Look, let’s dispense with the pretense, shall we? Asmodan shows up, it’s three o’clock in the morning and you’re in your pajamies/underoos/fuckinbirthdaysuit as the legions of hell assemble the contents of Nowheresmalltown, Anglosphere, in front of this fuckin beast.

He’s big, he’s fat, he has anchorchains for nipple piercing jewelry, and naturally, your eyes go right between all four fucking legs of this abomination, straight to what’s really important in life: ugly, gross demon cock. It’s here, it’s queer, it could kill a deer.

All rational thought insomuch as there was any there to begin with is immediately dumped to make room for making an immediate deathwish dash under that taur-so because, it’s time to face the music: You’re fucking filth. You are slime. You are the grime of this world.

Proof?

1) As you hit the non-Newtonian gas of solid fuckstink roiling off this Prime-Evil piece of organodemonic sex-artillery, you are already devolving into a gross demon thing. Jesus Christ.

2) See that obscene, depraved thing suckling Asmodick like it was the last Milky Titty in the world? Yea? That’s you. You are that disgusting freak demon getting inflated like a cum-tick on Pure Yuck. You proud of yourself? Yea? Absolutely disgusting.

3) Now see? That bloated mutant caked in dry Satan Semen? Being rolled like Violet Fuckin Beauregard by shitty imps somehow even shittier than shitty oompalopahs? Yea, you got it, it’s goddamn you. Getting rolled off a cliff into a ravine.

What’s this? A thousand, thousand used condoms made out of pathetic cum-addicted slimy slutfreak lesser demons, just like you? Surprise: this is what’s left of the universe’s loseriest failures of a species: humanity. All gone, you gurgling pest.

Now hurry up and digest, or grow more crab legs, or whatever it is used condoms do to become marginally less useless demons again.

Or don’t, you know. Just fucking lay there in the mud, cumming just from your own garbage existence as a disposable sex object for Asmodan.