Today is the day. Gather round. https://twitter.com/thealphadawn/status/1178925929315360769

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people say that the reason why they hesitate before going into a relationship or asking someone out, is because they haven’t “felt the butterflies” yet.

I won’t even lie. I’ve been that person several times in the past.

And so, I understand how it goes.

But the truth is: that fluttery feeling in your stomach is not solid/trustworthy enough to be the decision-maker in your life.
Also, the feeling of having butterflies is—more often than not—plain ANXIETY.

What is this feeling, and what causes it?

Butterflies in your stomach refers to short-term anxiety caused by specific events. We all have probably felt it at some point in our lives.

Before taking a test, delivering a speech, or performing in front of people.

So where do these butterflies come from?

In case you’re wondering; no, it’s not literal butterflies
It’s simply your body’s “fight or flight” response.

In any situation that’s causing anxiety, your nervous system releases adrenaline to prepare your body for danger.

This would then increase your heart rate, and redirect blood away from your stomach and toward your arms and legs (fight or flight).

The reduced blood flow to your stomach is what causes that fluttery feeling. Often felt in situations where you feel the need to protect yourself.

This fluttery feeling is your body’s signal of an upcoming situation that would be stressful or uncomfortable.

This is how you know to be alert, get your guards up, and be aware of your surroundings.

Doesn’t sound so romantic after all, does it?

So when did it become normal to actually crave this feeling in relationships?
Why do we say “I don’t feel the butterflies anymore” like it’s a bad thing?

Let me first state that at the start of a new relationship, anxiety and excitement can easily blend together..

However, one of them should disappear as the relationship progresses.

Feeling nervous when you’re around them—to the point of wanting to throw up or hide your face—is a huge sign that something is wrong.

Let’s stop romanticizing it. What you are supposed to feel is peace.

Constantly worrying whether they’d leave you.
Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.
Always worried that you’d say the wrong thing.

All these feelings are unhealthy, and should not be present in a loving, supporting relationship.

I’d stop here because I don’t want this thread to be a long one.

Please. Don’t use “I’m not getting butterlfies” as an excuse to break off a good thing.
Should you feel anything at all, let it be peace of mind.

So, breathe and relax. You’re not a nervous wreck.

Blessings!