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This has been on my mind for a while, and honestly its about time i actually tell everyone about the real me. This past year I haven't really been truthful about much.. and its been killing me and im scared to lose everyone, My life is basically a lie and most parts of it are -
just my own personal fantasy so that people accept me, I got fired from my job about a month or two ago and i've been just sitting at home all day doing nothing. I'd spend time on discord if i could but my dad somehow still sets limits on what I use during the day so i can only -
use my laptop (that was given to me by my school) around 8 pm PST for about an Hour, sometimes when he's out at the movies and such you can see me on when im not supposed to cuz if imma be fr i'm fucking bored all day and jus to see how shit is all the time kinda relieves me -
only times i'm ever on all day are when im at school cuz i have no time constraint from my dad, I don't really have a PC either to use, Only console i have to access or use to myself is an Xbox 360 i've had for almost 10 years that freezes every once in a while.
I don't have a phone, I haven't had one since i was 14 or 15 and got it taken away and my dad hasn't let me have one since, I tried to get one from a friend and he smashed it to pieces which kinda pissed me off, On top of that im just constantly seeking attention for some odd -
reason, its like im insecure in a way. I try too hard to be funny and my grades are pretty shit. I go to a continuation school cuz i never gave a shit and slacked off 24/7. I never really buy stuff on top of that.. I've promised so many people that i'd "gift subs" to people -
when in reality i didn't even have money to spend.. all my subs are gifted by friends and I have homies who literally helped me out when i haven't done jack shit for them... like my homie andrew who literally gave me $25 just to buy xbox live and my homie aziz who bought me 6-
months of xbox live last year and i never once payed them back... I try so hard to be someone im not and it pains me.. to do that to people. So many of you im surrounded by and im terrified of losing every single one of you.
you all see me as the "Professional Retard" on twitter but in reality im just some bum going thru a family crisis all the time. I'm turning 18 in august and I have literally no plans, I wanted to move in with my mom who's always moving and is currently in Arizona.. but idk.. -
I don't get along with my dad for personal reasons and if anything imma be fucking homeless.., Just some retard with so many restrictions and based off lies who's scared of getting clowned on for not being able to get on CS with their homies or Hop on fort whenever they want.
I just dont wanna be fake with anyone anymore.. And I don't care if I end up alone again.. If you all leave thats okay, Like i stated once more i'm just tired of living a lie. If you stick around i'm glad you're accepting me for who I really am and not some fake..
