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You've probably heard of bi lesbians and pan lesbians by now; hi, I'm a queer lesbian 
I also sometimes describe myself as gay, or just queer, or bi+ (a reference to the bi umbrella).
I believe no identity term should be strictly defined and that policing others' identities is harmful to all of us.
I believe no identity term should be strictly defined and that policing others' identities is harmful to all of us.
The word "queer" can be used as an umbrella term for the whole LGBTQIA+ community, or as a specific term for an individual's sexual orientation and/or gender. We can tell which sense is being used from context.
"Lesbian" can be used in both ways, too (as an umbrella term for all wlw or as a specific orientation); neither usage will erase the other.
I know these thoughts/statements will make some people in what I consider my community angry, and that makes me sad. But it's also a big part of why these things keep needing to be said. And I will continue to hope for & work for greater inclusion. Assimilation will not save us.
You might wonder what "queer lesbian" means, to me. Well, I haven't dated or had sex with a man (outside of sex work) since I began IDing as a lesbian 14 years ago. I had a long-term partner come out as transmasc; I primarily seem to be attracted to women & nonbinary folks.
However, I'm not ruling out the possibility of being attracted to a man. Hell, I currently have a male friend with whom there's some chance of making out at some point, possibly even sex!
This particular guy is queer (bi & trans) and the fact that he's queer is likely part of why I'm open to those possibilities. But he's definitely a man, and I certainly can't say there's no possibility that I could be attracted to some individual allocishet man at some point. 
I've been slowly realizing that another term I think fits me is GNC. At least at times.
(That's gender non-conforming, not General Nutrition Centers, for anyone who's new to this stuff)
Also: femdyke! 
So I keep thinking about this part of the thread, and I want to clarify that by "women & nonbinary folks" I don't mean just afab people and I don't mean just femmes. I literally mean "women and people of various nonbinary genders, regardless of agab." https://twitter.com/sextoyspolitics/status/1216876778657988608
At the time I wrote that, I didn't fully understand all the ways people use "women & nonbinary people" as a dogwhistle.
