WAS pressed tho. Just not enough to physically CHASE her.

So basically, I watched this shit happen.

Y’all...

This was like a THIRTY SECOND encounter...

But I remember so vividly.

Once she got to the front with my lingerie

The man started running with her too

THAT was when I put the pieces together. LMAOO

So I’m literally standing there looking at the door.

They had already ran out that bitch.
They were gone.

I was like WOOOOW. Um... ok.

That shit caught other people’s attention. They’re like

“Wtf”
“Did they just steal your stuff?”
Then a lady called the attendant over.

One I told the attendant the entire story she took me to the main desk and pulled out a binder.

Showed me some pictures.

“Try to remember...” she says “did they look like this?”

I’m looking and shit.

It was them, bro.

What’s crazy is... the man was older.

He was well-kept.

Normal looking.

The woman was not, bro.

I wouldn’t have guessed off first thought they were together or whatever.

I’m like YEAH BRO. THATS THEM!!

The attendant sighs.

She’s like

Yeah they come in here looking different all the time... taking people’s clothes. We never catch on in time

I’m like

She asked if I wanted to call the cops.

Like I said .. I wasn’t super pressed.

Just weirded out.

Also, I bought that lingerie to wear for 23 so I was like EH. FATE????

I go back to doing my laundry.

Like I said...9 loads.

I was there for HOURS, bro.

my clothes were finishing up their dry cycles so I found a folding table off to the side, kinda hidden, so I could start folding them.

Shit was going normally.

Till I hear the sliding doors of the laundromat open..

Naturally, when you hear someone entering the place you’re in,

You look!!!

Right?!

Bro. It’s the crackhead woman.

And bitch

She was WEARING the lingerie.

With some fucking jeans and ugg boots bro.

Bitch.

Like I said. Where I was, I was hidden. You wouldn’t have saw me at first glance upon entering.

And it was deadass like 2 hours later.

I was just watching this bitch.

It didn’t even look good on her, bro. LMFAOOOOOOOO

I peep the woman go up to another woman who was washing.

The crackhead was all up in her space like how she was with me.

I’m like YO. she’s claiming her next victim!!!!!

I quickly and quietly locate the attendant trying not to be noticed because she clearly thought I left.

I’m telling the attendant like yo

Keep it cool but there’s the lady you been looking for lol

I had to snitch, bro

This was some FOUL shit.

The attendant calmly goes and calls the COPS LMFAOOOO

ALMOST RIGHT BEFORE the cops come in, the man from the bench/change machine enters

LMAOOO A MESS.

Please don’t hate me, y’all, and you know I only did this ONCE.

I gotta go to bed, I’m falling asleep mid-tweet. Today was exhausting as fuck

To be continued............

And bro. This shit gets a little crazier. Y’all not gon believe me

morning! If you can see this,
Congrats.

You made it through this morning’s Blocking Games.

Y’all gon respect a real bitch and her self-autonomy.

If I’m tired, bitch, I’m tired.

Take yo ass to http://mamaztheguru.com  and read other threads.

Anyway-

So.

I snitched on the crackhead. Attendant is calling 12. In walks the crackhead’s accomplice, and then he comes and sits on the same bench from earlier.

My folding table was adjacent to the bench.

When he sat down, he looked around, and our eyes LOCKED.

LMAOOO

He CLEARLY thought I’d left at this point.

Nope!

I see you. I remember you. And I peep yo game.

When he sees me looking at him, he gets up, bro.

Starts heading to the door.

But he can’t walk out

Because 12 is walking IN

LMAOOOOO

So he comes and sits back down,

I guess he was trying to play normal?

My thing is... I would’ve left. Fuck the BS. Lol like bro you know they’re here for you and yo lingerie stealing “wife”.

12 is talking to the attendant.

I’m folding laundry. Looking up every now and then.

Here’s what’s weird.

The attendant pointed to the crackhead. 12 walked over to her and started chatting.

They were across the laundry room so I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

But it sure didn’t look like he was slapping cuffs on her wrists or ANYTHING disciplinary!!!

Crackhead points at me.

12 looks at me.

And then, bitch, they started walking over.....

12 walks up. Greets me.

Tells me

“Ma’am. This young lady says you stole her wallet... so she took your item in retaliation...

If you just return her wallet, we can get this settled and cleared up”

I cannot make this shit up.

I wanted to fucking snap. Lmao.

At this point, I was fuming.

Because she was CLEARLY a crackhead.

Hair was matted, she had crust in her eyes. Was fidgeting.

....and wearing a lingerie top with jeans and Ugg’s.

Stop playing with me bro.

What would I want with “HER WALLET”

I’m like ok. LMAOO.

I rung the alarm bitch.

I was going IN. I’m like

FIRST OF ALL, oFfiCeR

I never met this woman in my LIFE.
SHE approached ME
After her ACCOMPLICE

*i pointed to the man*

Y’all he was “reading” a magazine. Trying to play Normal LMAO.

When I pointed, 12 looked at him.

The man DEADASS gon say with a fake ass accent

(Idk if it was really fake, but he sounded pretty American while talking to me)

“I’m sorry? I.. I don’t know this woman. I have to pick up my kids”

And IMMEDIATELY got up and walked out the door.

I look over 12’a shoulder for the attendant.

Like... did the bitch not show him their pictures???

What the fuck did this bitch say to him that had him thinking I really stole a wallet?

And why the fuck this bitch still got my shit on.

I’m like bro.

12: “.....ma’am”

I walk away to the desk and start ringing the bell.

Bitch come back up here. Show this mf the binder.

Up walks... another attendant I never saw before.

I’m like ??? Where’s the other lady? Blonde hair? She had on glasses?!

The new attendant goes “her shift just ended”

BRO

I’m like

PULL UP THE CAMERAS.

“We don’t have any”

lmaoooo FUCK this place, bro.

I’m like
Ok well get that damn binder and show this mf their picture.

She hands me the binder and I take it back to 12. Found the page.

I’m like bro. This lady been hitting licks here for a while.
This is my first time here.
ISSA SETUP.

12 grabs the binder.

The woman is talking about

That’s clearly not me

“That woman is brunette. I’m dirty blonde.”

Bitch.... it’s CLEARLY her. Anyone with eyes can see that, bro.

But 12 is DEADASS looking back and forth at the pic and the woman.

I’m like “I DIDNT TAKE A FUCKING WALLET PERIOD”

Me yelling that shit got people’s attention.

Up walks an old ass man.

He’s like

“Now I done heard enough. I was here when this young lady (pointing to the crackhead) ran off with her (pointing to me) clothes....

this is ridiculous, sir, she ain’t take no wallet”

So 12 closed the binder and thanks him.

Says to the woman “ma’am... that’s another witness account, I gotta escort you off the premises”

He places his hand on her cuffs.

The bitch is shook, right

She’s like

NO she toOk my WalLeT. ThAts NoT may piCtuRe

He has his cuffs out and she turned around so she can get cuffed.

But bro.

Then out of nowhere, she starts running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this point, everyone there was looking and everyone gasped as she took off

12 chased her LMFAOOOO

12 literally SCOOPED her little ass up.

/: her titty fell out my lingerie

It was secondhand embarrassment to say the least... and her accomplice abandoned her... it was a mess.../:

He had her in his custody, then apologized to me before taking her out to the police car.

The new attendant comes up to me all apologetic

I’m like “it’s cool man... as long as that shit got sorted out.... I’m not tweaking”.

I thanked the old man.

12 came back, I guess cuz she was in the car and asked if I wanted my lingerie back

I-
Nigga.....

NO....

Tf LMAO.

12 leaves again

Everyone was laughing and chatting about it and shit

The attendant came back up to me with a $50 laundry credit.

AYYYYY bitch, I’ll take it.

I finished folding my shit and went home.

Lord have MERCY.

Real quick-

ALL MY OTHER THREADS ARE AT
http://mamaztheguru.com . BINGE.
——
& Don’t forget to snag a deal on my Guru Guidebooks and Erotic Stories
FOR VALENTINE’s DAY

15% off - GURUVDAY
*OR* grab a bundle (:

Mama Z OUT

~FIN