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How I Almost Died Because Of Woman
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It was few weeks after I resumed 100lv in Uniben, 2015. All I wanted to do was explore my new found freedom to the fullest. I loved the nightlife, and wanted to fully enjoy it while chasing
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#BarthTales
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It was few weeks after I resumed 100lv in Uniben, 2015. All I wanted to do was explore my new found freedom to the fullest. I loved the nightlife, and wanted to fully enjoy it while chasing
girls with every opportunity I had
I usually stay out late on campus till 1-2am before going into my hostel.
Some days, I go to study in "night class". But do I actually read? You wish.
I just chill with my guys, then end up disturbing girls who actually came to read.
I usually stay out late on campus till 1-2am before going into my hostel.
Some days, I go to study in "night class". But do I actually read? You wish.
I just chill with my guys, then end up disturbing girls who actually came to read.
On this particular night, I went to night class with this really fine girl I've been "chyking" for a while.
You know those smoking hot 100level babes that naivety is still blocking their breakthrough
You know those smoking hot 100level babes that naivety is still blocking their breakthrough
Those ones you can bet that by 300level, they won't be the same anymore, so you gat chop your share on time
Fine face, big ass, small, perky breasts
Just kill me, Eva
Fine face, big ass, small, perky breasts
Just kill me, Eva
We planned on reading throughout the night; but my sole intention was to read a bit, then by midnight, I'll ask her to go outside with me so we can "collect fresh air", and then I'll do traffic light on her perky breasts, and possibly mekwe
Around 11:30pm, aunty told me she's tired and wants to go back to to her hostel.
"Haba, Eva, calm down na. You sure you don't want to keep reading? I don't want you to fail oo.."
I was just there behaving like an unpaid advisor. Konji na bastard sha
"Haba, Eva, calm down na. You sure you don't want to keep reading? I don't want you to fail oo.."
I was just there behaving like an unpaid advisor. Konji na bastard sha
Aunty no gree listen o. E be like say this one no know wetin I plan for her this night. You sef no go like explore? So I just carry this condom for nothing… Ah, try get conscience na; Aunty, calm down.
"Fine, you can sleep on my lap. I'll wake you up to read later." I persisted
"Fine, you can sleep on my lap. I'll wake you up to read later." I persisted
Aunty refused o, saying her bed is more comfortable than my thighs.
Ah, it looks like this one is mad ni. Your bed is more comfortable than what?
This ultra-comfortable laps that I want you to bounce ontop?
You don't know what you're missing o
Ah, it looks like this one is mad ni. Your bed is more comfortable than what?
This ultra-comfortable laps that I want you to bounce ontop?
You don't know what you're missing o
After all the many many talk, she insisted on leaving
"Okay na, let me escort you a bit."
She asked if I don't want to go to my hostel too.
"Me? Go where? I have a lot of pages to cover this night o. I'm not going anywhere"
Lies
My plan was that I'll
"Okay na, let me escort you a bit."
She asked if I don't want to go to my hostel too.
"Me? Go where? I have a lot of pages to cover this night o. I'm not going anywhere"
Lies
My plan was that I'll
escort her to her hostel, come back to the class and take my books jeje, then head back to my hostel and enjoy my sleep in that cold weather.
But I no fit fall my hand na, as per medical student. I gat keep up the scholar status
But I no fit fall my hand na, as per medical student. I gat keep up the scholar status
As we were walking, rain began threatening; lightening everywhere.
Aunty was like, "last chance to go take your bag, Barth… so that you go just go hostel straight."
I was like, "forget that thing. I am immune to cold, and I have sweater sef."
Aunty was like, "last chance to go take your bag, Barth… so that you go just go hostel straight."
I was like, "forget that thing. I am immune to cold, and I have sweater sef."
Me that I want to at least kiss you so that I can set the ball rolling towards our next meeting. We go do this mekwe las las
I escorted her till we got to her hostel. I stretched my hands for a hug, and Eva say she no dey hug guys
"My pastor daddy said I should not…"
I escorted her till we got to her hostel. I stretched my hands for a hug, and Eva say she no dey hug guys
"My pastor daddy said I should not…"
Ehhh?! Your pastor daddy said what?!
So I dey waste my time with pastor daughter since
Eva, your pastor daddy said what?!
But I dey see you with Jude na. Swear say he never run you traffic light before. Swear if this rain no go send thunder strike you
So I dey waste my time with pastor daughter since
Eva, your pastor daddy said what?!
But I dey see you with Jude na. Swear say he never run you traffic light before. Swear if this rain no go send thunder strike you
Aunty said they are just friends. She no dey do anything, not even hug.
Ordinary hug? Haba. Na churchgirl you dey run since?!
Ah, Bartholomew, you fuck up shaaa.
Ordinary hug? Haba. Na churchgirl you dey run since?!
Ah, Bartholomew, you fuck up shaaa.
Pissed and disappointed, I left
Na so rain start to dey fall o. Next thing I knew, an aggressive storm ensued. See breeze and thunder everywhere. It seemed like the sky was mocking me
I was literally the only one around, as far as I could see. It was few minutes past 12:30am
Na so rain start to dey fall o. Next thing I knew, an aggressive storm ensued. See breeze and thunder everywhere. It seemed like the sky was mocking me
I was literally the only one around, as far as I could see. It was few minutes past 12:30am
After waiting in a shade for more than an hour, I made up my mind to enter the rain. After all, the class no too far.
So I entered, and in no time, I was drenched.
The rain clouded my glasses, and I got tired of wiping them frequently, so i just left them like that,
So I entered, and in no time, I was drenched.
The rain clouded my glasses, and I got tired of wiping them frequently, so i just left them like that,
after all I knew the way like the back of my hand.
After walking for a while, I just felt this strong impulse to wipe my glasses one more time. I tried to ignore it, but the impulse became even stronger.
After walking for a while, I just felt this strong impulse to wipe my glasses one more time. I tried to ignore it, but the impulse became even stronger.
Omo, as I remove my glass, I discovered that I was standing inches away from a transformer
One more step and I would have been electrocuted and roasted like chicken suya.
One more step and I would have been electrocuted and roasted like chicken suya.
I stood there for close to 30 seconds thinking about my entire life. Thinking about what I hadn't accomplished. What headline will all these bloggers use to write my story?
It'll most likely be:
"Depressed Uniben Medical Student Committed Suicide by Hugging Transformer
My God!
It'll most likely be:
"Depressed Uniben Medical Student Committed Suicide by Hugging Transformer
My God!
Omo, na so I for just take die like fowl wey no get mama just because say I wan press bress.
Since that day, I never contacted aunty again, but I hear say she be semi-high class Instagram model sha
Oshey, omo Pastor
Since that day, I never contacted aunty again, but I hear say she be semi-high class Instagram model sha
Oshey, omo Pastor
