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How I Almost Died Because Of Woman
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It was few weeks after I resumed 100lv in Uniben, 2015. All I wanted to do was explore my new found freedom to the fullest. I loved the nightlife, and wanted to fully enjoy it while chasing
#30DaysofThreads
#BarthTales
#OgunTwitterHangout
It was few weeks after I resumed 100lv in Uniben, 2015. All I wanted to do was explore my new found freedom to the fullest. I loved the nightlife, and wanted to fully enjoy it while chasing
girls with every opportunity I had
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">
I usually stay out late on campus till 1-2am before going into my hostel.
Some days, I go to study in "night class". But do I actually read? You wish.
I just chill with my guys, then end up disturbing girls who actually came to read.
I usually stay out late on campus till 1-2am before going into my hostel.
Some days, I go to study in "night class". But do I actually read? You wish.
I just chill with my guys, then end up disturbing girls who actually came to read.
On this particular night, I went to night class with this really fine girl I& #39;ve been "chyking" for a while.
You know those smoking hot 100level babes that naivety is still blocking their breakthroughhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">
You know those smoking hot 100level babes that naivety is still blocking their breakthrough
Those ones you can bet that by 300level, they won& #39;t be the same anymore, so you gat chop your share on timehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">
Fine face, big ass, small, perky breastshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤤" title="Sabberndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Sabberndes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤤" title="Sabberndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Sabberndes Gesicht"> Just kill me, Evahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙆♀️" title="Frau gestikuliert „OK“" aria-label="Emoji: Frau gestikuliert „OK“">
Fine face, big ass, small, perky breasts
We planned on reading throughout the night; but my sole intention was to read a bit, then by midnight, I& #39;ll ask her to go outside with me so we can "collect fresh air", and then I& #39;ll do traffic light on her perky breasts, and possibly mekwehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">
Around 11:30pm, aunty told me she& #39;s tired and wants to go back to to her hostel.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unerfreutes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Unerfreutes Gesicht">
"Haba, Eva, calm down na. You sure you don& #39;t want to keep reading? I don& #39;t want you to fail oo.."https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😟" title="Besorgtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Besorgtes Gesicht">
I was just there behaving like an unpaid advisor. Konji na bastard shahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">
"Haba, Eva, calm down na. You sure you don& #39;t want to keep reading? I don& #39;t want you to fail oo.."
I was just there behaving like an unpaid advisor. Konji na bastard sha
Aunty no gree listen o. E be like say this one no know wetin I plan for her this night. You sef no go like explore? So I just carry this condom for nothing… Ah, try get conscience na; Aunty, calm down.
"Fine, you can sleep on my lap. I& #39;ll wake you up to read later." I persisted
"Fine, you can sleep on my lap. I& #39;ll wake you up to read later." I persisted
Aunty refused o, saying her bed is more comfortable than my thighs.
Ah, it looks like this one is mad ni. Your bed is more comfortable than what?https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">
This ultra-comfortable laps that I want you to bounce ontop?https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht"> You don& #39;t know what you& #39;re missing ohttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unerfreutes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Unerfreutes Gesicht">
Ah, it looks like this one is mad ni. Your bed is more comfortable than what?
This ultra-comfortable laps that I want you to bounce ontop?
After all the many many talk, she insisted on leavinghttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙆♀️" title="Frau gestikuliert „OK“" aria-label="Emoji: Frau gestikuliert „OK“">
"Okay na, let me escort you a bit."
She asked if I don& #39;t want to go to my hostel too.
"Me? Go where? I have a lot of pages to cover this night o. I& #39;m not going anywhere"https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💩" title="Dreckshaufen" aria-label="Emoji: Dreckshaufen">
Lieshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clownsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Clownsgesicht"> My plan was that I& #39;ll
"Okay na, let me escort you a bit."
She asked if I don& #39;t want to go to my hostel too.
"Me? Go where? I have a lot of pages to cover this night o. I& #39;m not going anywhere"
Lies
escort her to her hostel, come back to the class and take my books jeje, then head back to my hostel and enjoy my sleep in that cold weather.
But I no fit fall my hand na, as per medical student. I gat keep up the scholar statushttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau">
But I no fit fall my hand na, as per medical student. I gat keep up the scholar status
As we were walking, rain began threatening; lightening everywhere.
Aunty was like, "last chance to go take your bag, Barth… so that you go just go hostel straight."
I was like, "forget that thing. I am immune to cold, and I have sweater sef."https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😏" title="Grinsendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😏" title="Grinsendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht">
Aunty was like, "last chance to go take your bag, Barth… so that you go just go hostel straight."
I was like, "forget that thing. I am immune to cold, and I have sweater sef."
Me that I want to at least kiss you so that I can set the ball rolling towards our next meeting. We go do this mekwe las lashttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌚" title="Neumond mit Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Neumond mit Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌚" title="Neumond mit Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Neumond mit Gesicht">
I escorted her till we got to her hostel. I stretched my hands for a hug, and Eva say she no dey hug guys
"My pastor daddy said I should not…"
I escorted her till we got to her hostel. I stretched my hands for a hug, and Eva say she no dey hug guys
"My pastor daddy said I should not…"
Ehhh?! Your pastor daddy said what?!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Weinendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Weinendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Weinendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Weinendes Gesicht">
So I dey waste my time with pastor daughter sincehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
Eva, your pastor daddy said what?!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
But I dey see you with Jude na. Swear say he never run you traffic light before. Swear if this rain no go send thunder strike youhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
So I dey waste my time with pastor daughter since
Eva, your pastor daddy said what?!
But I dey see you with Jude na. Swear say he never run you traffic light before. Swear if this rain no go send thunder strike you
Aunty said they are just friends. She no dey do anything, not even hug.
Ordinary hug? Haba. Na churchgirl you dey run since?!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙆♀️" title="Frau gestikuliert „OK“" aria-label="Emoji: Frau gestikuliert „OK“">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙆♀️" title="Frau gestikuliert „OK“" aria-label="Emoji: Frau gestikuliert „OK“">
Ah, Bartholomew, you fuck up shaaa.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht">
Ordinary hug? Haba. Na churchgirl you dey run since?!
Ah, Bartholomew, you fuck up shaaa.
Pissed and disappointed, I left
Na so rain start to dey fall o. Next thing I knew, an aggressive storm ensued. See breeze and thunder everywhere. It seemed like the sky was mocking mehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">
I was literally the only one around, as far as I could see. It was few minutes past 12:30am
Na so rain start to dey fall o. Next thing I knew, an aggressive storm ensued. See breeze and thunder everywhere. It seemed like the sky was mocking me
I was literally the only one around, as far as I could see. It was few minutes past 12:30am
After waiting in a shade for more than an hour, I made up my mind to enter the rain. After all, the class no too far.
So I entered, and in no time, I was drenched.
The rain clouded my glasses, and I got tired of wiping them frequently, so i just left them like that,
So I entered, and in no time, I was drenched.
The rain clouded my glasses, and I got tired of wiping them frequently, so i just left them like that,
after all I knew the way like the back of my hand.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau">
After walking for a while, I just felt this strong impulse to wipe my glasses one more time. I tried to ignore it, but the impulse became even stronger.
After walking for a while, I just felt this strong impulse to wipe my glasses one more time. I tried to ignore it, but the impulse became even stronger.
Omo, as I remove my glass, I discovered that I was standing inches away from a transformerhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😲" title="Erstauntes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Erstauntes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😲" title="Erstauntes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Erstauntes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😮" title="Gesicht mit offenem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit offenem Mund">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😨" title="Angstvolles Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Angstvolles Gesicht">
One more step and I would have been electrocuted and roasted like chicken suya.
One more step and I would have been electrocuted and roasted like chicken suya.
I stood there for close to 30 seconds thinking about my entire life. Thinking about what I hadn& #39;t accomplished. What headline will all these bloggers use to write my story?
It& #39;ll most likely be:
"Depressed Uniben Medical Student Committed Suicide by Hugging Transformerhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😧" title="Schmerzgeplagtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Schmerzgeplagtes Gesicht">
My God!
It& #39;ll most likely be:
"Depressed Uniben Medical Student Committed Suicide by Hugging Transformer
My God!
Omo, na so I for just take die like fowl wey no get mama just because say I wan press bress.
Since that day, I never contacted aunty again, but I hear say she be semi-high class Instagram model shahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">
Oshey, omo Pastorhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌚" title="Neumond mit Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Neumond mit Gesicht">
Since that day, I never contacted aunty again, but I hear say she be semi-high class Instagram model sha
Oshey, omo Pastor
