how do dudes go on about how sci fi has this NEW SJW AGENDA when in the first 10 min of StarTrek TNG thereâs a speech about how stupid militarisation + imperialism is, which Picard agrees with, then a crew member who looks like he plays football walks by in a uniform with a skirt
in 1987.
yeah I finished Nightflyers so I needed more space shenanigans urgently
Iâve never seriously watched any trek except discovery but I keep recognising things from memes
how long have yall been keeping tasha yar a secret from me
[pause to get more brownies]
wes crusher spliced recordings of picard so he could pretend he was ordering him around good LORD
I cannot believe they tried to make out Tasha is a heterosexual. This is appalling.
au where tasha yar is captain phasma
so good he wore it 2 episodes running
https://twitter.com/jaymc82/status/1226529342966071297?s=21 https://twitter.com/jaymc82/status/1226529342966071297
https://twitter.com/jaymc82/status/1226529342966071297?s=21 https://twitter.com/jaymc82/status/1226529342966071297
netflix stop asking me to skip the TNG intro why would anyone do this
oh god this is the 80s-unitard-sex-planet episode

Picard angrily doing the Hamlet monologue at Q. Now thatâs some good shit.
Q and Riker, sitting in a tree
there hasnât been a single episode so far that hasnât been at least like 60% ridiculously horny. everyoneâs into everyone. planet spandex. Q!Riker summoned Worf a Klingon babe in an 80s Cher outfit, and turned Wesley into Rocky and LaForge was like, hello

like, calm down for five minutes, enterprise. youâd all shag if you didnât have to work together, we get it. does starfleet forbid sorting yourself out or something.
dataâs brother is a butthead
trek update: a matriarchal planet made riker wear this spangly satin number with one tit out and troi and yar are making fun of him
RIKER PLAYS THE TROMBONE. AND HE CALLS IT A BONE.
wardrobe goals: deanna troi. well-fitting one-pieces with cool belts, in a range of colours.
Picardâs ex has beamed aboard and his new twink is a fucking inspector HIGH DRAMA 






âitâs a good thing youâre cute Wesley or you could really be obnoxiousâ bold of her to assume one canât be both
the away team are stuck on a planet and Dr Crusher fell down a hole and now LaForge is separating the ship and going to the battle bridge
this funeral scene is not fucking cool not cool at all
oh boy I love me a good Time Distortion episode. though I do keep thinking...
Riker just wondered aloud how the heck humans survived the 21st century and, like, same.
shdhfbf some rich arsehole got cryogenically frozen and woke up on board the enterprise like I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER sit down pal jean luc does not have time for this
RIKER HAS A BEARD

âdoctor pulaskiâ excuse me whomst
she called data âdattaâ I donât like her
Captain Picard has never played with puppies?? remedy this at once. put the creepy child out the airlock and devote the rest of the episode to a Picard buzzfeed puppy interview.
god I bet the creepy child sabotaged the containment thingies I HATE THIS EPISODE
I KNEW it
*bangs fists on table* airlock! airlock! airlock! airlock!
*bangs fists on table* airlock! airlock! airlock! airlock!
I have to say I adore Wesleyâs new uniform in the grey-blue with the knit shoulders. Is this special âboy geniusâ department colours or sth.
now 2x02 didnât start with captain or first officerâs log I am uncomfortable
Iâm not criticising jean luc for a second but Iâm just saying that if I was captain of the enterprise I would have doctor pulaski on report and on a diversity awareness course if not in the fucking brig
mr worf get her off my bridge
this Okona prick is what some people honestly seem to think Han Solo is like
I wasnât able to tweet along as I was watching on my phone on the bus but rest assured I was Furious about dr pulaskiâs shit-talking data almost leading to Moriarty taking over the Enterprise.
She smirks the whole time sheâs saying it as if sheâs just imparting some time honoured wisdom that these kids will come to understand in time, about how data is far inferior to humans and itâs cool to tell him all the time I HATE IT
âtake my worfâ is the funniest line on this show so far good job data
whoâs the bigger douchbag riva or the dude who acts as the âvoice of his libidoâ or what the fuck ever
run deanna run
this next episode is called âthe schizoid manâ which bodes, uh, badly

âdid you damage your face data?â I honestly just made a terrible sound on the bus home
are the whole crew going to have beards by the end of the series
âa fine, full, dignified beard, one which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignityâ im DYING
âwhen I stroke the beard thusly, do I not appear more intellectualâ fffffffffffffffff
oh fuck is this a trolley problem episode please no
update it isnât but it IS another episode where loads of people continually ask data a load of rude questions and openly chuckle at his efforts to be more human and Iâm quite cross about it tbh
also itâs yet another episode where the gang meet a rich and powerful man who is blatantly a complete arsehole and whose ego and hubris puts people if not planets in serious danger. and people still hearken back to this as the days before sci-fi was âpoliticalâ

this one is an Intellectual 




motherfucker you get you creepy ass consciousness out of data right now
guys I love data so much. I know nothing is going to happen to him but. nothing better happen to him. you know?
ohohohohoho its time for dr pulaskiâs evaluation is it? well captain I have some feedback
[opens PowerPoint]
[urgently taps pointer at first slide, which says SHEâS MEAN TO DATA in comic sans]
[opens PowerPoint]
[urgently taps pointer at first slide, which says SHEâS MEAN TO DATA in comic sans]
they couldnât have sent Worf as the exchange student with the Klingons??
heâs eating something wriggly to impress a Klingon lady
enterprise come get your man

the Klingons all have daddy issues is this the episode weâre finally going to find out about Rikerâs 




âIâm your captain nowâ
jesus was the Klingon exchange student episode the single one in this season where data gets a fucking break
jean luc donât you dare let this dreadful man take him away and take him to bits and keep calling him âitâ I swear to god
data has a hologram of tasha yar in his belongings oh nooo I shouldnât have watched this in the office 




this whole courtroomâs out of order and it hasnât even been convened yet
o fuck me that was all a lot
once Iâve calmed down Iâll probably have a lot of opinions about how a judge heard the appeal against her own summary ruling, forced a friend of the defendant to prosecute him, then accepted dinner (and probably a bit more) from the defence after ruling in his favour
the episode is called âThe Measure Of A Manâ and I kept thinking of the line in Scroogeâs song at the end of Muppet Christmas Carol that goes âand if you want to know / the measure of a man / you simply count his friendsâ

the enterprise crew are such good friends guys nobody look at me
ooooh Picard just straight up hung up on a Romulan captain in the middle of the neutral zone
trek update: the enterprise found some floating rubbish with NASA logos on it, now the away team are trapped in a casino. Data is wearing a Stetson.

I am so far away from being able to watch Picard and this already has me
https://twitter.com/startrekcbs/status/1230945286358470656?s=21 https://twitter.com/startrekcbs/status/1230945286358470656

jfc they couldnât have warned Picard before asking him to come down to the shuttle bay and look at his half-dead evil twin? thatâll fuck you up.
guys have you SEEN this magnificence
https://twitter.com/chloecumming/status/1230777735544541184?s=21 https://twitter.com/ChloeCumming/status/1230777735544541184
https://twitter.com/chloecumming/status/1230777735544541184?s=21 https://twitter.com/ChloeCumming/status/1230777735544541184
Troi is telling Picard off for yelling at himself
holy shit jean luc

he shot himself 
I screamed 








his other self not, like, himself but it was STILL A LOT TO DEAL WITH
well in the next episode Riker is clearly not taking this new job but Iâm clearly anxious about it anyway

rikerâs dad: hi Iâm proud of u son
riker:
riker:
me and that lowly transporter room ensign:
and Worf just bitched out Wesley this episode is HIGHEST DRAMA
Dr Pulaski totally banged Rikerâs dad I am deceased
âwith all due respect... BEGONE! ... sir.â Iâm stealing this Worf line you never know when youâll need it
Riker is literally fighting his father, in a ring, with their eyes covered and with some sort of broom - fucking hell Riker just told him he should have died instead of his mum this is brutal
oh now theyâre talking about their feelings and hugging

neat how the doors on the Enterprise know when someone wants them to open and when theyâre just hanging around nervously right outside like a dork
neat how twitter crops the captions off preview images so it just looks like Iâm super excited about Guinanâs hat. I mean, I am, but not JUST that.
Q what the hell is your problem
THAT EPISODE WAS VERY EXCITING
aw I love it when Picardâs all grumpy

wait so Picard .... literally has a broken heart
update: he broke it in a bar fight. which he started.
so after the last few SUPER EXCITING AND INTENSE episodes TNG decided to lighten things up and have the captain nearly die on an operating table
OâBrien is a good dude. He just does his job and doesnât get involved in any drama.