HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE: livetweet thread

why this old dude Stealing the light

O SHE A CAT

floating motorbike gang lets go gays! anyone arriving by Air is gay i make the rules. Gay uncle

wait so dumbledore is just gonna leave him with this abusive ass family VEKSJDIODOD BRO WHAT

HE LIVES IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD

36?!? LASTYEAR I HAD37 BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP

o they going to da zoo

BITCHWYHAT

“ive never talked to a snake before” Yeah obviously you havent, youve never been to high school

bro youre just gonna let the snake out like that.. you know its gonna be killed by zookeepers right thats what they do with escaped animals that might be dangerous. Stupid ass

is this just how British people are

IS THIS JUST HOW BRITISH PEOPLE LOOK

THE FUCKING HAT IM DEAD

owls do be kind of delivering letters doe

bro what the fuck “no blood letters on sundays” bro look at all the owls outside stupid ass

ok real talk the soundtrack do be slapping

the lighthouse (2019) dir. rob eggers

HOW DID THEY JUST LIKE. MOVE THERE THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPI DJGFLLJGFDJKLGFD JUST GIVE HARRY HIS FUCKING LETTER BRUV

mom said its my turn on the xbox

hagrid gay uncle!!

why do these bitches not want him to go to hogwarts like.. straight up you hate him so much why dont you wanna send him away for an entire school year

why are yall hanging around diagonal alley for? do none of these adult wizards have like.. jobs, . what do they do? magic taxes?

wow how convenient these kids were saying "WAUW LOOK AT IT!! THE NEW NIMBUS 2000" right as harry walked by. i wonder if thats gonna come into play later.

oh no.... .... the bank

you cant be fucking serious

ok but the practical effects are.. Really good. who made them

real talk how the fuck do kids pick out their wands if they just- have to try out every single one until one feels right that must take AGES

"he who must not b named did great things. TERRIBLE... but great" man you sound like every cis guy in my history class talking abt hitler

HAGRID CANT SPELL..... honey

"BUT HAGRID THERE MUST BE A MISTAKE IT SAYS NINE AND THREE QUATERS... THERES NO SUCH THING!!" harry man shut up youre litrally a wizard youre gonna b worried abt the fucking NAME of a train platform? stupid ass

-DU JO SYG. SYG. SYG. LIGE DER.
-I HOVEDET? DET JO HER!
-KOALA

harry finds one person his age who treats him nicely and buys him all the candy off of the trolley. man.

ALSO hes buying all of it what about the rest of the kids on the fucking train? selfish ass greedy ass. i hate rich people

HE HAS A RAT

i love you so much babey

so.. they have to get on boats EVERY time they have to leave or arrive at hogwarts?

bruv youre wizards just fucking teleport yourselves there its not that hard

i swear to god i just saw this portrait of anne boleyn hanging on the walls

ALAN RICKMAN

why is snape such a bitch to Harry like he straight up breathed

Harry: taking notes
snape: im about to throw hands with this 11 y/o

is she.. you know

is he gray

i love fred and george so muhc,,,

ME EYES!! THATS ANNE BOLEYN RIGHT THERE

straight up those staircases must b. HORRIBLE to live with genuinely.

imagine youre going to fuckin, class and the staircase thinks its funny to fuck with you and you miss ur class

also whats the point of locking doors if theres litrally just a spell to unlock it again.... the worldbuilding luv, where is it

OH MY GOOOOD I DONT CARE ABOUT WIZARD FOOTBALL

DER EN KAT I KÆLDEREN

why do you have a fucking dungeon... yall weird

snape is so weird .. leave harry alone. "now that youve proven you can handle a troll a game of quidditch is an easy feat... even if its against slytherin" shut the fuck up you are SO weird

i wonder what this conveniently nimbus 2000 shaped package is!

straight up why are all the slytherins so fucking RUDE

SNAPES FUCKING WITH HARRYS BROOM!?!?!?!? WHY ARE YOU SO PRESSED HARRY LITRALLY BREATHED

this mirror b like: hey harry lets completely unprompted show you your dead parents that you definitely dont have any trauma over losing! lets hope you wont get a panic attack! its a gamble im willing to take

ngl this is so cute

HAGRID WON A FUCKING DRAGONS EGG FROM A STRANGER AT THE PUB

HAGRID NAMED A DRAGON NORBERT??!?!?!??! THIS MAN REALLY IS GAY

dumbledore first thing as first years arrive: hey dont fuckin jjfg go into the dark forest youre actually gonna fuckin die
detention: little walk thru the dark forest

NOOO THEY TOOK HAGRIDS DRAGON IM ABOUT TO RIOT

unicorn blood who the fuck

WAIT TILL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS

A FUCKNIGN CENTAUR!??!

"i shouldnt have told you that" ancient hagrid proverb

-did he seem interested in fluffy?
-hes a three headed dog what the fuck do you think

the big climax is that.. theyre playing chess ......

oh im SORRY. ITS WIZARDchess

Ron just jump off the fucking chesspiece youre so dramatic

wait snape tried saving harry during the quidditch match? im so confused

ITS IN HIS POCKET!?!?!?

LMAOOO HES BALD

harry potter and that time he melted another guys face off and subsequently killed him

harry: what happened to hermione!? and ron? what about the stone
dumbledore: fuckging relax bitch jesus christ

griffindor just cant fucking lose can they. relax, losing the house cup doesnt mean the end of the fucking world

why does everyone just fucking hate slytherin they really out here breathing,,,

END OF THREAD