Ronald McDonald
Raymond Kroc said, "A laurel rested on soon withers.." And keeping that in mind, I will present my latest tweet, mixing facts along with my observations as a child who wondered way too much of the world around him:

Ronald McDonald; a Child’s patriarch?

1) Little did I know of the shifty and conniving dealings in fast food that would have made Faust nervous, and the web of disinformation spun by the likes of a portly weatherman, yes my friends I speak of no other than an American Icon...McDonalds.

2) In 1954, a 52yo milk-shake machine salesman saw a hamburger stand in San Bernardino, California, and had a vision, what he saw many of youth take for granted- fast food. Raymond Kroc proclaims himself to be the founder and corporate builder of McDonalds...

3) What is NOT widely known – he didn’t invent McDonalds. Maurice and Richard McDonald left New Hampshire in 1930, seeking to make their fortune in Hollywood. Unable to strike it big in Tinsel town, the brothers wound up as proprietors of a drive-in restaurant in San Bernardino..

4) Mr. Kroc used every legal means to get his corporate hands on the moneymaking restaurant. Kroc within two years had pushed the McDonalds brothers into a corner and finally out the door. The money making machine was launched, Kroc saw a future with characters to make more $$$!

5) A little known weatherman created Ronald McDonald by the name of Willard Scott. The first Ronald McDonald ad, around 1960, Willard says, "I know you're not supposed to talk to strangers, kids, but it's okay to talk to me, because I'm Ronald the hamburger-loving clown!"

6) Originally he wore shoes made of buns, a cup on his nose, and a hat with a hamburger meal on it. Soon, this was dropped for the more familiar clown outfit. Ronald, IMHO, is a caricature of the brothers, who sang, danced and most of all trusted Kroc with everything they had...

7) Next is lovable sidekick Grimace –"A sharp contortion of the face expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust". Jane Hulbert, defined Grimace as a "big fuzzy purple fellow who personifies the child in everyone...He is Ronald's special pal".
I think he represents something else..

8) Grimace is the result of the corporate hoodwinking of the brothers. The original Grimace had four arms and would steal milkshakes from children, evil Grimace (as he was originally known) finally was revamped and made into the wonderful character we all know & love today...

9) ..and yet he still has a milkshake in his hand – it appears old habits do indeed die hard. Uncle O'Grimacey was introduced in the 1970's. He is Grimace's Irish uncle, although Grimace's heritage has never been fully explored. He was used to pitch the delicious Shamrock Shake.

10) Next is Mayor McCheese, the Mayor of McDonaldland, who has a head shaped like a cheeseburger. Who would elect a public official who is comprised of a small 100% beef patty w/ onions, pickle, ketchup, mustard topped with a slice of American cheese?

11) Next? Big Mac, a policeman character, has a head shaped like a Big Mac sandwich. Invented in 1974 by a Pittsburgh storeowner to counter other chains large sandwiches, Burger King’s Whopper for one. Don't think the "Mac"/ policeman link was lost on me typical stereotypes

12) Introduce in 1971, The Professor is a mad-scientist type character in a lab coat. What his role in the McDonald landscape is beyond me. There is no hospital, laboratory, or research center to be found in McDonaldland. And secondly what is the deal with the wrench???

13) Next - the Fry Guys (& Fry Gals) who talk to Ronald, little mophead-like things, which were originally called Goblins, but an ad campaign in the '70's changed that.

Question here is how loud did they scream when they were dunked in hot grease and shoved under a hot lamp?

14) Captain Crook is labeled the hero of the Filet-O-Fish sandwich. Invented in 1965 by Louis Groen in Cincinnati to counter the fish sandwich at Bob's Big Boy on Fridays (large Catholic population). A story about the Fish sandwich that goes a little something like this…

15) One of the crew members went on break, grabbed a fish sandwich, put a 1/2 slice of cheese and stuck it on the fish patty. It was just the thing the sandwich needed to achieve a proper flavor balance…and they have had half a slice of cheese ever since...

16) "Birdie the Early Bird" was introduced when breakfast began being served at McDonald's. From 1971-80 there was no female in McDonaldland, then in 1980 she appears. The most intelligent of all the characters; reads books, flies planes, and knows lots of science!
STEM ladies!

17) Hamburglar is the villain who steals hamburgers in McDonaldland (but, can you blame him?) *Note, first he is about 70, as the years move forward; he grows younger.
•Is the Hamburglar a freak of nature?
•He possess the elusive Fountain of Youth?
•From Mork’s home planet?

18) Last is Mac Tonight, the name alone brings to mind a seedy, back alley hustler calling you to a nice game of dice. And while were at it let’s throw in a little bit of ‘ol blue eye – Frank Sinatra just to drive the point home....

19) Mac the Knife can’t be trusted, hell your libel to walk out of McDonalds penniless like so many others in Las Vegas before you. And we are expected to just be hypnotized into a warm trance-like state by this half moon headed monster…I don’t think so...

20) So the overall theme of Ray Kroc and his vision of McDonalds is the true nature of capitalism. It’s not Rays fault the brothers were not as shifty he was, he was only doing what came natural to most Americans. Take an idea and make it your own, make millions of dollars...

21) ...and if anyone tries to call you a liar or cheat, sue the McPants off him in McCourt. So the moral of this is quite simple. Kids if you come across two country-bumpkins that haven’t a clue of knowing what is working and what isn’t, please follow in Kroc’s footsteps...