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Today I& #39;m going to be talking about subdrop and aftercare. We& #39;ll also be talking about the little known: domdrop!
These are all SUPER important terms for all D/s and kink play, and many of you have experienced this stuff without realizing it, I& #39;m sure.
Take notes, cuties!
These are all SUPER important terms for all D/s and kink play, and many of you have experienced this stuff without realizing it, I& #39;m sure.
Take notes, cuties!
What is subdrop? Well, let& #39;s look at the name. It& #39;s when a sub feels an emotional and physical "drop" post-play.
Why might this happen, though?
Play can be very intense. It can be painful, it can be humiliating, it can simply be vulnerable feelings that come with submitting.
Why might this happen, though?
Play can be very intense. It can be painful, it can be humiliating, it can simply be vulnerable feelings that come with submitting.
First the symptoms of subdrop. These are only some! Every sub experiences it differently, and they may not have all of them.
- Anxiety
- Feeling sad, empty, guilty
- Crying
- Tired, weak
- Trouble concentrating
Sound familiar? It& #39;s a lot like depression.
- Anxiety
- Feeling sad, empty, guilty
- Crying
- Tired, weak
- Trouble concentrating
Sound familiar? It& #39;s a lot like depression.
Subdrop can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days, even a week or more at times depending on the severity.
Because of this, it& #39;s important to understand where the feelings are coming from, and how to deal with them.
Next up we& #39;ll be discussing the actual causes.
Because of this, it& #39;s important to understand where the feelings are coming from, and how to deal with them.
Next up we& #39;ll be discussing the actual causes.
In many ways, subdrop ties to the chemistry of your body. Hormones can be released through play. Endorphins flood your body, as does adrenaline.
Many subs get a rush, a sort of natural "high" that comes from these hormones. It& #39;s pleasurable!
What goes up must come down, though.
Many subs get a rush, a sort of natural "high" that comes from these hormones. It& #39;s pleasurable!
What goes up must come down, though.
After play, these hormones eventually leave your body... leaving what& #39;s basically an empty space.
It takes time for your body to get back to normal function, and it is that period in-between that can lead to subdrop.
As mentioned prior, this period can take quite some time.
It takes time for your body to get back to normal function, and it is that period in-between that can lead to subdrop.
As mentioned prior, this period can take quite some time.
Emotions also play into this. It is unclear exactly whether the chemical imbalance leads to the negative emotions, or vice versa. In many cases, it likely mingles together!
I& #39;ll give a really easy example of how play can lead to emotions - degradation is perfect to look at.
I& #39;ll give a really easy example of how play can lead to emotions - degradation is perfect to look at.
Example:
Your sub might know you care about them, but play can be really vulnerable.
Degrading them through play - calling them worthless, pathetic, or even just using them like a toy, can be harmful to their self-image if they& #39;re not built back up after.
Your sub might know you care about them, but play can be really vulnerable.
Degrading them through play - calling them worthless, pathetic, or even just using them like a toy, can be harmful to their self-image if they& #39;re not built back up after.
So post-degradation, your sub might be stuck on the things you& #39;ve called them. They might feel bad about it, they& #39;ll feel down... and then these feelings continue.
And that& #39;s sub-drop as well. The same goes for any kind of intense play. "The person I love hit me!" for example.
And that& #39;s sub-drop as well. The same goes for any kind of intense play. "The person I love hit me!" for example.
Before we discuss how to deal with subdrop (through aftercare), I& #39;m going to talk about domdrop.
Domdrop is just as real as subdrop, but it& #39;s much less known. It& #39;s often expected that a dom is "sturdier," but of course, a dom is a person too!
Now, why might domdrop happen?
Domdrop is just as real as subdrop, but it& #39;s much less known. It& #39;s often expected that a dom is "sturdier," but of course, a dom is a person too!
Now, why might domdrop happen?
For the same reasons as subdrop, really!
Getting in that powerful role is a rush, isn& #39;t it? Emotions flare, hormones fill your body. And then after play... they fade away. It& #39;s the exact same here.
Emotions are likely even more important when it comes to domdrop, I would say.
Getting in that powerful role is a rush, isn& #39;t it? Emotions flare, hormones fill your body. And then after play... they fade away. It& #39;s the exact same here.
Emotions are likely even more important when it comes to domdrop, I would say.
When you& #39;re a dom engaging in intense play, you& #39;re the one doing these things to your partner - and you& #39;re enjoying it.
You& #39;re hurting them, humiliating them, and you& #39;re loving it. And that& #39;s where the guilt comes from.
You& #39;re hurting them, humiliating them, and you& #39;re loving it. And that& #39;s where the guilt comes from.
With the knowledge of what causes subdrop and domdrop in mind, we can now talk about how to prevent them!
And that, friends, is aftercare!
Most of you have heard of this I& #39;m sure, but I& #39;ll go into specific details and also explain the different ways it can be done.
And that, friends, is aftercare!
Most of you have heard of this I& #39;m sure, but I& #39;ll go into specific details and also explain the different ways it can be done.
Aftercare is, as it sounds like, taking care of your sub after a scene is over.
There are a lot of ways to do this - most are physical, and I know many of you play online. I& #39;ll talk about both here. ^^
I will talk about physical first as it is more standard. Expect overlap.
There are a lot of ways to do this - most are physical, and I know many of you play online. I& #39;ll talk about both here. ^^
I will talk about physical first as it is more standard. Expect overlap.
Physical Aftercare:
- First aid if necessary
- Cuddle with the sub
- Bundle them up in a blanket
- Keep them hydrated
- Chocolate or other sweet, yummy foods
- Talk with them and let them know they are loved
- Debrief in general after; discuss what was liked/disliked.
- First aid if necessary
- Cuddle with the sub
- Bundle them up in a blanket
- Keep them hydrated
- Chocolate or other sweet, yummy foods
- Talk with them and let them know they are loved
- Debrief in general after; discuss what was liked/disliked.
As it sounds, most of this is basically just snuggling them and taking care of them.
Hydration is obvious, but why chocolate? It& #39;ll help their blood sugar and give them some nice oxytocin they might be lacking post-play.
Hydration is obvious, but why chocolate? It& #39;ll help their blood sugar and give them some nice oxytocin they might be lacking post-play.
Online Aftercare:
This is more difficult, so we need to focus on two different categories.
One of these is what the dom can do for the sub, the other is what the sub can do for themselves. These are both important here!
This is more difficult, so we need to focus on two different categories.
One of these is what the dom can do for the sub, the other is what the sub can do for themselves. These are both important here!
For Doms:
- Focus on them until they& #39;ve recovered
- Be sweet, be caring
- Praise them, make sure they know they did good
- Make it clear they& #39;re not worthless, a loser, etc.
- Basically, just be warm, welcoming, and kind. Show you care about them and appreciate them.
- Focus on them until they& #39;ve recovered
- Be sweet, be caring
- Praise them, make sure they know they did good
- Make it clear they& #39;re not worthless, a loser, etc.
- Basically, just be warm, welcoming, and kind. Show you care about them and appreciate them.
For subs:
- Keep water and a snack (chocolate?) nearby
- Be ready with some relaxing, comfy music, whatever you like. I recommend lo-fi or bossa nova.
- A blanket, a plushie, etc.
- Scented candles, lotions, a bath...
- Basically, self-care! Whatever makes you cozy and happy.
- Keep water and a snack (chocolate?) nearby
- Be ready with some relaxing, comfy music, whatever you like. I recommend lo-fi or bossa nova.
- A blanket, a plushie, etc.
- Scented candles, lotions, a bath...
- Basically, self-care! Whatever makes you cozy and happy.
Aftercare is really important and can either make drop a lot less painful, or sometimes even eliminate it.
It is also a good idea to check in with your sub the next day to see how they& #39;re doing!
Aftercare for doms is a lot like aftercare for subs. You can figure it out. c:
It is also a good idea to check in with your sub the next day to see how they& #39;re doing!
Aftercare for doms is a lot like aftercare for subs. You can figure it out. c:
