Good news, everyone: I'm not drinking this year until mid-March, so I've decided to buy and rate 37 different Pukka teas.
Lemongrass & Ginger
It's an inauspicious start, as this is indiscernible from good ol' fashioned lemon and ginger. Not nearly enough tang for my money, Clive.
It's an inauspicious start, as this is indiscernible from good ol' fashioned lemon and ginger. Not nearly enough tang for my money, Clive.
Three Ginger
Like a fine wine, or the album Transference by Spoon, this one gets better with age. A smooth start with a kick at the finish. Drinkable.
Like a fine wine, or the album Transference by Spoon, this one gets better with age. A smooth start with a kick at the finish. Drinkable.
After Dinner
You'd wouldn't think any less of the ambassador if they served this one up. Savoury across the board despite not tasting of anything in particular. Packet dribble courtesy of child.
You'd wouldn't think any less of the ambassador if they served this one up. Savoury across the board despite not tasting of anything in particular. Packet dribble courtesy of child.
Supreme Matcha Green
Our first encounter with the ubiquitous matcha but certainly not our last. What do I think about it? I think it barely tastes of anything mate.
Our first encounter with the ubiquitous matcha but certainly not our last. What do I think about it? I think it barely tastes of anything mate.
Three Cinnamon
It's like, how much more cinnamony could this be? And the answer is none. None more cinnamony. Also a strong aftertaste of bark, which to me is a plus.
It's like, how much more cinnamony could this be? And the answer is none. None more cinnamony. Also a strong aftertaste of bark, which to me is a plus.
Mint Refresh
A solid, honest to god, comprehensive and workmanlike mint tea. No messing about here, lads.
A solid, honest to god, comprehensive and workmanlike mint tea. No messing about here, lads.
Sweet Vanilla Green
More sickly than sweet, and not getting much from the green tea. A disappointment.
More sickly than sweet, and not getting much from the green tea. A disappointment.
Three Fennel
Wasn't aware I'd be into vegetable tea, but so it has come to pass. Got a lot of time for all three of the fennels herein.
Wasn't aware I'd be into vegetable tea, but so it has come to pass. Got a lot of time for all three of the fennels herein.
Wild Apple & Cinnamon
Not sure I'd know a wild apple if I saw one walking down the street, but it's a tremendous flavour mixed with cinnamon. Like the middle of a McDonalds apple pie, particularly given the risk of scalding.
Not sure I'd know a wild apple if I saw one walking down the street, but it's a tremendous flavour mixed with cinnamon. Like the middle of a McDonalds apple pie, particularly given the risk of scalding.
Rooibos & Honeybush
Savoury and compelling. Bit like a normal tea without milk and an acceptable level of sweetness. Could probably smash two of these in a row tbh.
Savoury and compelling. Bit like a normal tea without milk and an acceptable level of sweetness. Could probably smash two of these in a row tbh.
Clean Matcha Green
I'm not a fan of green tea. I'm really not a fan of matcha. I'd prefer a cup of hot water to this. An empty cup would also do.
I'm not a fan of green tea. I'm really not a fan of matcha. I'd prefer a cup of hot water to this. An empty cup would also do.
Earl Grey
Same as any other common or garden earl grey, but potentially a little light on the bergamot. Inoffensive.
Same as any other common or garden earl grey, but potentially a little light on the bergamot. Inoffensive.
Licorice & Cinnamon
This promised much, but ultimately was all sound and fury signifying nothing. Something about the spelling of licorice feels off as well.
This promised much, but ultimately was all sound and fury signifying nothing. Something about the spelling of licorice feels off as well.
Three Chamomile
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could put three chamomiles in one teabag, that they didn't stop to think if they should. No matter because this is fine.
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could put three chamomiles in one teabag, that they didn't stop to think if they should. No matter because this is fine.
Blackcurrant Beauty
Leaving aside the name, which I believe is likely to place in the 3:10 at Kemptown, this is a sensational bit of business. Full bodied, rich, tasty. Tops off.
Leaving aside the name, which I believe is likely to place in the 3:10 at Kemptown, this is a sensational bit of business. Full bodied, rich, tasty. Tops off.
Lean Matcha Green
The last sip of this had some real promise, but everything before that was a waste of time. A waste of teatime. And not worth your time.
The last sip of this had some real promise, but everything before that was a waste of time. A waste of teatime. And not worth your time.
Tulsi Clarity
Never heard of tulsi to be honest with you Clive, but this is rather nice. Floral and spicy in equal measure. I've got a lot of time for it.
Never heard of tulsi to be honest with you Clive, but this is rather nice. Floral and spicy in equal measure. I've got a lot of time for it.
Turmeric Gold
File this one under aggressively savoury. I feel like I've eaten a meal lads. Packs a substantial punch.
File this one under aggressively savoury. I feel like I've eaten a meal lads. Packs a substantial punch.
Cleanse
This one's alright actually. Not that distinctive but certainly refreshing. Could I pick it out of a lineup? No, but that's not really necessary in this context.
This one's alright actually. Not that distinctive but certainly refreshing. Could I pick it out of a lineup? No, but that's not really necessary in this context.
Vanilla Chai
What can I say, I'm a sucker for a chai and this is a consumate example of the genre. Can I taste any vanilla, though? Can I fuck.
What can I say, I'm a sucker for a chai and this is a consumate example of the genre. Can I taste any vanilla, though? Can I fuck.
Mint Matcha Green
You wouldn't steal a car. So why would you ruin a perfectly good mint tea with matcha? You've got some explaining to do.
You wouldn't steal a car. So why would you ruin a perfectly good mint tea with matcha? You've got some explaining to do.
Three Mint
Now that's how you do a mint tea. Proper minty, this one. Refreshing. Lots of mint taste. It's a great mint tea, is what I'm trying to say.
Now that's how you do a mint tea. Proper minty, this one. Refreshing. Lots of mint taste. It's a great mint tea, is what I'm trying to say.
Peppermint & Licorice
I'm sorry lads, but this is far too saccharine for my tastes. Peppermint entirely overshadowed, unforgivable.
I'm sorry lads, but this is far too saccharine for my tastes. Peppermint entirely overshadowed, unforgivable.
Three Tulsi
I still haven't bothered to work out exactly what tulsi is, but if anything the mystery is only improving the taste. Delicious! Sensational work from the Pukka lads here, I'm absolutely in awe.
I still haven't bothered to work out exactly what tulsi is, but if anything the mystery is only improving the taste. Delicious! Sensational work from the Pukka lads here, I'm absolutely in awe.
Star Anise & Cinnamon
Not sure about this one. Slightly too sweet and very little punch from the star anise. Cinnamon content acceptable.
Not sure about this one. Slightly too sweet and very little punch from the star anise. Cinnamon content acceptable.
Peace
I can certainly see how this one would calm you down, unlike the song of the same name by Sabrina Johnston which is actually quite stressful. A decent herbal tea.
I can certainly see how this one would calm you down, unlike the song of the same name by Sabrina Johnston which is actually quite stressful. A decent herbal tea.
English Breakfast
It's not a bad tea by any means, but in a world of your Clippers, your Yorkshires, it can't compete. Not the worst way to start your day.
It's not a bad tea by any means, but in a world of your Clippers, your Yorkshires, it can't compete. Not the worst way to start your day.
Womankind
A pleasing note of citrus in this, but a sense that you'd probably need about half an hour brewing for the fullest flavour. I simply don't have that kind of time. Middling to fair.
A pleasing note of citrus in this, but a sense that you'd probably need about half an hour brewing for the fullest flavour. I simply don't have that kind of time. Middling to fair.
This one is alright! A step up from your usual chamomile, without too much artificial sweetness. A fulfilling tea.
Detox
They've rebadged it you fool! Now known as Feel New in a bid to avoid association with spurious health claims, this is a pedestrian effort that I won't be revisiting.
They've rebadged it you fool! Now known as Feel New in a bid to avoid association with spurious health claims, this is a pedestrian effort that I won't be revisiting.
Night Time
This is perfect actually because I'm just about to go to bed. A fine old mix, slightly sweet but does the job. Servicable.
This is perfect actually because I'm just about to go to bed. A fine old mix, slightly sweet but does the job. Servicable.
Three Licorice
Oh I don't like this one at all. Tastes like saccharine water. No redeeming qualities. Get it out of my kitchen.
Oh I don't like this one at all. Tastes like saccharine water. No redeeming qualities. Get it out of my kitchen.
Elderberry & Echinacea
You're looking at a four star herbal tea right here. A bit of sweetness from the fruit and nothing to dislike with the echinacea either. Highly recommended.
You're looking at a four star herbal tea right here. A bit of sweetness from the fruit and nothing to dislike with the echinacea either. Highly recommended.
Lemon, Ginger & Manuka Honey
When it comes to ginger in a hot drink, I firmly believe you should go hard or go home. This does neither. Still, it's refreshing I suppose.
When it comes to ginger in a hot drink, I firmly believe you should go hard or go home. This does neither. Still, it's refreshing I suppose.
Original Chai
Going out on a chai - sorry, that should say high - as this is the last of the thirty-seven teas I'm rating. A superb beverage with spice and flavour in equal measure. Thanks a lot and good night.
Going out on a chai - sorry, that should say high - as this is the last of the thirty-seven teas I'm rating. A superb beverage with spice and flavour in equal measure. Thanks a lot and good night.