there's a whole kind of chinese armor that is EXTENSIVELY documented in sculpture but we STILL have no idea what it really looked like, how it was made, or even if it was REAL and this probably the dumbest thing to make me angry on a regular basis

...alright, since you asked: the guy on the left here is wearing Chinese mountain scale, or scale pattern armor. It start appearing in art in the Tang dynasty and hasn't really stopped, and yet we have LITERALLY ZERO archaeological evidence, or texts detailing how it was made

One theory is that it isn't real, that it was an artistic convention representing something else, probably chain mail. A historian named Charles Henry Ashdown is notorious for misinterpreting a sculpting technique in medieval knight's funeral effigies.

He invented a whole category of armor to explain what turned out to be...probably just another weight of chain mail. The myth of ring mail set armor scholarship back quite a bit, but nerds latched onto it, so you can still wear it in D&D. That's actually kind of relevant.

Mountain scale is the new ring mail. We've got no historical evidence, but hundreds of amateur military historians (me included) are OBSESSED with trying to figure out what it really was. It's mostly long forum arguments, but a few people have tried to test their theories.

A big problem is the representation is inconsistent. Does it have a peak at the center? A ridge? Multiple ridges? Grooves? A divot? Smooth like a shark? Who knows!

Another problem is that where it appears in sculpture it seems to have been fairly flexible, curving around a shoulder at least and sometimes around a whole boob (this, at least, is probably artistic license). But recreation attempts haven't achieved even the minimum flexibility.

It also doesn't seem like it would be all that effective, compared with standard lamellar or chain? Hard to be sure, since we don't really know how it went together, but none of the configurations I've seen have looked very convincing in terms of balancing coverage and weight.

All those little peaks and valleys? TERRIBLE protection against piercing weapons. They'd be more likely to catch an arrow than deflect it. Here's some more interpretations, but if you ask me, they're just...a bit silly

Most interpretations are pretty, but they aren't better protection than square lamellar or standard chain, and they would be HUGELY more labor-intensive. And this is armor that's shown worn by HORSES. Aesthetics can be important in armor but...not that important.

The thing people keep coming back to is "maybe it's just chain mail," but it's clearly shown alongside mail that looks like mail - and chain that looks like scale, and lamellar that looks like lamellar. But we must ALSO remember Charles Henry Ashdown and his rings.

Nobody wants to admit that...maybe it just isn't real. Maybe an artist drew the pattern once and everyone thought it was cool. It's worth noting that the pattern itself shows up in textiles as well - though of course I can't find an example right now.

My pet theory-and realize that I have no evidence-which I developed just now is that it's quilted or embroidered cloth, maybe enclosing metal plates to make a brigandine or maybe not. That theory is inspired by this image:

We see the mountain scale (cuirass front and back), and lamellar (back of neck and sides of torso), but the pattern on the tassets and pauldrons is something else. I'm betting that's fabric. It could be elaborately woven leather strap or something but...why.

A bunch of leather straps would probably be less effective than leather lamellar, so why do it. But fabric, you can cover anything with fabric. And quilting is good! Quilting is surprisingly effective protection! I've got no evidence though, just another theory.

Here's the thing..........it's probably chain mail. That's the problem with armor history. All my evidence here is that both of these depict chain mail. It's usually chain mail.

hOLD UP, I HAVE NOW ENCOUNTERED THIS PATTERN FOR THE *FIRST TIME EVER* ON AN ACTUAL HISTORICAL PIECE OF ARMOR it's on c. 16th century horse armor from Tibet or Mongolia, and it's very extremely small. This explains NOTHING