“I hope you’ll stay here longer next time.”

“Can’t you just stay?”

“You’re my bestfriend.”

“I love you, too.”

Mikael, study hard and hopefully we’ll see each other soon. Cousins by blood. Brothers by heart. I love you so much.

*4th pic

Took a power nap and you appeared in my dream, brings back all of the memories we shared and also the days you cried especially when I bid farewell before I went back home.

As I woke up, I uttered “Mikael”

3,601st: It’s been a week since I went home. Tbh, the fact I adjusted back to reality, I still have hangover from this memorable Christmas vacation.

Anyways, hopefully I’ll see you soon, maybe this year—we can’t tell it yet, miss you Mikael!

Convo via vc

*Tito sees Mikael chatting with me

“Kahit sa chat, ‘di kayo mapaghiwalay ah?”

“Oo nga po eh hahaha”

“Nag-enjoy ka ba dito sa Abu Dhabi?”

“SUPER, SUPER ENJOY HUHU”

You appeared in my dream and it appears you’re crying again why?

It’s been two weeks since I went back home. And finally going back to school tomorrow.

Awww Mikael

Miss y’all

We’ve been video calling since I went back home and just recently, he said to me:

“I wish you were here, ‘cause you are the only one who listens, understands, and cares for me.”

Okay. Be right back. Cryin’

It was during his moments of sharing he uttered this message and I did my best to comfort him, gave life advices as we reflect and realize deeply through his situation right now

Everything’s gonna be alright, Enzo. I’m praying that—aside from we’ll see each other soon, I’m also praying that you’ll not cry because of sadness but to cry because of joy

Jwu. I dreamt that I was at the airport alone and it was my turn to check in my baggages, what’s really strange was after checking in, the attendant gave me a boarding pass that has no detail of which destination I am going to.

After that, I failed to recall the next scenes

I think it’s a sign, possibilities are endless, maybe I’ll return back to ? Maybe I’ll go to other countries like ? Idk, but I’m hopeful—through this sign I may come back to spend more time with you just like I always say, or let it be a memorable trip for us that awaits

If it is a sign from You, Lord. I shall patiently wait for Your perfect time, perfect opportunity

Ah yes, I remembered another in my dream, it’s like you were scolded for no reason and you cried, then I was at the living room and you rushed to me and hugged me so tight.

It’s not a good sign and I hope you’re doing fine, if only I have the chance, I’ll hug you right away

Through a video call, I helped him with his written speech so that he can qualify for the upcoming speech competition in his school and I’m thrilled!

So my cousin was ignored by his friends and bullied by some of his classmates for being an Asian, they blamed him believing that Asians are the reason why the Novel coronavirus spread across countries

It’s kinda’ ridiculous to hear those from his classmates and I think aside from confronting them for the emotional damage they caused, there is a need to educate them. Smh for those racists

I’m sorry but I have to tell it to your Mom, ‘cause I don’t want you to be bullied again

And I don’t want you to be hurt again

Hearing the response of Enzo’s teacher regarding to his speech were: “very good; excellent.”

I hope you’ll advance to the speech competition, I’m so proud of you

Three weeks and a day since I went back home and I miss you more each day.

With the current situation you are in, acknowledged (opened up) not only through video calls but also when we’re together, always remember that everything’s gonna be alright, be strong, be yourself—

—and be optimistic, because I know there are lots of people out there love you so much and it’s your Mom & Dad, your Kuya and sister (your very own family), friends, and of course, even me

Had one of my worst mental breakdowns last night ‘cause he opened up again about what’s happening in his life and he cried hard too; then upon empathizing—idk I just felt the same way as him as it resulted to my outburst

The worst part? He wanted to leave his own family ‘cause he believed that he’s being left out of everything. Even if his needs were given enough, I knew something lacks with him and I dare say it’s undivided attention and emotional support

To empathize isn’t enough to realize the pain and to comfort someone like him isn’t enough to ease the pain he has been through

And like I always do, I did my best to comfort him to ease his pain just for a while so that no one can hear him sobbing, but it was too late when his nanny heard everything, it was an eye opener for her since it’s the first time she realized what’s really going on with Enzo

But the sad thing is, he can’t open up to his parents ‘cause he believes that they don’t have the undivided attention on him, second, no one could encourage him to do so (‘cause asking him simple things like how’s school doesn’t make any difference since he can just lie about it)

It just so happen that I am the only one who knows everything he opened up (but he finally opened up with his nanny—since she heard him anyway), how I wish he’ll be strong and brave enough to tell everything to his parents

It’s gonna be a good night sleep for me, as he told me that he finally opened up to his parents. He might be relieved right now, but his wounds will fully heal soon; he’s gonna grow stronger and wiser as well

It's been a while since we talked via video call—I think it was 4 days ago. Seeing his genuine smile was unprecedented to me and I hope it lasts

I checked on him and I couldn't believe how happy he was, thus it indicates there's a progress on rebuilding his connections, hopefully nothing will intervene

So he got the result of his speech and he received a decent grade of 89%, well of course that’s already great, but for him it wasn’t

As he showed the rubrics to me, neither he was happy nor satisfied with it, I saw disappointment on his face

“The highest was 100, but mine’s 89 so it’s far away from it and I’m not satisfied with it.”

He reminds me of my younger self wherein I have this foolish mindset before: I should aim for the highest as much as possible, believing it’s the pinnacle of exerting one’s best

Having this foolish mindset was due to growing academic expectations from everyone especially my parents, it made my school life miserable to the point I blame myself for “not doing my best” even I actually did it since I believed I didn’t live to the expectations

I reached Grade 9 and I ranked lower, I’ve never been so down before as I continued to blame myself, but little did I know that my parents weren’t expecting high after all and what really matters to them is for me—having a decent grade reflected to the extent of my effort—

—and the lessons I learned, shall be applied in real life as I aim for the future I’ve been pursuing and focusing on.

From the moment of my realization, I felt like I’m freed from the chains of “that mindset.”

“Enzo, you did great and you did your best; you did great but I know you can do better; And I’m so proud of you.”

Little did I know, Tito was there as he further explained it to him clearly:

“Enzo, you did great, you did your best; but there’ll always be room for improvement.”

It looks like this:

You did your best ‘cause in the first place, you aimed for it and you strove for it.

There are times we did our best but it ain’t enough. Wait! It doesn’t mean you didn’t do your best, but what really matters is that, there’s still a need to improve

And that way, you let yourself in a room for improvement, thus, you can be better.

I hope he’ll move on from that kind of mindset and let himself excel to the extent of his own best potentials.

Cheer up, Enzo

It’s been a month https://twitter.com/mrkjshcld/status/1225098675812098049

You appeared in my dream for the fourth time: you picked me up at the airport as I returned back to for the second time

You may go home here in or I go back to what really matters is that we’ll see each other soon.

Miss you, Mikael

If it is a sign from You, Lord God. I will patiently wait for the perfect time as always

It’s been five days since our last video call and luckily I was able to call you last night, but I just realized you were quiet and you barely answer me.

I hope you’re okay, Enzo

Since I’m connected to his nanny starting last month, there’ll be no worries for me as she can share to me everything

Video call with him recently and it’s the best one for this month. And of course, life has been always our agenda—as I deal with his inquiries about it

This month, I decided to manage our time whenever we gonna video call because since last month, we video call every day and this brought impact to my sleep patterns and also, his time within the household

But there’s this one time I told him that I’m going to end the call and he said jokingly, “Don’t, don’t go, or I will cry.” It was hilarious as he wished me to stay longer for a bit

It may be an understatement but it shows our eagerness to get connected so that we can cope no matter how far we are from each other

Had our video call recently and I can’t believe it’s 100x better than ever before in terms of quality; video was not choppy and voice quality was crystal clear though special thanks to Discord app, as shared by my cousin

I found out the app was specially made for gamers which they can connect with each other as they chat or call while they play games. Turns out, Enzo uses this app so that he can chat with his friends

Last night, his Chromebook was having technical difficulties and he decided to ask his Kuya for help to fix the problem and even asked if it’s okay to borrow his Kuya’s laptop, but turns out, they went for a heated debate

His Kuya insisted to fix the Chromebook while he wanted to borrow the laptop so that he can seamlessly continue our call and watch videos. Their heated debate cooled off, as Enzo went to his room alone

Since we’re in voice call that time, I heard everything, until he ended the call to chat instead, I was worried so I called him back, after 10 unanswered attempts, he finally answered and heard him sobbing

Tbh I was not able to recall everything he said but his sobbing was the only thing I reminisced that time. I comforted him and surprisingly, he shared something that happened recently during his class

During the class, he brought a toy, his classmate saw it and asked Enzo if he can just give it or even sell it to him. Enzo insisted not to give or sell it to his classmate until he decided to sell it, but turns out, his classmate made a false accusation that Enzo took his money

What’s really ridiculous is that, the teacher, upon hearing both of their sides, sided with Enzo’s classmate and asked him to return the money. Enzo, being defenseless, decided to return it back

Reminiscent of what happened to him last month as he was bullied for being Asian and now, he’s falsely accused of extortion, it made me concern of him and his school life. I asked him to tell this to his parents but he insisted not to

“What’s the point of opening up, if they [still] blame me [in the end]”

He told me about this and I think this is what hinders him to do it. I replied:

“From the moment you opened up last month, I believe everyone’s helping you to relieve from your situation, the missing puzzle piece would be: to help yourself, because how come someone’s help would be so effective if you can’t even apply it to yourself?”

I said this to him like this ‘cause I know he knows himself more than anyone could do it

"You may be hurt by anyone who dared to hurt you, but from what I've seen and heard, you still fought a good fight."

"We may be far away, always remember that I will always be there, ready to listen. After all, one cannot overcome his problems without the help of a someone.”

Said this to him ‘cause helping someone entails helping oneself

4,200th: He appeared once again in my dream and he’s with his Dad, can’t recall everything but only the group hug we made during our trip. Okay brb cryin’

4,300th: Aside from the family that inspires him throughout his life, he revealed to me this time that someone special also inspires him too and can’t contain myself rn

At first, he actually sent an mv to me, I listened to the song and heard the lyrics carefully and I asked him how did he like the song and how it becomes relatable to him. Then, little did I know he’s about to tell me something

It’s about someone that inspired him; well he’s uneasy when he told me about it; I tried to maintain his composure and I just thought that he cannot explain what he feels—which would be first time to him

Well, it’s natural to have a crush on someone, it epitomizes our attraction and admiration to certain attributes that makes someone really special to us.

But if feelings develop, then you’re in love

We haven’t chatted since last week, I hope you're good. And I hope we can call next time. Miss you!

He appeared in my dream last night and it was the moment of leaving their residence in

We all went down to the basement where the parking lot is located. I put my baggage at the back of my Tito’s car and, tried to never looked at Tita’s car where Enzo is already there ‘cause I was maintaining my composure

As I almost opened the car door at the front, I can’t recall who called my name and someone told me that Enzo is still crying. Never hesitated, I ran towards the car he’s inside, opened the car door and hugged him for the last time as he sobbed out.

And, everything went black

It just so happen that you really miss the person, you think of that person every time, thus, that person appears whenever you dream during your sleep

9 days passed and luckily I called him and he answered back quickly but it was a short conversation. I just really wish to see him soon, I miss you Mikael!

5 days passed. I think the streak of our voice and video calls ended already due to our preoccupation and it’s fine and understandable.

Maybe we can call next time. And please take care of yourself and your family. Can’t wait to see you soon, Mikael

Miss you, love you.

Can we just go back to the morning of 12.19 last year? Where I arrived at your home after your Dad and Kuya fetched me up at the airport, and saw you running towards me as we hugged warm and tight?

And yet, the rest of my stay there was indeed memorable

8 days passed. Tried to call him and luckily he answered. He asked me to help him with his online class activities. And yet we had another conversation atm.

What a relief.

If I can remember my dream last night, Enzo and I were in a mall, at the entrance I saw the restroom and went inside as I asked him to wait for me outside

Finished and went outside, I strolled a short distance and realized something is not right. I lost Enzo and he’s missing in my sight. I trembled in fear as I walked faster to look for him at any direction

The mall reminds me of the Galleria Mall in Abu Dhabi, it’s quite big and luxurious, there were lots of people strolling, giving me a hard time to find Enzo

An hour has passed, I have strolled around the mall and never got so sweaty than ever before, still trembling in fear and worry, I don’t know where to go next since I can’t really find him

Feeling hopeless, I continued to stroll slowly. As I passed by a fastfood chain, I was surprised by Enzo as he bought a burger meal for himself and for me

My rage went uncontrollable, little did I know I was already scolding Enzo, I accidentally shouted at him to stop talking as he’s trying to explain his side. This gained the attention of some people passing by but decided not to intervene with us

I realized I pushed myself too far as he started to cry, unexpectedly he dropped the snacks he bought and ran away from me. I chased after him

We reached the exit towards the carpark and he finally stopped, he stared at me crying. I broke down shortly as I hugged him, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I got carried away.” Those were the words I uttered many times

In return, he hugged me even tighter as he sobbed.

And everything went black.

Enzo,

I’m sorry for worrying, wondering, and thinking too much of you. I’m sorry for not maintaining my composure sometimes. It just so happen that I cared so much upon learning you as my cousin and your past experiences you shared

I don’t know why we got something in ourselves to become close to each other despite being far away and living with our respective families. Maybe it’s because we only see each other like once or twice a year

For every time we see each other, I make sure that we’ll make memories as many as we can despite the limited time. I’ll take photos as many as I can, to store such precious memories

If you have something to share with me (or open up) never hesitate to tell me about it, for I will listen as I console you the best I can, I do hope you can also converse with your parents too

5,101st:

I will always thank God for having a cousin like you, we may be cousins by blood, but we’re brothers by heart.

Miss you. Love you, and see you soon, Enzo.

10 days passed. It turned out to be unexpected as Enzo messaged me this time. And it was all about his friends who maltreated him. Tbh I have no idea what really happened, I called him and asked about it, but he refused to go deeper within the problem

The call was short-lived as he went offline, leaving me clueless.

If that’s the case, it’s okay. But if you’re going to tell or share something, much better. You better talk to your friends about the problem though.

A few hours later, I decided to call him back, at least he’s okay rn. He even showed to me his new gaming setup and started his own gaming channel at Mixer. I’m glad he’s having a great time albeit hating the quarantine period at the same time. Stay safe!

I kinda’ felt relief after the call and I hope we’ll continue calling throughout this quarantine period. See you real soon!

Boiii we called like for 3 hours and 43 minutes on Discord; helped you on your online activities; talked about your games; even played Minecraft for a brief time.

Amid the quarantine, I dare say we should do this more often.

Yet another hour and 25

“I wish we [could] go back in time.”

You’re right Enzo, how I wish 2020 is cancelled and let’s go back to 2019, surely it’s a memorable year though as it brings us back to the memories we shared.

5,215th: I do hope that the pandemic will end and we’ll be able to see each other this year. If not, let it be puhon, in God’s perfect time.

Yet another hour of voice call

And yet, another hour of voice call

“I wish I was at the Philippines.”

“Why boiii? [yeah how I wish to be with you though]”

“So I wanna eat Taho, wait, does the Taho man still roams around the streets? [to sell taho]”

“No boiii, [amid the pandemic] since we gotta observe social distancing.”

*sound like cryin’ “Ahuhuhu I hate this virus.”

You’re not the only one boiii, I do hope this pandemic will come to an end, that way everything will go back to normal and you can finally go home here in the and I’m gonna buy you Taho.

Please stay safe. Miss you boiii

“You should appreciate for who you are.”

Well said, Enzo.

“Joshua, can you do me a favor? When I go home to the Philippines, buy me puto bumbong; taho every morning; and McDonald’s”

"Joshua, please tell everyone in the family that I greet them good morning, tell them to stay safe and I love them too.”

I love you, Enzo.

So we’ve been calling for five days straight; and yesterday, he told me that he was not in the mood, I asked him why and he replied that his Kuya broke their deal

Have no idea what sort of deal he was talking about, to cut the long story short, he told me instead that he can’t play the video game console anymore because of his Kuya

I asked him if his parents already knew their problem. He replied indirectly that--his parents must’ve been more caring of an inanimate object [later referred, a bear] than him. Even if it’s a message, I kinda’ imagine how frustrated he was

His frustration brought him to extremes as he thought of leaving the household someday--once again, thus making me worried throughout that day

I’m sorry for learning your grudges, again. You actually did the right thing of letting it all out, that way you can lighten yourself even a little bit as I willingly listened to you. Never thought of giving an advice but just like I said: speak up, open up for yourself—

—especially to your parents. Please never ever thought of leaving, I just can’t imagine how your family will respond to that kind of situation. Despite the imperfections, their love for you is unconditional and I do believe that’s what families are for

As for me, always remember that no matter how far our distances from each other, if you wanna talk or share something, never hesitate to message or call me via our messaging platforms

I love you bruh, please take care of yourself, see you real soon.

115th of this thread:

See you soon, boiii!!!

*hakai means “destroy” or “destruction” in Japanese, well, he is into anime so I thought it would make this more interesting.