I'm going to talk a bit about a BDSM thing called CGL (better known as DDLG, which is the male dom/female sub version) and how I feel about it as someone who considers myself a little. Also as a CSA survivor.

CGL (Caregiver/little) got attacked by radfem/anti-kink/anti-BDSM blogs A LOT back in the Tumblr days and that hate has spread outside that radfem circle as well. Accusing it of "fetishizing trauma/pedophilia", accusing ppl who are into it of being pedos, etc.

So here's what I actually love about it.

BDSM in general is about power dynamics. Some people like to be submissive during sex, some people like to be dominant, different ppl look for different things.

D/s scenes are all about forgetting who u are in your regular daily life and pretending u can be someone (or something) else for a while. That can be arousing, comforting, empowering, etc. Even all those things at once. They're not mutually exclusive.

And here's a thing about adulthood: it's stressful. Being an adult usually implies being hyper-aware of social norms and what is/isn't considered acceptable/"normal" behavior in social situations and acting accordingly.

You can't just sit on the ground for no reason in the middle of the road and roll on the ground without ppl looking at u like you're a weirdo. You can't start dancing/singing (badly) randomly. You can't jump up and down for no apparent reason. Come on, you're not a kid anymore.

You must control yourself. That's what being an adult means. You smile when you have to, act serious when you have to, you don't talk to imaginary friends, you must be always aware of what image of yourself you're conveying to others.

Yeah, it's normal. But it's also stressful.

Wouldn't it be nice if, maybe for just a few hours a week--maybe just a few hours a month--you could just do any of those things without having to worry? Sure, only your datefriend(s)/spouse will be around, but you won't get any weird looks from them. They will even play along.

And not in an "ugh i cant believe i have to do this..." kind of way, but in a genuine "this looks fun, i would love to play along, you look so happy and relaxed when we do this, i love it" kind of way?
They genuinely want to do this for you, /with/ you.

Maybe you're used to doing so many things at home-- cooking, doing the laundry, worrying about so many things, but when you finally do /this/ all that stuff disappears for a while. your datefriend(s)/spouse will do everything for you instead, and will spoil you rotten.

You feel safe, relaxed, comfortable, happy. Just for a little while, it's like being a child again but /even better/, because there are no parents mistreating you or having high expectations or any of that, just your lover(s) who won't do anything you haven't already discussed-

-and decided will be ok to do.
And the scene can stop at any time, just say the (safe)word!
For a while, you're happy and loved and safe and completely FREE.

But you're also not /really/ a child anymore, you're actually an adult who might have certain adult desires...

like sexual desire. You love your lover(s) and find them hot. You like having sex with them (unless ur not into sex, which is also ok).

And being is such a happy and relaxed state as an adult (bc, again, ur not Really a child anymore) might also make u all mushy...

and u might want to cuddle and touch them and have sex with them. Bc you're actually an adult who likes having sex.

So during these moments, these /scenes/, sex might also happen. You both love it and are happy with that.

Just like these scenes relieve the shame about acting more "childish" than society expects u to, it can also relieve the shame society often associates with sex and being sexual, which means having sex during this kind of scene can be very freeing for some people

especially those who feel profound shame about having any sexual desires. Like many survivors do, for example.

This all sounds really nice, not at all something scary or gross, it sound comfy, right?

Well, it's exactly what CGL/DDLG actually is.

Anyone who, looking at it from the outside, tries to paint it as p*dophilia or "fetishizing" p*dophilia is just projecting their own ignorance onto others.

Does that mean petplay fetishizes z*ophilia/b*stiality.....??

People finding it gross or cringy or not understanding it doesn't mean they can take away things that are so nice and good to others and make serious accusations. Said accusations are especially hurtful to survivors, who are compared to their abusers over.....this???

Personally, there's also another trauma-related thing that makes CGL so good to me. When I feel happy/comfortable, I tend to act more... childishly. It's the only way (and the most spontaneous way) I know to express my happiness and affection.

This is likely trauma-related and something I always feel ashamed of and makes me feel anxious over showing my emotions.

So CGL takes away all that shame and anxiety and makes me feel... at home, honestly.

If anyone says I'm "retraumatizing myself", they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. The only ones "retraumatizing" me is them, by implying shit like that in the first place.

"Why would u enjoy scenes in which someone babies u, doesnt expect u to do much, does things in your stead, showers u with affection, doesn't act like ur cringy/too childish/etc if u pout or giggle or dance or meow or act weird, makes u feel safe and protected,

AND also makes u feel REALLY GOOD bc ur actually an adult and u love sex?"

GEE! I WONDER WHY ANYONE WOULD ENJOY THAT!!!

And that's all for now. This is why I personally love CGL.
That's the flavor of CGL I personally love.

Different ppl will like different things tho, so some littles like to act bratty and provoke their dom bc they want to be punished, for example.
Different ppl, different needs.

(Also, since ppl often don't know the difference: CGL doesn't involve any diaper stuff. Diaper stuff is called ABDL and the 2 things can intersect if someone is into both but most of the time don't. Just wanted to specify since some ppl might think theyre the same thing...)

Adding some examples of the kind of shit SWERFs say about people who are into cgl. Notice all the death threats and terms like "freaks", "brain rot" and "porn addiction" https://twitter.com/dionysiaca/status/1225923678132678656?s=20