Thread by @mamaztheguru, .....BAMBOOZLED: Catching a S*gar D*ddy Catfish *a thread* Let me say a [...]

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BAMBOOZLED: Catching a S*gar D*ddy Catfish

*a thread*

Let me say a couple things before I begin:

1. I am, in fact, an experienced SB.

2. There may not be a big lesson within this story, but I’m pulling it from my vault of Crazy Shit I Experienced.

So just stfu and laugh at my pain.

3. DONT rush me to type this. I’m super sick rn. Coughing and all.

Cool? Cool.

Let me set the scene.

I sugar dated in college a bit. Mostly for quick $$ for books and tuition cuz I paid out of pockets.

**there are arrangements where you meet the SD and there are arrangements where you DONT have to meet him.

Also—

From here on out:
SB- s*gar b*by
SD- s*gar b*by

Whatever you do, DONT SPELL OUT THOSE WORDS. The scamming ‘daddies’ WILL find you!!

Sorry. SD= s*gar d*ddy.

BLAME MY FEVER.

Also. This is not the thread for this.

I may be open to taking DONATIONS for S*gar D*ting advice in the future. But this isn’t that. Sorry.

https://twitter.com/singerbreahna/status/1216861777507389440?s=21 https://twitter.com/SingerBreahna/status/1216861777507389440

https://twitter.com/singerbreahna/status/1216861777507389440?s=21

Now. Back to it.

Like I said, I had a few arrangements in college. But this time, I was NOT in college.

This is a real life scenario. No website. No social media. I met him face to face.

And technically, that’s how REAL SUGD(s*gar dating) initiates.

Now.

I’m at a hotel for a small conference on Social Justice for Minorities. Right?

It was almost 6, I was bored, alone, so I went to the hotel bar.

Looking good. Per usual.

Here I am, drinking my double shot of henny

LMFAOOO

And this bad bitch bartender brings me another shot of henny and says “this is from him” as she nods across the room.

Bitch, this is some shit straight out of a movie!!!!!

I’m like

And then... I see him.

Brown skinned.
Peppered beard.
A lineup so sharp it could cut thru metal.

And this nigga had on a fur.

I’m like oh SHIT.

Like I’ve said plenty of times, we don’t get too hype over these niggas.

So I just nodded, smiled real cute and turned back around.

Also like I’ve said before, my shoulders, back, and legs are super sexy. My fave body parts besides my kitty....and ass.

They were out.

Checkmate, bitch.

Me and the bartender exchange a look.

I took a good two sips of my current drink....and...nothing.

I’m like damn. I should’ve went over there. LMAOOO

I’m just on my phone....watching the bar TV, eavesdropping. Making small talk with the bartender (cuz she was fine as hell.) All that shit.

The bartender then comes back to where I’m sitting and whispers

“bitchhhh he is coming over here”

My mind/chest:

Now, listen, I’m pretty social. So I wasn’t necessarily nervous about him coming over or having to talk to him.

I was more so nervous because he was so damn FINE from what I saw in that little glance.

Normal jitters.

You know?

I pull myself together.

Then I feel him to my right.

I do a little side look... I swear I still remember his fucking cologne scent

TO THIS DAY.

But he didn’t say anything to me.

He slides a $100 bill to the bartender, & says ‘have a good night, ladies’

turns around.

Leaves.

Bitch....

Me and the bartender:

Cuz bitch. WHAT.

Still to this day I remember how salty I was!! LMFAOOOO

I finish my drinks. BOTH. And go back to my room.

But maaaaaan that nigga was on my mind.

Part of me was like “that’s wtf he wanted you to do... think of him”

Other part was like “bitch. He’s just playing hard to get. “

I should also add he was NOT at the next day’s seminar...

I’m literally unsure why he was at the hotel, I never asked.

Anyway. It’s 6pm the next day.

I get cute and go BACK to the bar.

The bartender and I When we saw eachother:

I’m chatting it up with sis.

And like 30 minutes into me being there she comes back over and is like

“HES BACK”

This time, I DONT look back.

Cuz he had me fucked up last time LMFAOOO

I was drinking water and lemon because I lowkey expected him to come back and I lowkey expected him to send me another drink or approach me this time.

Another 10 minutes go by and he comes to my right again.

“Hey little lady”

I remember thinking “oh this man is old as hell. Talking about “little lady””

But I want to emphasize again how fine he was.

He shakes my hand.

Introduced himself. For the sake of anonymity we’ll just call him SD.

SD asks the bartender to pour us some Henny.

Men who drink henny have big dick energy in my opinion.

And they be FREAKZ.

We toast and have a taste.

I said sumn slick and flirty like “it was about time you approached me” or sumn like that to REEL HIM IN.

We talked, flirted, laughed, for about an hour and a half.

Had like....hmm... maybe 4-5 shots of hen.

However, a bitch knows how to handle her liq.

BUT I *was* feeling that sht tho.

Like.. the jumanji drums were playing in the background but I was trying not to be a fucking whore.

Also, what I found out from him was:

1. He was 52. (But looked so good!)
2. Not married. Lol.
3. Was in the business of finances
4. A New York native. Was in town for business.

Ok. Let me speed this up.

I decide to end our interaction. Told him it was nice talking to him and thanks for the drink.

I shake his hand but he held it when I tried to let go.

I’m like

“I wanna see you again” he said.

But like I always say.... we ain’t pressed over these niggas.

So I told him that was sweet but I’m busy.

Which I fucking WASNT LMFAOOOO

Then the nigga asks what room I was in.

Yeah right.

I jokingly tell him I wasn’t gonna tell him because he could be crazy.

I ain’t have my gun or nothing at this hotel. I was not about to put myself in danger cuz bitch no.

However, he DID have my name and knew I was staying there.

I....accidentally said gun

I meant pepper spray (:

Ahahaha, I’m sick

I go to my room

Bitch. I was SOAKED. he was so fucking fine. Had that sexual energy but also the energy that he used to be a drug kingpin or some shit.

He was articulate but also knew Ebonics and slang.

His smile was perfect and I was thinking abt the way he held my hand

Like I said earlier... this was some shit straight out a ducking movie.

And bitch I swear to GOD

The next morning room service came with a fucking tray of fruit and fancy ass French toast.

Bro. My jaw was on the floor.

How could I forget to add, it was a little note that said to meet him at the hotel spa at 10.

Bitch it was 8:30.

I ain’t never shave & exfoliate so fucking fast in my life LMFAOOOO

Thank GOD my toes were done LMFAO

I eat a little bit and head down to the spa.

SD was there... in a robe......... looking rather fucking snackish.

Got us a COUPLES MASSAGE?????

Ummm I’m like ....ok... this is a standard SD/SB case.

But I was cool wit that.

This time, I gave him my number as a Thankyou.

This time, we hugged goodbye and when I got back to my room the nigga used my number and sent me $100.

I’m like yo

Ima speed this up and leave out extra details.

I just wanted y’all to know that man was COURTING ME.

The conference is over and I didn’t get to see him before I left the hotel.

We had been texting a lot and shit.

He called me on my way home.

Let’s get to the REAL. MOTHERFUCKING. TEA.

I 100% expected our friendship to die down before I wasn’t in that area, no longer at the hotel, we were back to our normal life.

There were even times I’d forgotten to reply to him and shit.

Long story short, it had been a solid 2 weeks since we had an in depth convo.

BUT-

That man wired a smooth $1,000 total to my bank account and bought me shit I asked for like food, small gifts, and he paid my phone bill 3 months in advance.

It was... pretty cool.

Now. Like I said. We didn’t really speak for 2 weeks.

Then boom.

“Can I see you again soon”

My pussy damn near leaped out my pants.

I didn’t have sex with him but boyyyyyy did I want to LMAO.

He sent me money to pay for a sitter, got us a room, and sent an UberXL to pick me up.

Bitch.

I sent a couple friends my location and shit and let them know wassup JUST IN CASE.

Ps. Everyone should do this when you’re going out with someone or something like that.

I get there and go to the room

I wish I could say he set that shit up so romantic with rose petals and shit.

That’s some shit ive YET to experience. But he was in there.

With champagne, a chocolate cake, and a can of whipped cream and strawberries on the table.

I’m like

He poured us some champagne and honestly... we got straight to it.

The sexual tension was evident.

I was worried he wasn’t gon be able to keep up (this is/was my first and only time sleeping with a SD)

But bitch *EYE* couldn’t keep up.

That nigga was so nasty.

I mean, real nasty bro.

There’s some shit I don’t wanna say LMFAOOOO

Ok. I will say ONE nasty thing he did.

(I’m keeping explicit content limited to my future podcast)

But here goes—

He knows I’m into a lil ass play.

He took a strawberry and put it in my ass. And yes. It felt good as FCK.

Then he licked all over it and ate it when he was finished.

Bitch..... LMFAOOOO he was on some other shit.

There was not an inch of my body that wasn’t in his mouth. Lmao.

Fuck.

So I’m sitting there... chocolate cake on my titties....

Then BOOM.

Chickens and turkeys filled the room in a full-out WAR.

And then.. we get abducted by aliens!!!

LMFAOOOOOO

For those of y’all who don’t understand the reference skdksskskjd

https://twitter.com/afrohontas/status/1216023266906845184?s=21 https://twitter.com/mamaztheguru/status/1216023266906845184