Caught some feelings in the shower and thought of a angsty bkkr break-up scenario, except they never truly break-up...
CW: Angst w/ happy ending, major character death (not Kiri or Baku)
Kirishima and Bakugou are rookie heroes on the rise still living in the same two-bedroom apartment they moved into after graduation, but now they just share one room as a couple.
Villians and natural disasters always keeps a hero busy, so Eijirou doesn’t even blink an eye when his boyfriend starts coming home from work later, barely having the strength to stand in the shower and make it into bed
It starts off small, maybe 3 out of the 5 days Katuski goes in will he stay out a little later, taking care of something, coming back home with a few more bruises and a lot more exhaustion (even though he was patrolling the deadest part of the city)
But slowly that absence seems to escalate into going out on one of his two days off, then coming back later every night he goes out on patrol
But that’s what you ask for when dating a fellow hero, right? It’s not like Eijirou isn’t pushing himself through the ranks and staying out over his required hours to help save citizens.
The gap between seeing Bakugou and not seeing him only grows, though.
The few times Katsuki has had to skip Eijirou’s special night to cook or a hang out with some of their friends is starting to increase in frequency
It doesn’t seem like Katsuki even has a day off anymore and, now that Eijirou has taken a second to think about it, he’s been spending an inordinate amount of time with Midoriya
(It’s better now, they are better now. Not quite friends that can go to karaoke together, but Bakugou acknowledges Midoriya for his strength and dedication to being a hero. They train together when they need more of a challenge and push the other in healthy rivalry)
Eijirou doesn’t think there is necessarily anything bad that can come from his boyfriend spending time with someone who challenges him - probably. He’ll text Ochako just in case.
Kirishima is being so patient with his boyfriend and the absence of him. He knew what he was getting into by dating Katsuki. That they wouldn’t celebrate anniversaries or be all lovey-dovey in public, and he was fine with that. Loved Katsuki for his differences in love language
He’s sad of course, misses seeing his boyfriend, cooking with him, sneaking into his morning showers, hanging out with their friends, resigned to the fact that for now he only gets to snuggle him in bed..
Only, that gets taken from him too. When Katsuki calls him one night, telling him not to wait up, he was doing some extra training with Deku and it would probably take all night. And of course Eijirou wishes him luck, reminds him to take breaks, that he loves him
Hides the sadness in his voice because he’s old enough to spend one night in the big, cold bed alone
Because this is going to only be a one night thing, of course
Except it’s not
One night out turns into two and two turns into five, until Katsuki is spending enough time out of their home (and out of Eijirou’s life) with Midoriya that actually getting in touch with Katuski is by calling Midoriya
But still, still Eijirou believes that this isn’t forever and it’s just something he needs to wait for Katuski on. Katuski has been super tight lipped on why he’s staying out so much with Midoriya, but Eijirou trusts him with his everything and he can wait. He can.
If only his unshakable faith in Katsuki hadn’t been ruined by one night.
(Totally fell asleep, but here’s more of the break-up KiriBaku AU)
Eijirou, for almost an entire year, has been working on this project. A charity project, if you will, for people who are frighten/insecure or unable to control their quirk. Inspired by his own childhood and inspiration from after Eri was rescued and watching her struggles
And a little bit of Bakugou’s trauma
He just wanted to provide more resources, have more people care and have more awareness to kids and adults who aren’t villainous in nature, but actually suffer from real psychological trauma or mental health issues
That aggressive behavior and ill managed quirk usage isn’t just someone evil or wanting to cause trouble.
Eijirou puts his everything into this project. He’s dedicated to it, fully self-funding until popularity picks up and sponsors help back it. He never stops donating to it though because he truly believes that he can save misunderstood people from committing crime
From just accepting what society write them off as and getting victims the best treatment and aftercare.
Eijirou has put literal blood, sweat, and tears into developing this program, creating jobs and helping so many people. It’s something he’s so absolutely proud of because with his own two hands he helped make this. He didn’t just stop and stare
He truly took actions and helped change people’s lives.
And of course, he’s to be awarded for his pure contributions to society.
Now Kirishima is definitely one to downplay a lot of his achievements. Mostly just out of modesty, but sometimes a niggling thought that he doesn’t deserve it because he could have done so much more-
But this one, he’s so proud of this one. This is one of the exact reasons he became a hero. This award means more to him than any of the awards he’s received combined.
And Katsuki knows that
Knows more than anything what this means to Eijirou, what it means to them. How Eiji could look at himself, look at Bakugou, and see past the front everyone would immediately judge, reaching deep inside for the heart of a hero strongly beating inside, and be able to see that in
so many others
Eijirou is beyond elated to be able to walk up on that stage, shake some hands, take a trophy and look at his boyfriend sitting in his reserved spot in the front row, smiling at him because they are another step closer to making a better world.
So he pulls up his tie, securing it tightly, smoothing down the panels of his suit with nervous hands. He really wishes he could hold his boyfriend’s hand right now, but he chose to get ready at the event itself just to appease his PR manager
Katsuki’s probably out in the audience sitting anyways, a stickler for being on time. He had made sure to text both him and Midoriya about his suit being at the dry cleaners for tonight
His PR manager is a busty lady with a stern face, but she brushes a comb through his hair with a mother’s touch, patting his back with a strong slap after easing a lint roller over his suit
“You’ve earned this.” She tells him with all sincerity and it makes Eijirou smile.
The hallway is long, but there’s only one turn to make, the crew standing there ushering him in place, keeping him there until given a light nudge - his cue to walk on the stage.
All he can think about walking up the stage stairs is the look Katsuki is going to give him when he spots him. Eijirou preens under that man’s addition, especially when he knows he’s done something good. Katsuki’s praise is hard-earned, but worth anything in the world to Ei.
Katsuki watching him from the crowd, gazing at him with nothing but pride, is the only thought that keeps his shaky legs moving.
The stage lighting is super bright, making him shield his eyes, almost completely blinded as he steps on stage. He blinks - once, twice - gazing over to the side that he knows his boyfriend should be sitting - seeing his face will give him the motivation to step forward-
————————————————
| |

| Bakugou Katsuki |

| |_____________________________________
The sign - in bold, plain letters, stares back at Eijirou. The chair is absolutely empty.
Katsuki didn’t come.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
It’s an out of body experience for the rest of the award show. After being so excited for it for so long, he feels like he should have appreciated it more, despite who didn’t show, which makes him feel even shittier about it.
There’s really no way to discribe how he feels. Eijirou takes the train home, still dressed to the nines, garnering some whispers from a few of the passengers. They would have went home in Katsuki’s car.
He doesn’t even want to go home, but feels less like going somewhere and explaining to anyone.
The apartment shouldn’t feel like he’s walking to his execution, not when this is a testament to what he and Katsuki have achieved together as life partners. It almost makes him sick, the burrowing dread, when he slowly takes the stairs towards home sweet home.
Katsuki missing one award show shouldn’t have changed any of this. They are still heroes, partners in crime and for life. It’s not like he’s been able to go take part in all of Katsuki’s achievements (there’s just too many)
Nothing’s changed. Absolutely nothing has changed.
But, hasn’t everything?
Katsuki’s shoes are tucked neatly in their spot by the door, signaling he’s home status. Eijirou can hear the ear piercing shrieks from the TV - that horror series that he can’t stomach to watch with Katsuki
He can see just before stepping all the way in Katsuki sitting on their faded couch, holding a carton of veggie lo mein, Eijirou’s own carton sitting in front of his spot in the couch
It’s just like every Saturday night they’ve spent together
“You didn’t answer your phone, shithead. So I got you veggie and meat. And no, you’re not allowed to pick them out.” Katsuki isn’t looking at him, doesn’t see the way his lower lip wobbles or how hard it is for him to suck in a steady breath.
This is normal. This is them. This is home. Katsuki is home.
Why does he feel so alone?
Katsuki looks over at his silence, used to Eijirou’s whining, used to him jumping over the couch and grumbling over veggies, used to it like every single Saturday when it’s his turn to pick.
It’s normal, it’s their normal. Katsuki is finally home to make their normal.
Carmine eyes widen at the tears dripping down from sad, crimson eyes.
Katsuki takes one, shuddering breath. “The award show.”
No, it’s not even that. Eijirou can’t deal with this normal.
Countless nights spent tucked in a big, cold bed, eating takeout alone on Saturdays without having to argue over the channel. Washing dishes in the scalding water, Katsuki bitching how he’s getting the repair guy over tomorrow. Kissing a grumbling cheek before work and sneaking
into showers morning or night, feeling so irrevocably close to another person that being without them feels like losing a part of your soul
And that’s what it is. He lost part of his soul without doing anything to warrant it and he doesn’t think he knows how to fit it back
But Katsuki won’t see that. Slapping his carton on the coffee table, rushing Eijirou like he does everything in his life, fingers tightening over the cuffs at his wrist
“Ei...” Eijirou flinches. Katsuki only uses that when he feels terribly guilty. Painfully emotionally stunted and expecting Eijirou to guide him on how to make it better
But what is better? How do you go from months of forced solitude, wishing for the one person who could make it all better to show up only to look at them now and wish they were nowhere near you
He’s just going to leave again.
And that thought is what makes him take a shuddering breath, sob choking his lungs when he realizes that this is only temporary, that missing the award show was just the first strike, Katsuki was going to come and go until he never came back
And Eijirou will truly be alone.
It’s more of a shove than a push sending Katsuki reeling back, wide-eyed and gaping when his ass smacks the floor and all he can do is stare at his boyfriend in surprise
Eijirou takes a good look at him. On the floor. In their apartment. Sitting in there space like he’d never ever left.
He takes a step back. And then another one, turning in a full on sprint when he realizes Katsuki is trying to push up off the floor.
“Eijirou?! Ei! Ei!!!” The edge time Katsuki’s voice almost sounds hysterical. But it doesn’t make him stop or even slow down. He takes the stairs three at a time, dress shoes slapping concert before Katsuki can even scream for him over the railing
Eijirou doesn’t understand why he sounds so desperate at him leaving. He was the one that left in the first place.
-
Thankfully he had his wallet, so he can check in to a hotel for the night.

Maybe he’s being a little too paranoid, thinking that Katsuki would go check the houses of their friends, looking for him.

But it’s much better to be safe than to deal with a confertation right now.
He’s had to put his phone on silent. It’s been blowing off the hook every since he bolted.

A part of him wants to just chuck it and drown it in the sink.
The breath he takes makes his chest grow even tighter. Being alone and away from him was supposed to help him think straight.

Instead it feels like he just can’t breath.
What is he even doing? What was running away from Katsu going to solve? If anything, it’s making the knot in his chest tighten more. Constricting like a slithering viper, choking him all the way up his neck, and crushing his throat.
He feels like shit. He wants to cry and he feels like shit.

And he’s too scared to turn his phone on to see if Katsu’s stopped looking for him.
He doesn’t know if he’ll feel worse if he’s still looking or cry if he stopped.

His head feels full of cotton. He kind of wishes something would strike him so he could just knock out and sleep.
Getting in that bed alone right now feels like it might actually break him.
This...isn’t helping. Sitting here like this isn’t going to help anything.

Eijirou forces himself to breath. Deep breaths. To stop feeling so light-headed.

But really, it just makes him want to cry more.
This. He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep feeling like everyday he might fall apart.
But what’s he supposed to do? What’s the answer?

He doesn’t...want to see Katsuki. Not right now. He can’t. If something were to truly break him, it might be looking into the eyes of the man he has thoughts about spending his forever with..
The way he called his name when he ran away feels like it’s on a vicious loop, stuck on replay, and soldered to his eardrums.
Eijirou can’t do this.
So...that would mean he would need to get away then?

But where? Would moving out even work? Would he even be able to handle facing Katsuki while trying to get his stuff out and over to a new place? Could he even stay here knowing that any time, any day he might run into him?
But staying isn’t the answer either. He knows it. He’s known it for the months he has stayed, giving him the chance to change, only to be hurt by his absence even more.
He can’t be with Katsuki.

So where does he go?
He doesn’t have anywhere he can go that he won’t find Katsuki around-

Wait a minute.

Eijirou feels his breath leave. Feels the gears inside his pounding head start to move. The haze of fog over his eyes kind of start to clear.
Damn. It would be a long shot but-

It would get him out of here.
And that’s what he needs, Eijirou decides.

He’s getting out of here.
-

The wheels of the train clack like clockwork, filling the empty silence of the train car with its metronome, a background of industrial symphony. It’s hypnotic as it is stomach clenching. The speed of these wheels deign the speed of change.
Eijirou lets out a breath he’s been holding.

It takes all of the courage he has to click on his phone.

189 missed calls 327 text messages.
It’s been three days, including the night he ran off. Katsuki’s been studious. Flashes of notifications have gone off steadily, slowing down as time moved, but never ceasing.
He’s give up on “answer me” and “where are you” to “come home” “let’s talk”-

“I love you, Eijirou.”
It’s not Katsuki; it is, but it isn’t. In their entire relationship Eijirou doesn’t think he’s been texted or called so much. Kats was a man of action and in person. A phone was a working necessity. Why say something through a stupid screen when he could just say it in person?
It feels strange. It’s not Katsuki.

Something in him falters, questioning his resolve.
He’s trying. He’s not giving up on him-

But why is he doing so now?

Where was this dedication when everything felt like it was slipping? When a long day at work could be remedied with food and couch time...
But nights were spent sore, alone and sad, instead.

And overthinking. So much overthinking. Like being in a relationship with his head.
He just. He missed being with Katsuki so much. He didn’t want much. Just to be with him. They didn’t have to spend time doing anything, just to see him-

It was almost hard to breathe sometimes.
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