Getting to Know Your MCU Stans

A Thread...

The best thing about this, if anything in this thread offends you... you’re an MCU stan. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll let me know if you find any of this triggering for you. I look forward to it.

• They hate Jeremy Renner because he “slut shamed” a fictional character
• They hate Hawkeye/Ronin because he killed criminals (also thinks he’s racist because he killed the Yakuza)
• Hates Wanda because they think she was white washed (“sHe’s rOmANi!” Her dad’s white)

• Steve and Bucky aren’t just best friends, no, they are head over heels in love (because 2 guys can’t just be friends)
• Winter Soldier and Loki are precious angels despite being mass murderers (Ted Bundy would’ve loved you guys)

• Hates Howard Stark more than Tony does
• Thinks that Marvel loves fat shaming characters (Thor got huge and the avengers reacted. Red Guardian got fat and his old friends noticed. It’s not like they told those fuckers to eat a salad or some shit. Damn.)

• Fuck Rocket for slapping Thor during his panic attack and depression (Rocket’s an asshole. We’ve known this.)
• Steve’s ending sucked because he moved on and Peggy got married (It created a new timeline and Steve deserves to rest. She clearly loves him too.)

They talk like this:

“Sksksksksksks”

“I-“

“We-“

“Sis”

“Anyway, stan...”

• Doesn’t read comics. If they do, it’s the most recent ones and only a small quantity
• Has never seen the cartoons or played the video games
• Only cares about evil dudes with broken mentalities that need healing

MCU Stans, from the bottom of my heart... I hope you fall in love with Ego. Guess what he’s gonna do to ya. I’d say ask Peter Quill’s mom but... you know.