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Saturday night I was asked if I would take the opportunity to help prepare a Muslim woman’s body for burial. I had never done it before and I was actually terrified because: 1. I’d never been physically close to someone dead and 2. I feared I’d make a mistake
Many families opt out of preparing a dead relative. The Prophet ﷺ had actually specified his family be responsible for caring for his body. This woman had died a natural death, which would make it easier to wash compared to the night before which consisted of a car crash victim
I said yes because I knew as a Muslim I needed to do this at least once in my life. And if my family members requested I care for their bodies, I wanted to have experience. I wanted to do it right, the way I’d want my own body prepared for the grave and to meet my Lord.
Any Muslim can prepare a dead body for burial, preferably same sex or Mahram. This made me realize how comfortable Islam is with the concept of death, how compared to American culture, Muslims are encouraged to discuss death, the grave, the next life.
Preparing the body consists of rinsing, Ghusl, perfuming the parts of the body that touch the ground in sujood (forehead, nose, palms, knees, bottom of the toes), wrapping the body in the kafn (large white sheets, which were also perfumes), and placing it in the coffin
The body was cold, took me by surprise, though it shouldn’t have. The process was... peaceful. It was myself and 4 women. We took turns doing each step. Everything was done with tenderness & delicately. One woman did the step of washing her face for wudu. She did it so sweetly.
For women, the kafn includes a hijab. You wrap it right side over left side, just like you put your hands on your chest in salah. A sunnah was also to braid the hair. And any hair that fell off during the cleansing was collected and placed in the hijab to go to the grave with her
It is said that when we are born, the Athan is recited in one ear and Iqama is recited in the second ear. That is why the janazah prayer doesn’t include either. The timespan of our life is the period between Iqama and Allahu Akbar. It is short.
In contrast to non-Muslims (as if they are denying death can take a body), we do not use preservatives for the body. The body is meant to return to the earth, the dust it was before creation. Allah will resurrect it on the day of judgment.
Doing this was fulfilling a Fard Kifaya, an obligation that one can do for the entire community. I prayed Allah forgive her sins, make it easy for her in the grave, and the same for me. I prayed I die a Muslim, be washed the way a Muslim is to be washed, be buried a Muslim.
When I left, I cried realizing the Prophet ﷺ left this world too and he ﷺ was washed the same way, and I will be washed the same way.
