2 wks ago i realized i had never received a vase i ordered from @Anthropologie. they refunded my order & i ordered a new one, per their instructions. today i received NINE BOXES. of varying shapes and sizes. all from anthropologie. (i texted my friend: "are they all my vase???")
every single one of these boxes had a receipt and a single item inside. every single receipt was for the single vase i ordered.

and not a single box contained a vase.
what those boxes DID contain included:
- a pair of vans
- the biggest candle i've ever seen
- a terrifying coat hanger
- a ripple glass
- a baby's first year book
- a basket
- womens size 6 jeans
- snakeskin boots
- whatever that black and blue fuzzy thing is
What do I even do with these? Anthro, even if you want them back, I can barely carry this billion-pound candle, and I can't get all of these boxes to a USPS in Chicago winter. Also, I still don't have the one thing I want: a vase. Please, @Anthropologie, I just want my vase.
Ms Nellie Bly investigates
To expand: I weighed the candle. It has five wicks and weighs 12.8lb
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THE CANDLE https://twitter.com/AlisonRebeccaM/status/1220166057580691463
The @Anthropologie rep was very helpful & thought this was very funny. She said someone will call me in the next day or two. I'll keep you guys updated—if they want this billion-pound candle sent back, they'll have to come get it themselves
Unfortunately, @apocalypsenyet2, I do, in fact, know what the black and blue thing is.
https://twitter.com/apocalypsenyet2/status/1220166854007644161
I sense that some of you aren't understanding fully how big a 12lb candle is. Here's me, not a small woman by any means, with this candle, for illustration purposes.
Update: I just received an email that says that my vase shipped. It uses a new order # and says I ordered this vase yesterday. I realize this probably just means that Anthro is sending me my vase, but it's honestly the most ominous shipment notification email I've ever received.
Now taking bets: will I ever receive my vase?
Update: Anthropologie is shipping me my vase... in exchange for returning all 9 items. They have given me no return labels and no recompense for the fact that I have to repackage all these things.
If I don't, "the amount will be charged again and a hold will be placed on the account." I don't understand at all, @Anthropologie. I never ordered these things. Do you mean you'll charge me the $40 for the vase again? I never ordered these things, how am I responsible for them?
No words. They're saying that I'll be banned from Anthropologie for not returning these things I never asked for. I'll put a label on them & put them in my lobby but I made it clear that I can't be responsible for these boxes...I never ordered these how can I 'return' them?
They are sending me NINE SEPARATE RETURN LABELS
@Anthropologie, I'd love to hear from you. 1. because you said you would call me & I had to call you. 2. b/c it is ridiculous that I'm responsible for these items. I don't want to be banned from Anthropologie because the weird hand doesn't make it back to the shipment center.
A golden coat hook. Use it to hang up your frozen coat in the midst of winter. Use it to hang your red hat after a long day of investigating a grisly murder. Use it to curse your enemies by burying it beneath their front door. The possibilities are endless.
Are you cold, not itchy enough, want to be mysterious, and also have a big enough personality to actually pull this coat off? If you’re my size you also have to be ok with not being able to see if the hood is up. If all this applies to you, this is your coat.
Do you want a candle that could scent your entire multi-wing haunted mansion? A candle that could take out a thief in the night? A candle that threatens the stability of your kitchen table? A candle that if lit by an innocent will transport you to the land of Fae?
Just spent about 35–40 min deconstructing all of the boxes and plastic packaging so that I could recycle it. All items all fit in just 3 boxes! Remember, if you're shopping online, always do your part by trying to order in large batches—get 1 box instead of several.
I do want those following this thread to know that if I don't end up having to return this merchandise, the first thing I am doing, 100%, is lighting all 5 wicks on this candle
While you're all here, I guess I should probably say that if you think I'm cool and want to support my work, you can subscribe to my newsletter at whilereadingandwalking dot com, or follow me on instagram ( http://www.instagram.com/whilereadingandwalking), for book recs, reviews, and photos!
FANTASTIC UPDATE:
"Thank you so much for your patience! I apologize about this whole ordeal. My Support Team advised me that [they] will notate the account that you were advised to keep the items. Thanks!"
Thank you to the amazing CS person who helped me figure this out!
I take my promises very seriously. Here is a cinematic masterpiece in celebration of me officially owning the biggest candle in all the land.
(Music: Pride & Prejudice 2005 soundtrack)
(Beer cozy: @ChicagoLocal134)
Hey @RyanKFerguson ! Anthro has finally caved, and I don't need a lawyer, so I'm holding you to your promise! Let me know where you send that $100.
https://twitter.com/RyanKFerguson/status/1220512069704749058
Guys, sometimes the internet is the best of the places.
https://twitter.com/RyanKFerguson/status/1220555426825043968
To @Wendys_Garden's point, this is definitely the most expensive thing I've ever deliberately set aflame. https://twitter.com/Wendys_Garden/status/1220558514252173313
If you appreciated this thread, and want to donate something to someone, even if you're just a little inclined, I would give to you the same challenge as I gave to Ryan! Give it to: the Greater Chicago Food Depository, Planned Parenthood, or the Chicago Community Bond Fund.
And let me know! I will take any such donation as a personal honor and gift. Other options that mean a ton to me: the Australian Red Cross (because of the wildfires), the Foundation for AIDS Research, the ACLU, and the National Immigrant Law Center.
People keep asking me for a picture of the vase. Guys, if I had the vase, there would be no thread! But do not fret, the moment I get a box from Anthropologie in the mail, I will update all of you.
Wanted to say: if you are kind & good enough to donate to one of the organizations I highlighted above, which is the best way other than following my channels to show your gratitude, please DM me! There are a ton of notifications but I really want to thank anyone who donates.
Do you want a lil juice glass that just makes you want to go, "Oh my god are you the cutest glass I've ever seen? Just the cutest? The cutest little glass?" Do you want a glass that was crafted from a little puff of mist? A glass that is just doing its lil glass best?
Do you want a baby book that has a sticker on the back saying that it's unsafe for children? Oh wait ok the warning is just for the plastic? Well still, please be careful with this book around your children ok—knowledge can be powerful.
Do you hate snakes? Like really just heckin' hate snakes? Like you wish you had boots that look like snakes that you could use to step on snakes with? If so...be nicer to snakes, ok? Please, the snakes just want your love. They're being the best snakes they can be.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL: I have received an Anthropologie box. I REPEAT. A single. Box!!!
The receipt says it’s a vase, but I mean, we already know not to trust that, an I right?
IT’S...
IT’S MY VASE GUYS! The vase is actually here! I’m so happy you guys were here for this journey and that the quest for this vase has brought so much laughter, joy, and even donations! into the world! Thank you all!
For those who don’t know, I got this vase specifically to hold the flowers that were in the centerpieces at my best friend’s wedding. It was an incredible day I’ll never forget, and I wanted this vase because the colors reminded me of her and of her joy. So happy!
We have raised more than $500!! for organizations very close to my heart. Still waiting to see donations to the Australian Red Cross (because of the wildfires), the Foundation for AIDS Research, or the Chicago Community Bond Fund, all worthy causes. Consider this a challenge!
The practical day to day life of living with this candle is not easy. Where do I keep it? I put it on a shelf and the shelf visibly SHOOK.
.
Also, yes that’s the top to the giant candle that’s now keeping our remote, smaller candle (which smells better oops), etc. organized. 😊
As you can see, a VERY deserving party received that coat. Shoutout to Farrokh, aka Freddie Purrcury, cat of @MissLiberty.
My boyfriend has been at work for hours, but when I got home, the misting smell was so strong that I knew before the door was even open that he had burned the Giant Candle this morning before he left
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