As we were going back from dinner date, he looked at me and asked, "what if I lock the doors and refuse to let you out of the car?"
I was terrified, my face turned from smiling to pure horror.
He smiled and said, "I was just kidding"
It didn't make me feel any better.
#Thread ⬇️
Within those few seconds, I had already said in my heart, "If anything happens to me, at least I told someone everything I know about this new friend"
Every possible case that I saw in @DiscoveryID where a woman was assaulted, kidnapped or even murdered crossed my mind that day.
Even after several minutes of assuring me that it was just a horrible joke, he knew that I was no longer comfortable.
I wanted to take my own transport, a familiar bajaji or UBER would be safer but he had insisted to pick me up and I didn't want to be rude or appear "egoistic".
The difference between what women and men worry about when meeting a stranger is huge.
Men often worry if the person will like them, they will do everything possible to impress her.
For us, apart from impressing the other person, we worry about our safety.
It doesn't matter how
much you trust someone.

I remember someone asked me why do girls tell their friends who they go out with especially if it's a new person.
I smiled, he couldn't understand.
Hell, if I go to the washroom I don't leave my drink. I better gugumia it all before I leave.
One may say
"you are going out with wrong people"
One thing I know, rapists don't have labels! Hell, we have just witnessed doctors raping patients, who would have thought ANYONE let alone a DOCTOR would rape a PREGNANT WOMAN?

It's scary. It's scarier for women.
It's damn scary for US!
When we were rotating Orthopaedics at Tumbi, we finished our shift a little bit late around 1AM and there were no bajaji available, we had to take bodaboda.
5guys, 2ladies and yet they used over 30mins to convince me to hop on that bodaboda.
4 bodabodas xame to pick us up.
I looked at my fellow lady, she was as scared as I was, it was a long ride from Tumbi to Hostel.
Tukapanda wawili wawili, at least every lady with a guy, when our bodaboda guy picked his phone to check a text, I checked.
As the 4 bodabodas rode, I carefully noted the plate number
That was a week after a girl had been raped somewhere at Goba by a bodaboda guy.
We made it safely.
Whether it was because we 2 ladies were accompanied by 5 guys or because the bodaboda guys were nice people or both, God knows.
It is scary to be a woman!
At night, out there!
Many ladies can testify what they do to protect themselves.
When we walk in an isolated road, every person coming towards us or behind us seems like a threat.
We don't just worry about someone stealing from us, they would rape, beat, sodomize, hell even kill us after the assault.
It is scary out there.
It is VERY SCARY!
I remember the 14yo girl who was gangraped at Pugu, she trusted that boy enough to escort him to the shop, little did she know that she was walking right into her death.
Remember Norah? I know most of you guys don't. The 9yo girl who was
raped and strangled to death by her own uncle. He story was heartbreaking.

As much as we take precautions with strangers, the danger is closer at home, in our offices, in our hospitals, in classes because over 90% of rapes are commited by the people we know and TRUST.
For decades, women have been taught "how to NOT get raped", the clothes, not to drink and much more that has proved to be insignificant in changing the rape status.
#UyineneMrwetyana was raped and murdered at the post office, during her funeral, her mother weeped saying,
"I'm sorry I warned you about other places but not the post office"
My heart broke. My heart broke for this mother who blamed herself for not being vigilant enough to warn her daughter about where to NOT go so as to NOT get raped.

This is the reality of many African women.
The reality of many Tanzanian women.
It's just that we don't speak about it.

I don't know if there will be a day when we, women will go oit happily without worrying about being raped.
I wonder if that day will come.
But I hope it comes, if not now then when my daughters are here
I speak for those who have been through such ordeals.
Those who haven't found the strength to speak about it.
Those who can't speak about their ordeals because they are lying 6feet under or their bodies are somewhere in the wild decomposing as animals feed on them. #MeToo
I hope that someday the voice against rape won't just come from #DaktariMwandishi, @TawlaTZ, @MsichanaUwezo, @DevothaE and the like.
It will echo as each Tanzanian will speak about it.
The voice will make mountains tremble and rapists fall.
#MeToo
#TimesUp
#DaktariMwandishi 👣
You can follow @Kudu_ze_Kudu.
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