quotes of the day because my friends and i are idiots: a thread
be mindful these will be left out of context for reader interpretation https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ€Ą" title="Clown face" aria-label="Emoji: Clown face">
"and that& #39;s on International Love by Pitbull."
"bro i completely forgot i said & #39;you kill me& #39; and i thought you were asking for advice on how to properly murder me"
"what imma run my fingers through? air? what i& #39;m finna rub? his scalp? mf got a magic lamp from aladdin for a cranium rn"
"hot milk pants"
"I HATE STRAIGHT BITCHES ON GOD"
"why y& #39;all goin so damn fart"
"i& #39;m going to start sending my car in the ditch as a reaction meme"
"ok miss a.d.d."
"bitch tryna MichĂšl bĂčblĂš"
"forget kpop bias who’s your bias in animal crossing"
"waldyn& #39;s like my little airman"

"are you talking about a wingman?"
"you can& #39;t handle the scandal"
"he was NOT tryna read jane eyre!"
"first off i& #39;m not a hoe i& #39;m a bimp."
"thanks good mornoonight"
"oh word? i thought that was cause i& #39;m bipolar"
"cheer the fuck up dude. get more duded."
"what you lack in hands, you make up in personality, waldyn."
"carried? as in like, guns?"
"no, as in JIM."
"& #39;Water Makes You Gay, Straight Man Says& #39;."

"that& #39;s why i only drink beer."
"if you ever get a c section, i& #39;ll tell your husband to do that."
"i just spent 5 mins on my spotify thinking it was my twitter. just wanted you to know how much of a dumbass i am"
"i’m sick of this yee haw language just talk normal"
"ceo of imagery"
"i& #39;m finna take some r&r. rest and regret, bitch."
"you a spooky bitch"
https://twitter.com/nydlaw/status/1188587254740074496?s=21">https://twitter.com/nydlaw/st... https://twitter.com/nydlaw/status/1188587254740074496">https://twitter.com/nydlaw/st...
https://twitter.com/nydlaw/status/1187310470375587840?s=21">https://twitter.com/nydlaw/st... https://twitter.com/nydlaw/status/1187310470375587840">https://twitter.com/nydlaw/st...
me: *starts listening to all i want on call*

kayden: oh my god here we go
"legally i& #39;m female so i could kick her ass."
"i love caroline jolene wolfhard, lesbian icon."
"finn wolfhard saying that brad pitt is a god amongst men makes me feel some type of way."

"is he....you know....."
"don& #39;t you like swarms?"

"swarms?"

"yeah the band."

"you mean SWMRS?"
"rest in hyuck"
"you& #39;re my favorite person in the world, i love you so much"

"that& #39;s crazy, & #39;cause i& #39;m my favorite person too!"
"you are TOO bold this morning."
"is that a complaint i smell ???"

"when did i compliment you"
"Oh. Interesting."

IYKYK
"you said small gasp out loud ???"
"you& #39;re not being your usual annoying, harry styles fawning, r5 obsessed self. you good?"
"when bitches say they ain& #39;t got no support. but bae, i be in yo corner rn"
"my body dysmorphia demon hates u but i love you :( <3"
"pad. no auntie flo."
"you gotta breathe and find ya woosah bitch."
"wrong digit"
"my birthmark is my chronic nosebleeds!"
"that& #39;s why it came out on july 4, cause it& #39;s thanksgiving themed."
"like, none of them were cute and they were all 5& #39;6"."
"these things are gargantuan!"
"can i claim my onlyfans on my taxes??"
"wait.....then that means mucus would break up." https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ„ș" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">
"do you mean LUMAX?"
"wait, is it not mucus?" https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
"should i let you go so you can go whoosh whoosh at yourself or"
"punching the water hole"
"and that& #39;s on phat pussy club"
"he& #39;d look at you and be like & #39;God first. spark boo woof& #39;."
"God love her...and i& #39;m God."
"i ain& #39;t got tig ole bitties tho :("
"you got a tig ole heart!!!"
"do you wanna see if we get gay?"
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