Question! What do you do when the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with suddenly comes back into your life 5 years after you both walked away, disillusioned with each other?

#seeressramblings #bakudeku #bnha #worthanothertry

Izuku once read how time seems to stretch for people when momentous things happen, how they're stuck in that long moment while everyone else moves in slow motion.

But it didn't happen that way. One moment Izuku is laughing with Uraraka and the next, Katsuki is there.

There's a split second when Izuku feels his stomach drop & he’s sure his ears are red but he pushes on and smiles. Katsuki nods back.

“Deku.”

“Hello, Kacchan” Izuku says softly, even sweetly, cause whatever had happened before, whatever words were said, it was a long time ago.

They had been together for 4 years, just long enough for things to transition from being boyfriends to wanting something more permanent. Just enough time for romance to be replaced with routine, passionate nights with comfortable ones.

Time enough for them to grow from their younger selves, grow up, grow apart. They used to want the same things, until they didn’t.

On hindsight, through the lens of maturity and his first year as 30, Izuku knows that it was both no one’s fault and both their faults. It’s just how things go sometimes.

So on this night that he sees Katsuki again after 5 years without, Deku smiles.

Uraraka hadn’t told him that Katsuki would be there but Izuku couldn’t really say that he was surprised to see him. It was a party thrown by Class A to welcome Izuku back after almost 5 years away. Whatever else he is, Katsuki is part of Class A and he has cause to be here.

Izuku had expected awkwardness. When he left Japan, he was so angry at Katsuki he wanted to hurt him in the worst way he could. So Izuku left, depriving Katsuki of his presence. A case of ‘you don’t get to have me, if you don’t really want me’.

He wanted a Deku shaped hole in Katsuki’s life and he wanted Katsuki to feel it. Be hurt by it. Like Izuku himself hurts.

But Izuku was never made to be bitter, had too much capacity for love and happiness.

The change of scenery helped. New job, new people, new language. He was no longer confronted with daily reminders that he and Katsuki used to do this in that place, and that in this place.

A beautifully clean slate that first distracted Izuku, then healed him.

A year in & Izuku found someone who interested him. It barely lasted 3 months but it made him realize he could be happy w/ someone other than Katsuki & Izuku cried and cried hard at the realization bcause letting go of your dreams is sometimes harder than giving up the real thing

One day, Izuku found someone else to love. And Izuku was truly happy until they weren’t anymore.

But now Izuku is older and wiser and he knows sometimes things just don’t work out. Things end and there is nothing you can do about it, except try to salvage

as much of the relationship as you can. So you don’t rage at each other and say words that can never be unsaid. So that you’d be free to talk to each other again, if ever there is a need to, and you don’t cross oceans just to slam the door in their face.

When Izuku left to re-cross the ocean, Izuku called this person he once loved to say goodbye and they wished him good luck in return. There is a moment of regret, some sadness, because love that has passed is always bittersweet, but there is also peace.

And Izuku brought that peace when he came back to Japan. Excited to reclaim his old life.

That first meeting with Katsuki passed without incident. The entire class held their collective breaths, unsure how it would go, then heaved a sigh of relief.

Katsuki himself had seemed uncertain of his reception. Wary. Then surprised at Izuku's response. Or perhaps that was only in Izuku’s eyes who used to know him best.

And that made Izuku wonder, who knows Katsuki best now?

He doesn’t know the answer because when he left Japan, Izuku torched bridges, salted the earth, and shut down any kind of communication that included the name Bakugou Katsuki. Five years have passed and all he knows about this current Katsuki is what has trickled in

through the news channels:

He is Japan’s #1 Hero 2 years running.
He is unmarried.
He campaigns against bullying.
He is surprisingly popular with kids and the older generation.

Not a lot of information about someone Izuku used to have entire notebooks of facts on.

When later he found himself alone with Katsuki, Izuku gave in to the curiosity, the desire to know more.

“How have you been, Kacchan?”

At first Izuku didn’t think Katsuki would answer. He just looked at Izuku, as if searching for something.

"I got to the top."

That made Izuku smile. All this time and Katsuki still had that one thing on his mind.

"I know. I was happy when I heard," Izuku said.

"You?" Katsuki asked, sipping his beer.

"I've grown up," Izuku said truthfully, watching Katsuki's pale throat work.

They didn't talk long that night. Someone came and dragged Izuku away for yet another picture and he lost Katsuki in the laughter and alcohol. But it was more than he had shared with Katsuki in ages.

More importantly, it was a start.

Izuku's first days back in Japan was a near constant motion. He needed a new hero license, an apartment, and all the other things he left in his other life 12 time zones away.

Amidst all that chaos, Izuku received a call from an unknown number.

It was Katsuki, his old number now unblocked in Izuku's new phone. He asked Izuku to meet up that night. He had a case he wanted to discuss, something Izuku used to handle.

Izuku said yes, disconcerted by hearing Katsuki's voice this close to his ear after all these years.

They met at a discreet bar, used a booth near the far end of the room, away from the rest. The discussion about the villain — gone underground 7 years ago and for some reason wreaking havoc now — took about 20 minutes. They stayed in that place for over an hour.

Pro hero Deku's return to Japan did not go unnoticed. He was already popular before he left and never did lose his popularity as people still tracked his accomplishments abroad, like star Japanese baseball players who leave to play for the Major Leagues.

Izuku was busy. But when Katsuki called him the next week to discuss another case, Izuku still said yes.

They met up a little earlier that time and they discussed the case over dinner. They've moved on to other topics well before the dessert came and still they stayed for tea.

The third time Katsuki called, Izuku told him they can just see each other at Jirou’s birthday party the next day. There was a pause in the line.

"Kacchan?"

“I’m free now, Deku.”

Izuku conceded that he was free as well and they met up. They had sushi and several rounds of sake. He thought this was the better option anyway since Jirou’s parties were always loud and it would have been hard to talk case.

The fourth time Katsuki called him, Izuku had had a difficult day. No one died on his watch — not this time — but there were people injured, including small children.

He was in a pensive mood through out. He picked at his dinner and drank more than he usually did.

They barely talked abt the case Katsuki wanted to consult on. Izuku's mind kept wandering away, to small bloody limbs clinging to him for help.

When they got up to leave Katsuki frowned down at him.

"Saw you on the news. Should have known calling you tonight was a bad idea."

Izuku looked up at him in surprise.

"Why? If you hadn't I would have gone home and moped by myself." Izuku said. "I'm sorry I've been bad company."

Katsuki turned away, fiddling with his wallet to pay the cashier.

"Do you wanna have coffee? We can have decaf. I know a place," Katsuki said surprising Izuku.

He nodded anyway, not eager to go home.

"It's a bit of a walk. Do you mind?"

"No. A walk sounds perfect right now. Thank you, Kacchan."

"No problem."

The next time Katsuki called Izuku and his team had just finished a big raid and he was flush with success and adrenaline.

"Oh! Sorry, Kacchan. The team is having dinner tonight to celebrate, charge to the agency."

"Don't worry about it, Deku. This case will keep."

"Yeah, yeah okay."

"See you around, nerd. Good job on the raid."

"Hey, Kacchan?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna meet up for drinks after my dinner?"

"Okay."

"Great!"

They named a time and place. They met up for drinks and didn't talk about Katsuki's case at all.

The following week, it was Uraraka who called Izuku, asking him to dinner after work. Catch up. They haven't seen each other since Izuku's party 2 months ago.

Izuku started to say yes, then hesitated. He would love to go but it's Thursday. Katsuki usually calls on Thursday.

"What? Why would Bakugou need to discuss a case with you?"

"I don't know that he does this week. He hasn't called to ask. Maybe he doesn't. Lemme call him now to make sure. If he doesn't then we can have dinner."

"Deku-kun, I am your best friend. You're seriously dropping

me for /Bakugou/? Is there something I should know about?"

Izuku laughed. "It's work, Uraraka."

Turned out Katsuki /did/ need to consult something w/ Izuku. They met at this hole in the wall restaurant that had excellent ramen. Uraraka spent the evening cleaning her apartment.

They're not dates. There's nothing romantic going on. There's always some work matter to be discussed — a villain, a pro hero policy, who's the best choice for this task force. Admittedly, the work discussions often segue to hero talk & remember-whens of their past cases together

& sometimes they only spend a few mins actually talking abt work before one of them launches into a story of what happened the other day, but that's all it is. Just an outlet to geek out about their favorite topic and catching up on what happened since they last saw each other.

They talk about their friends, how their parents are doing, what All Might is up to. Common threads that link them together without binding them.

They don't talk about the future unless it's next week. They don't make plans other than that one evening out of every seven.

They don't talk abt their break-up or how Izuku almost married another person a year ago. There are questions they don't bring up like if Katsuki still likes to sleep on the right side of the bed.

6 months in and Izuku still doesn't know who knows Katsuki best these days.

It's not always Thursday night. One time Katsuki calls on a Wednesday and asks if they can meet that night instead.

Another time, Katsuki calls and says he can't make it.

"My team has to deploy, nerd. We'll be back next week.

"Alright, Kacchan. Be safe."

"I'll bring you a souvenir."

And Izuku has to laugh, imagining the teasing grin on Katsuki's face.

Just like that Izuku realizes two things — one, Katsuki hasn't exactly asked to meet up for that week yet, he just said he can't make it, as if they already had plans made.

Two, Izuku will miss him. He had been looking forward to seeing him for their weekly meeting.

Leading to a third realization: this weekly evening outs with Katsuki is a thing now. Izuku can't really say he minds.

There was one time when Izuku was just simply EXHAUSTED. Katsuki called and Izuku was tempted but will power can only take you so far and he used up all of his cleaning up after bad guys earlier.

"I'm really sorry, Kacchan. I'm about to fall asleep where I stand."

"You have to eat, Deku."

"I'll get something from the convenience store."

"Those things are crap!"

It was an argument straight from when they were still together that Izuku felt at a loss for a moment. Before he could respond Katsuki was talking again.

"Send me your address. I'll come over and cook something for you."

"Kacchan, I don't have enough energy to entertain."

"Who said anything about entertaining me? I cook. You eat. I'm outta your hair."

There weren't any alarm bells clanging in Izuku's head so much as he didn't

think this was a good idea in general. But he also knew Katsuki when he gets in this mood and Izuku was too tired to argue.

Katsuki was waiting outside Izuku's door, shopping bag on the floor, when Izuku arrived.

"Go wash up. I just need fifteen minutes in your kitchen."

Katsuki was true to his word. By the time Izuku came out of his bedroom in a soft sleep shirt and pajamas bottoms, hair towel damp, Katsuki was already plating a bowl of udon.

"Where's your bowl?" Izuku asked, seeing Katsuki doing clean up instead of joining him to eat.

"Nah, none for me. Just finish that and get some rest."

Katsuki finished clean up the same time Izuku finished his bowl. By time Izuku had brushed his teeth, his bowl was already washed and drying on the counter.

"Come lock this door behind me, nerd."

Izuku obediently padded back to the living area. He would probably feel more awkward about this, he would probably be flustered and second guessing himself if Katsuki wanted to be invited to say or not, but his eyes were already closing and he couldn't stop yawning.

In any case, Katsuki already had his coat on standing ready by the door.

"Thank you, Kacchan. I seem to be telling you that a lot these days."

"Yeah, don't mention it. I mean it. Keep it to yourself."

Izuku huffed a laugh despite the yawn.

"I'm glad we're friends again."

Katsuki looked at him. He lifted one hand, brushing his knuckles at the temperamental curls around Izuku's right ear, not quite tucking them back.

"Get some sleep," Katsuki says quietly.

Izuku does. If he dreamed of red eyes and a past love, he didn't remember in the morning.

They're not dates. Izuku knows this because he goes on them and they're not like his meetings w/ Katsuki.

There's a certain expectation in dating. A measuring of the other to see if all the getting-to-know-you would lead to something more.

There was none of that w/ Katsuki.

They already know each other. Things had already led somewhere and the entire thing ended with their shared lives in shambles, their hearts broken, and most saddening of all — their friendship over.

This was Izuku and Katsuki reclaiming their friendship. Nothing more.

Sure there is a warmth that comes over Izuku when he first sees Katsuki, and his heart is joyful, at peace, for the 2 or 3 hours that they are together those evenings, but Katsuki has always had that effect on Izuku. There is happiness in simply being with him, sharing space.

Every time Izuku thinks that he & Katsuki are friends again, he feels so good inside he can't help but smile at him. Katsuki probably doesn't feel that happy abt it bcause he always turns his face away, drops his gaze. But Izuku doesn't mind, he can be happy enough for them both.

6 months after he got back to Japan, w/ jetlag a far distant memory, and he's settled in his new job and have already mapped out all the eating places near his new apartment, Izuku goes out on what is definitely a date.

He's Iida's friend from before UA. Not a pro hero.

He was sweet, and nervous at meeting hero Deku. They went out a few times, never on a Thursday.

But Izuku wasn't sure and the guy was gracious about it. They decided to just be friends. He asked for Deku's autograph.

"Aww, you don't like him?" Uraraka asked one morning over breakfast. It was their mutual day off & they just finished a run.

"I do. I think he's great."

"But?"

Izuku shrugged.

He wasn't used to having conversations about his love life, or lack thereof. Katsuki had liked his privacy and Izuku got into the habit of keeping things to himself.

"But nothing, I like him fine as a person. We just didn't click romantically.”

After that were a couple of dates that Izuku just wanted to forget about and one that wasn't a complete disaster but Izuku could see early on would not lead anywhere.

He didn't seek any of them, they all either asked Izuku out or were set up by his friends.

Then Todoroki introduced him to one of his distant cousins on his mother's side. She had the silvery white hair and pale looks of their line. Izuku thought she was very pretty.

She registered as a hero when she was younger but realized early that it wasn't the life for her.

Now she bakes pastries for a living — really good ones! Izuku has tried them — and hopes to have a child one day. She was fun and had a lot of stories about Todoroki when they were younger.

She was intelligent, not awed by his fame, and had a quirky sense of humor.

Izuku genuinely liked her.

"What's wrong with her?" Uraraka asked, over the noise of squabbling ducks. She threw more oats to the chaos.

"What?"

"Todoroki's cousin."

"Nothing. She's awesome."

"I know. I've met her."

"Isn't she funny?" Izuku said, smiling.

"She is. She's like a walking, talking check on every quality that people write on 'what's your type' questionnaires."

Izuku nodded, taking the bag from Uraraka and throwing more oats.

"But you don't like her enough to keep dating her," she persisted.

Izuku frowned at that.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just not ready for another relationship. I've got things happening."

"You've been here a year, Deku-kun. You dated whatzisface 3 months after you left Japan."

"And that didn't work out," Izuku pointed out.

"Have you and Bakugou talked abt getting back together?" Uraraka said casually. Perhaps too casually.

"That ship's gone and sailed, you know that," Izuku said quietly. "I'm just happy we can be friends again. I didn't think we would be."

"But have you talked about it?”

"No. We don't talk about things like that."

"What /do/ you talk about? You two keep going on these dates —"

"They're not dates. We just meet up as friends. Like we're doing now."

"Mini-dates?"

Izuku laughed.

To be fair, Uraraka was probably right to be curious. Out of all
his friends, Izuku saw Katsuki the most. Once a week in fact. He saw Uraraka every month at most. The others even less often. Everyone is busy.

But Izuku was under no illusion that those meetings with Katsuki were dates. They've had their chance. And while it had been /really/ good when it was good, it was heart rending when it ended.

But from then on, he and his friends picked up the word "mini-dates" for the weekly meet-ups.

"Midoriya can't on Thursday. Mini-date. Let's Sunday instead?"

or

"I heard Bakugou has a black eye"

"He does! I saw it last mini-date. It was impressive."

or

"I've tried that place. It has a really good katsudon."

"Mini-date?"

"Yeah, maybe 3 weeks ago."

They never called it that to Katsuki's face though. They liked having their faces unexploded.

Izuku never discussed the dates w/ Katsuki. Not that he tried to hide it. His friends knew and these kind of things tend to trickle through the class grapevine, if not the hero community. Even high powered pro heros need a hobby.

He would have talked about it had Katsuki asked.

But Katsuki never did.

Just as he never asked about Izuku's broken engagement and Izuku never questioned Katsuki about his series of one-night stands — information courtesy of Kaminari during Jirou's party.

It wasn't that their conversation was superficial,
they just avoided certain topics, mindful of keeping their renewed friendship away from potential landmines.

That was before Izuku started dating Shindo Yo.

It was only one date. Izuku wouldn't exactly have called it a roaring success but it hadn't been bad. Some of his friends — Katsuki included — didn't like Shindo, but Izuku had never had a problem w/ him. Not that they had much interaction over the years bar a few group missions.

But for the second date, Shindo wanted to go out on a Thursday.

“I’m sorry, I can’t Thursday.”

“Oh. I’m deploying on a mission, I’d probably be gone for three weeks, maybe four, and I — I’d really like to see you again before I go.”

"We can see each other when you get back."

"I know, but we've known each other for years and I feel stupid for not asking you out earlier. And I just wanna see you again."

Izuku didn't point out that Shindo couldn't have asked him out earlier because first he was with Katsuki then he was outside Japan.

But he supposed he did get what Shindo meant. They both moved in the same circles but haven't really connected before.

"C'mon, Midoriya," Shindou said with a winning smile.

And Izuku said yes.

He immediately regretted doing so and as if Shindo knew to get out while the getting was good, he left, leaving Izuku with the problem of telling Katsuki he can't make it for their next mini-date.

It turned out easier than he expected.

"What's up, nerd?"

Despite his nervousness, Izuku smiled at hearing the familiar voice over the phone, a warm softness coming over him.

"Hi, Kacchan," smile evident in his voice.

"Know what you wanna eat tomorrow?"

"Oh, right! Umm, I called to say I can't make it. Sorry."

"Oh. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just — I have a date. And he's only free tomorrow."

There was silence on the other side.

"But we can still see each other on Friday at the engagement party!" Izuku said cheerfully, barreling on.

"Kacchan?" Izuku prompted as the silence stretched on.

"Yeah." Izuku heard Katsuki clearing his throat. "See you at the party."

"Okay. Stay safe until then."

"Yeah. You too."

And Izuku thought that went really well.

The date with Shindo went well enough except for one sour point: Shindo kept bringing up Katsuki. Izuku supposed that some of it was meant to be flattering, like saying how lucky Shindo is that Katsuki was dumb enough to let Izuku go.

But acknowledging his past with Katsuki seems to have paved the way to drop comments about Katsuki in general, like how embarrassing it is that the #1 pro hero in Japan failed his first provisional license exam, or how Ground Zero’s explosive ways always landed him —

in the top 3 in terms of damage caused.

Shindo seemed to be under the impression that ‘rival’ and ‘ex’ meant that Izuku hated Katsuki — which couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“Kacchan and I are friends, Shindo-san. He's one of the most important persons in my life.”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, he’s your ex, isn’t he? You say you’ll see him at the party tomorrow night. People will be drinking. What if he makes a pass at you?”

“We’re not like that, and nobody our age gets drunk /drunk/ anymore.”

“Alright, let’s say you’re right. Will he be around you all the time? Your next boyfriend is gonna have a problem with your ex being that close to you in the future. When you get married, what will your husband say?”

“I would hope that whoever I love in the future is secure enough in themselves not be threatened by my friendship with Kacchan.”

Shindo did his charming best to salvage the evening and Izuku reluctantly agreed to see him again when he got back, promised to keep in contact while Shindo was away, his mission permitting.

Shindo’s words left Izuku in a pensive mood. His ex-fiance had known about Bakugou Katsuki but Ground Zero was not the household name it was in Japan. He was an abstract, someone Izuku dated when he was younger, a pro hero in another country —

sometimes appearing in international news and magazine covers.

Bakugou Katsuki in Japan was something else. There was no escaping him. You either admire the man or want to take him down a peg.

Izuku didn’t want to give up his friendship with Katsuki.

It’s precious to him, despite that it’s a mere shadow, a fraction of what they had before.

He doesn’t want to lose Katsuki, but Izuku misses being with someone, being part of a whole. Right now, he doesn’t know how to reconcile the two.

In a moment of weakness, Izuku’s aching heart wished that Katsuki could be that someone, that they could be together as they were before. Rivals, friends, lovers. Izuku wished that he could be allowed to love him again and that Katsuki could love him back.

It’s been a long time since Izuku cried for Katsuki and what they lost. He thought he was all tapped dry. He found out he was wrong.

==============

When Izuku arrived at Tokoyami’s engagement party, he carried his melancholy with him, wrapped around him like a soft blanket. He scanned the room for a familiar shade of blond but did no more than wave at Katsuki before joining their friends at the other side of the bar.

A couple of beers in and Izuku felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Shindo, not even a day gone and already calling.

Izuku excused himself. The call didn't last long, Izuku only took it in case it was urgent, but Katsuki caught him outside anyway, heard him say goodbye.

“You could do a lot better than Shindo Yo, Deku.”

Izuku’s eyes widened in surprise. This delved into previously un-remarked territory. They’ve never talked about Izuku’s dates before; Katsuki has never even acknowledged them.

"He seems alright,” Izuku hedged.

"He's a two-faced fucker who thinks he's better than he actually is. Get him near a mirror and you'll lose his attention.”

The attack was unexpected but it triggered a memory, making Izuku smile.

Mirrors. He'd watched Katsuki do his skin care routine for years, his hair held back by colored clips, smirking at Izuku through his reflection.

But the memory was bittersweet, it was a young Katsuki in his mind’s eye, leaner than the one before him now and in love with Izuku.

"We can't all be as handsome as you, Kacchan.”

"You never cared about how I looked.” Katsuki frowned, unsure if Izuku was mocking him.

Izuku shook his head. "I would have found you blinding either way.”

Katsuki narrowed his eyes at Izuku. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. I just… I miss —”

A sigh.

“I’m sorry, Kacchan. I want things that I can’t have anymore. Just let me wallow for tonight and I’ll be okay tomorrow, alright?”

Izuku gave him a weak smile and turned to go back in but was stopped by Katsuki’s hand circling his wrist.

“C’mon, nerd,” Katsuki said, softer than Izuku was expecting. “My place is near here. Let’s go talk.”

The last time Izuku was in Katsuki's home, it had been his as well. They had lived in a one-bedroom flat in the heart of Tokyo, exchanging floor space for closer proximity to their agencies. Izuku had been happy there.

Katsuki’s new home was huge, befitting the #1 pro hero 3 yrs running. It had nothing of Izuku in it. He had to remind himself he'd been happy in other places too.

Izuku took the offered beer & walked over to the panoramic windows, showing an impressive view of the Tokyo skyline.

“The man you almost married. Is he who you’re missing? Did we just hit an anniversary or something?”

Izuku considered what to say. They'd gone from not talking about things to direct questions, peeling away thin but effectively constructed barriers.

“No, nothing like that. I missed you a lot more when we first broke up,” Izuku admitted. “We were able to talk when we ended it, him and I. I can call him up now and he’d answer. You and me, Kacchan, we didn’t have that.”

“You blocked me, Deku. You didn’t tell me you were leaving Japan. You just left,” there was a world of hurt Izuku hadn’t expected in Katsuki’s voice.

Izuku didn’t leave Japan until 2 months after they broke up. He hadn’t begun working on his transfer until 3 weeks had passed and there had been no word from Katsuki.

Katsuki needn’t have searched far to find him; Izuku had been staying with Todoroki who worked in the same agency. A simple “do you know where the nerd is” during one of their patrols would have been enough.

But Izuku didn’t say any of that. It was all a long time ago.

“We weren’t together anymore, Kacchan. I wanted a fresh start.”

“I went to see you,” Katsuki said, fingers fiddling with his beer bottle.

“What?”

“Three years ago. I just took #1. I thought I’d show you how far I’d gone.”

“You never contacted me,” Izuku said with a frown. “Did you?”

“I didn’t see the point. I saw you on TV admitting you were seeing someone. You looked happy.”

Izuku closed his eyes. Three years ago he’d been 28 years old, three years removed from having Katsuki in his life, happy with someone else. He remembered hearing about Ground Zero finally reaching # 1, remembered wondering how he’s been and if he’s finally happy.

“When did you give up on us, Deku?” Katsuki asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Izuku’s eyes flew open.

“When did I — ” he sputtered, suddenly angry. “Fuck you,Kacchan! You were the one who didn’t want me. I fucking cried over you for a year. You don’t get to dump this on me.”

Izuku had thought he was all cried out and was wrong, he didn’t realize he had anger to spare as well. He walked to the kitchen and put the beer bottle on the counter, worried he’d break it in his agitation. He’d gone from sad to angry in seconds.

Another bottle joined his on the counter. Izuku turned around to find Katsuki close, boxing him in.

“You’re angry.”

“You think?” Izuku said, chest heaving with indignation.

He felt Katsuki’s touch on his elbow, hand trailing down until it circled his wrist, not quite holding his hand. Izuku moved to draw his hand away but Katsuki’s held firm, his thumb on his pulse, dipping to the flesh of his palm.

“I expected anger when you came back. Maybe for you to ignore me. Bitch at me. Something. Anything. You just smiled at me, like we were strangers.”

Izuku shook his head.

“I wasn’t angry! I didn’t want to fight. It was all so long ago. I just — I was just happy to see you, Kacchan. Weren’t you?” Izuku said, his anger draining as fast as it had come, a little lost at the idea Katsuki had been less than pleased at their reunion.

“I didn’t know how I felt. I knew I missed you. I was so angry when you left, so fucking angry for a long time. And I hated you a little for moving on. But I missed you anyway.”

Katsuki lifted his other hand, brushing his knuckles gently over Izuku’s temple, just above his ear.

“Wanna hear something fucked up?”

Izuku nodded, his eyes beginning to tear up.

“I see you now. I get to hear your stupid laugh. But I miss you more now than I did when you were gone.”

Katsuki’s thumb was perfectly placed to catch Izuku’s tears as they fell, wiping them away.

The first touch of Katsuki’s lips on his was tentative, unsure of his welcome. Izuku whimpered, felt everything inside him respond at the contact. He leaned into the kiss, moving his lips in sweet welcome.

The hand around Izuku’s wrist loosened its hold and moved up, both hands now on either side of Izuku’s face, tilting it up for Katsuki’s kisses. Izuku gave himself into the kiss, lost in the sensation. Katsuki’s tongue swiped across his lips, seeking entrance. Izuku obliged.

Izuku’s hand reached up to splay across Katsuki’s broad chest, the other hot around his neck, using it as leverage as he stood on his toes to reach as much of Katsuki as he could.

They were both panting when Katsuki broke off the kiss, short of breath.

Izuku exhaled a shuddery breath.

“What are we doing, Kacchan? I’m not very good with one night stands. And especially not with you.”

“Dammit, Deku. I don’t just want a quick fuck,” Katsuki said, voice heavy with emotion, touching their foreheads together.

“Stop seeing other people, Deku. Be with me.”

“Kacchan…”

“Come home. Isn’t it time you came back home?”

Because Izuku is Izuku, he started crying.

===========================

They’re lying in bed. Izuku traced the jagged scar that slashed across Katsuki’s left side. It had mostly faded white now but it would have been a deep wound, wide and gaping.

He wondered how close Katsuki had come to dying that time. Izuku hadn’t even known about it.

“Hey, eyes up here,” Katsuki said, a finger under Izuku’s chin ensuring he obeyed.

“Was it bad?”

“Bad enough.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Izuku said, and he was.

“You’re here now.”

Izuku crawled up the bed, fitting himself snug against Katsuki’s side, as if he never left it.

“You still sleep on the right side of the bed,” he murmured against skin smelling of burnt sweetness.

“No one’s been in my bed long enough to make me change sides,” Katsuki replied.

Izuku snuggled closer.

“We can get rings tomorrow,” Katsuki said.

Izuku lifted his head in surprise. “Rings?”

“I’ve got enough friends, Deku.”

“Oh. We won’t be able to wear it. Hero work.”