I wonder if anyone else has noticed this trans community situation that brought me off discord and Reddit and to twitter in the first place:

There's no one there except eggs, freshly cracked eggs, and people like <1 year into transition

Where does everyone else gooo??

It's always been my theory, from spaces I've been in, whether /r/traa or /r/egg_irl or large thousand+ person strong trans communities like TTAF or the Hatchery, that these spaces naturally appeal to and attract burgeoning very-early-discovery stages trans people...

...which, being user-driven content spaces, creates the "issue" that the content and use of those spaces is *for* those very-early-discovery stages trans people

And this does have some huge benefits. I'd argue any of these spaces does tremendous work in regards to just...

...letting people know that being trans is even *an option*

But I also feel like every sort of space of that kind leads to the same sort of issue: it presents an incredibly biased, hyperfocused idea of what it means to be trans, in large part because no one in those spaces...

...seems to have been transitioning for very long, if they've even let themselves begin

(Editors note: I use "transitioning" here to mean any aspect of accepting you're trans and exploring being yourself, whatever that means for you)

And this creates EGG CULTURE! The infuriating monolith:

"I'm afraid I won't be hot, so why transition"
"I don't care about my life so why improve it"
"I'd rather coast through my entire life than make a big change"
"What if this is just a phase"
"I'm not Dysphoric enough"

In addition to a horrific amount of gatekeeping and the greatly feared boogeyman of "hugboxing"

"Hugboxing" isn't even a thing, by the way
The term was made up by channers to demonize positive vibes autism forums. There's your "yep it's all ableism" fun fact for today.

So any and every trans space I've been on has this basic issue:

Eggs be stressed and negative, and have a lot of internalized transphobia shit they need help or time to sort out

And egg fears synergize terribly, creating rampant negativity spirals

Which brings me back to my initial premise/question here

Having veteran trans people in very eggy spaces can be and *is* incredibly helpful for eggs and burgeoning trans people in general, naturally. But there barely are any veteran trans people in those spaces...

...which I probably need a citation on, so I'll just like "I WAS that veteran trans person, working with the handful of other veteran trans people IN those spaces, qed, or something"

And imo that's because being in those spaces when you're not an egg sucks SO BAD OML

I haven't been in a devoted egg space that isn't rife with eggs refusing to transition, refusing to work through issues, refusing to internalized that they're good and cute, refusing to stop overanalyzing every aspect of themselves and others, and this *sucks* for everyone

And I don't mean to like
Rant at the fabled eggs' expense here, being in this scary stage of self-acceptance is natural and it's something we all had to work through

But damn does it burn through spoons. Self care for anyone trying to caretake this process inevitably becomes...

...just stepping aside

I was an admin on a rather large burgeoning trans person discord. Our primary role was helping people come to terms with their transness in a space that made a point of never pushing labels on anyone, so people could work through and accept...

...their identity at their own pace.

Average admin burnout was about a month. Often barely a fortnight, rarely a few months. Typically followed by a complete breakdown from sheer stress overload.

Why aren't there any elders in burgeoning trans peep spaces? Why would there be?

This has been very midnight'o'clock rambly but I just wanted to get some thoughts out. It's fascinating to me how on Reddit and discord there just *aren't* trans people who've been transitioned a while. And I've always opined it's because you outgrow the space, and self-care by..

...leaving entirely.

Personally, I couldn't believe how relatable /r/traa was the first time I stumbled on it, a few months before my egg cracked

Within 6 months of starting HRT, I just didn't relate to its content and stopped visiting

There was a burgeoning trans person discord I myself joined as I was starting to my transition, and it was immensely helpful in accepting myself. But once I'd done so, it was just a space of self-harm, even being on it was to constantly re-engage with harmful internalized...

...transphobia from so many members.

I'm not sure if this entire diatribe is a rant or a plea for a solution or just an info drop about my takes on the places I've been, but I do think it's fascinating how welcoming egg-focused spaces feel to people just realizing they're...

...trans, and then how surely those same spaces push out people once they've accepted they're trans and have gotten a lot of their problematic out.

I have two other thoughts here:

1) you could also argue that aging out of young trans spaces is natural for a reason I think is kind of beautiful: you just don't need them anymore

A space focused on transition tips is incredibly useful for a brief period. After that...

The most useful spaces become the same ones cis people use. Like when I stopped looking at /r/traa, it was in large part because I was looking at /r/actuallesbians instead

When I want advice to look cute these days, I look the same places any other queer person would

Which is honestly *beautiful* and is imo how things ought to go:
The whole point of accepting yourself and transitioning in whatever form that means for you, is now you get to live your life as whatever genders and sexualities you are, using any resources out there you want

2) which leads into my second thought. A lot of the stress and perceived high stakes of burgeoning trans person environments is imo evidence of a societal failing.

Being trans is fascinating because society is so not keeping pace with us. Resources are scarce, support is scarcer

So naturally we create our own resources and our own support groups

And unfortunately, as often happens, trans people are very often the only ones who will fight for our own, and so we do. And burn ourselves right the fuck out.

Sidenote, incredibly hot take: a lot of the sheer horniness seen in trans spaces is a coping strategy with the sheer stress we deal with in every walk of life

Addendum: every trans server has a lewd channel for the mods precisely because of the above. *Every.*