i haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights and tonight isn’t going to be any different so i’m going to try and process why i have been feeling so poorly recently via twitter bc that is my brand (but i think what i have to say might resonate with a few folks)

it’s super possible that the start of a new semester has me more upset and anxious than usual but YIKES it has never been this bad. i have been feeling so incompetent and incapable in a way that has been more intense than i have before.

feeling dumb/other people seeing my as dumb is by far my largest insecurity and i’ve recently processed that i have internalized a lot from having a disability and from being from a rural community

i have been so sensitive to seeing elitist and ableist comments on twitter and other platforms (ESPECIALLY in recent political dialogue) because there is so much that i resonate with

there are so many assumptions that people from small rural communities are less intelligent than folks from larger suburban and urban areas and that hurts because some of the smartest people i know come from rural communities and have taught me a lot about ethics and logic

the term “educated” is subjective and i’m so tired of it being thrown around as if it’s some objective thing that is accessible to everyone. who are we to tell someone that they are uneducated when they form their own valid perspectives and world views based on their experiences?

i don’t know where this idea that having access to higher education=being a better ally or “woke” but how can you really advance social justice when you are excluding folks who don’t have the access/same walks of life that you do?

it’s hard to see sometimes but deep down i know that i am smart, but that’s not because i left my small rural iowa town. i am smart because i come from rural iowa. so much of what i’ve learned about empathy comes from being from rural iowa.

ultimately, i am a better person (not in comparison to others) because i am from a rural community.

anyways i guess i just want to add that in lieu of recent events: please don’t insinuate that you know more than me about conventional ag/iowa politics/rural living if you don’t experience those things, it makes me feel invalid. don’t explain my own experiences to me. thank you.